Common Courtesy - Rant

[catkiki]

Whatever happened to common courtesy? I ride the bus every day to work now. On one of my buses, the ride in the morning is full of College kids and teenagers. There are seats in front for the elderly and handicapped. But they can't use them because some kid is sitting there. I have seen older men and women have to stand  while able bodied spoiled brats sat and listened to their MP3 and playing games on their phones. Some have their music so loud that it everyone can hear it, even when they have ear buds. The drivers can't really do anything as the kids will try to beat up the driver if they say anything. I try to get on sometimes, and some kid will crowd my to get on first. Even if I am first in line. And trying to get off the bus is a pain too since the kids that do stand, don't like to move to let people off!

When I was a teenager and college student, I would give up my seat to an older person. That was common courtesy. I am unsteady on my feet at times and will sometimes say something about it until someone gets up and lets me sit down.

I have news for these young punks. What comes around, goes around. Someday YOU will be old and some young punk will make YOU stand.

Gawd I hate taking the bus to work!

 

[Willowy]

If it's to the point that the teenagers will beat up the driver if he says anything, I think expecting courtesy is a bit far-fetched. I hate to think of what kind of violent home those kids must have grown up in. It all starts with teaching children to be kind and considerate by the parents modeling those behaviors at home and in public. If someone's parents were jerks it's likely he just doesn't know any better.

 

[momto3boys]

Wow, they will beat up the bus driver?  That's insane.

I believe in karma as well....

My boys are 10, 9 and 6 and they always respect the older people.....in front of me anyway, I would hope they do when Im not around as well.

 

[aussie_dog]

Over here, if someone's getting on the bus who'll need those seats (someone who's in a wheelchair, has a cane, or has a stroller with a kid), the driver will tell whoever's occupying those seats that they need to find another seat. He'll even get up and fold or unfold the seats as needed (if wheelchair users need that extra room). For the most part, if someone's getting on the bus who'll need those seats, whoever is occupying the seat gets up of his own accord and finds another spot. I've seen more courtesy than selfishness. Maybe once or twice someone has ignored the fact that they should be making the seat available.

We have decent drivers and decent riders. Riders respect the driver and other riders, but if they don't, the driver will call out to the offender to "turn down the headphones, please," or "watch the language." Every time, the request is obeyed. IF someone dares to challenge the driver, he'll kick him off the bus (I've seen it happen once; the kid pelted the bus with snowballs as we drove away)

 

[resqchick]

This is a sign of the disrespect these kids are raised to feel is acceptable. I was talking to my daughter about this yesterday. She was saying how it makes her really angry to see kids disrespecting teachers, lunch ladies, and just about everyone else. My children have been raised to respect anyone older than them. I have people tell me, that even when I'm not around, and they are with others, that they are polite, helpful and always respectful. Thank GOD. 

If I behaved that way, my hide would have been tanned like a leather jacket. I think it's also setting an example. I have given up my seat, in many places to older people (and I'm not all that young), to pregnant women, and to anyone who seems to need a seat more than I. I have seen my kids give up their seats, without my asking them to. They have been taught to hold doors, lend a hand to someone if they need it, and to help people, like the elderly, by asking them to lean on them. It's a form of self entitlement, that kids are raised with these days. Kids are NOT equal to adults. They are given parents to teach them and show them how to behave. If that job is not done by the parents, you get children who feel they are just as entitled to sitting down as a person who is older and NEEDS the seat.It's disgraceful. 

I've told you guys how I have tossed kids out of my house for being disrespectful. Let them go somewhere else where that behavior is acceptable. It is NOT in my house. 

 

[rosiemac]

I must admit most teenagers haven't been taught to give their seats up on public transport either.

But, l have to say not all of the older generation know thair manners either!. I was in London at the weekend, and as l made my way back to my hotel room there are security doors throughout the floors. A gentleman who looked to be late 50's was coming in the other direction and l held the door open for him  and he walked past me with out saying thanks 

  Not one to stay quiet, as the door was slowly closing l shouted back "It's usually manners to say thank you!!"

 

[nebula]

It isn't just teenagers, it is younger kids too.

This sense of entitlement has to go- but unfortunately with more divorced homes, ridiculous parents who excuse bad behavior or worse, laugh it off- are what is destroying society.

A child is a product of their environment. That being said, there are sometimes a child is just a "bad seed", regardless of how they were raised, but this is very few and far between.

As far as public transportation here it is non existent But when I lived in the DFW area- it was rampant disrespect. More Dallas on the DART than Fort Worth on The "T"

I think the kids need a good smacking, just IMO.. Which is probably why I don't work with kids in Daycare anymore-- and have none of my own. I don't wanna raise no prisoners

 

[ericsmom1000]

Parents today either try too hard to be their child's friend, instead of the parent (I've seen this many times at my local park), or defend indefensible behavior.

I used to ride Metrolink, the commuter train here in Los Angeles, and we had Los Angeles County Sheriff deputies on board -- they were, and are, the equivalent of transit police in other cities.  Anyone who got out of hand was given a warning, and if it was ignored, was unceremoniously dumped at the next stop -- this on top of a citation if the situation warranted it.    If they wanted to continue on to their destinations, they would have to pay additional fare -- no getting back on the train for free.  The conductor let his colleagues on the trains behind him of the troublemaker at a particular stop, and if there was no proof of fare payment, that person wasn't going anywhere.  The same for our subways.  The deputies are there, too.

The buses that serve my neighborhood and adjacent communities have drivers that won't put up with any garbage.  They have no problems speaking up.  They can always call the LAPD (Los Angeles Police Department) or whatever law enforcement agency is serving the particular area they are in, and assistance is received.

People have gotten very selfish, and not just teenagers.  I had to tell a woman at my church -- someone with a master's degree in education -- that it's a good idea to call in if you're going to be late.  (She works as a receptionist.) She came strolling in on Monday, 30 minutes late, full of excuses -- and I hate excuses.  With all the technology we have today, there's absolutely no excuse for not calling in.  She also assumed that I would be in the office, so I could cover for her.  Since when does she make decisions for me?  I told her I have a life outside this church, and not to assume anymore, because her behavior was rude and selfish.  I asked if she would have tolerated such behavior when she was teaching (she's retired now).  She said no.

She apparently thought that because it was volunteer position, she didn't have to show any courtesy.  Not so -- and I made sure she knew it.

I'm like Rosiemac -- when I hold the door open for someone and they don't thank me, I say, "You're welcome" very loudly.  If it's someone younger than me (I'm in my early 50s), and I'm old enough to be that person's mom, they get the "good manners" lecture from me.

My dad was the disciplinarian, and he was appalled when I'd showed bad manners.  He was not afraid to straighten me out, even in public, and very embarrassing.

 

[Willowy]

I think it's funny that people who push "courtesy" think it's OK to call people out for not saying "thank you" for holding the door. That's horribly discourteous; they didn't ask you to hold the door, and now you're rudely demanding to be thanked? Lecturing strangers and telling off co-workers is also very rude. I think that a lot of people don't know what true courtesy is.

 

[speakhandsforme]

I think it's funny that people who push "courtesy" think it's OK to call people out for not saying "thank you" for holding the door. That's horribly discourteous; they didn't ask you to hold the door, and now you're rudely demanding to be thanked? Lecturing strangers and telling off co-workers is also very rude. I think that a lot of people don't know what true courtesy is.

 

[rosiemac]

I think it's funny that people who push "courtesy" think it's OK to call people out for not saying "thank you" for holding the door. That's horribly discourteous; they didn't ask you to hold the door, and now you're rudely demanding to be thanked? Lecturing strangers and telling off co-workers is also very rude. I think that a lot of people don't know what true courtesy

If someone let a door close on me knowing l was right behind them l would find that " horribly discourteous"  of them. Ok they never asked to have the door held open for them, but really,  is it such a hard task to say thank you when the other person is being polite?

Maybe it's the UK who are sticklers when it comes to  manners?. I've even had overseas sales calls at work where the caller doesn't even say goodbye, they just hang up!!, so that's another thing l find strange with some people

 

[gailc]

I have to agree on the manners issue.  When customers come in and make their purchase we offer then a sample of our products.  Parents with kids ( of all ages) run up to the sample area and tap on the glass wanting their sample in front of other customers-some cry (yes really) when we don't have what they want to sample!  Most people adults & kids do not thank us for the sample either.  We get our fair share of rude customers too -I could go on & on.......

 

[Willowy]

If someone let a door close on me knowing l was right behind them l would find that " horribly discourteous"  of them. Ok they never asked to have the door held open for them, but really,  is it such a hard task to say thank you when the other person is being polite?

Maybe it's the UK who are sticklers when it comes to  manners?. I've even had overseas sales calls at work where the caller doesn't even say goodbye, they just hang up!!, so that's another thing l find strange with some people

It isn't a "hard task" and yes, they should say thank you, but to twit them about it if they don't is even ruder. Two rudes don't make a polite .

Americans find a lot of things that Brits do/say to be rude, and vice versa. I would chalk that up to cultural differences, not that any one group really is more rude than another.

I can't pick on any particular age group when it comes to bad manners. I work with the public and I find middle age/older women to be THE most rude , but maybe that's because they make up the largest percentage of people I have contact with. Really it spans all ages, genders, income levels, backgrounds, cultures, etc.

 

[pushylady]

It isn't a "hard task" and yes, they should say thank you, but to twit them about it if they don't is even ruder. Two rudes don't make a polite .

I think there's a difference between being rude and sticking up for yourself. Someone who slams the door in your face or can't be bothered to mutter a quick thanks when you hold it open for them is being disrespectful. How would anyone ever change their behaviour if they're not called out on it?

 

[Willowy]

Behavior that hurts other people (or animals) should be confronted. I do not think that forgetting to say thank you is in any way harmful or worth confronting.

I DO think that feeling entitled to confront strangers for perceived disrespect may lead to much worse behavior. Why are you more entitled to respect than they are?

 

[zohdee]

You know what I find very rude?  People who push their grocery buggies into the express lane with well over the posted amount.  And I always say something.

 

[ruthyb]

Even when I was heavily pregnant and couldn't drive so I used to catch the bus, I used to give up my seat for elderly/disabled people. Its not just young ones that are rude though, I have been on the receiving end of some very ignorant old people.x

 

[rosiemac]

I think there's a difference between being rude and sticking up for yourself. Someone who slams the door in your face or can't be bothered to mutter a quick thanks when you hold it open for them is being disrespectful. How would anyone ever change their behaviour if they're not called out on it?

Exactly!.

The sad thing is, these sort of people are too thick skinned that they'll never learn, but we can always hope.

 

[mary'scalico]

Wow, talk about annoying. I would say something to them! Handicapped people and the elderly have first pick to those seats.