Colony cats... adopt out or stay here

[Honeybee Meadow]

I don't know what to do.
We have two one-year old community cats - Pitter & Patter - who are quite social and I had planned to home. I dragged my heels getting them ready for adoption, but found someone who wanted them as a pair when they were 8 months old, but I never heard back from them. Until recently.
Since then, they've become very accustomed to our property over these past few months, and are so happy here. Pitter is very bonded with their mother; Patter not AS much, but is still close with them both nonetheless.
I'm literally torn about what to do. This person is now thrilled to get them (in September) and messages me weekly. I'm half excited for them to have a home, but my heart tells me that they'd be happier staying here.
ANY advice???

 

[heatherwillard0614]

Can I ask you they wanted them when they were 8 months but stopped communicating with you about them? That's 4 months ago that they wanted them but just stopped responding.. Do you know these people well??

 

[Honeybee Meadow]

Hi there....

Thank you for responding! The woman (girl...?... she's in college) is a friend of my niece. I told my niece in March that I was looking for a home for Pitter & Patter, and she spread the word, and her friend said that she would love to have them. That was April.

Somewhere communication got lost despite a bunch of back & forth to confirm that her friend was still interested. After a month or so, I kinda held off chasing her because I was caught up with TNR-ing others, P&P's mother (Pucker) had another litter, and P&P were active in helping care for the kittens.

So...another two months passed, and my niece says that her friend came to her and is still interested in P&P. But, in the meantime, P&P became very bonded with Pucker & the kittens. Now that those 3 little ones are in their new homes, it's even more obvious how close P&P & Pucker are. Even moreso now that Pucker's been spayed.

I kind of understand the logistics behind her waiting (finals, summer break, moving to a new apartment), although it makes me a little tiffed that I was left in the dark & dragged along.

I was thrilled that P&P were on the way to being adopted, but seeing them now, I feel like they belong together, here. Their mother isn't adoptable...she's still fairly feral, although social with me.

I do trust this woman as being a great cat parent.

 

[heatherwillard0614]

Ok I really wanted to ask because you never know with people.. just as you I want what's best for them as well (even though I have nothing to do with it lol) but I don't understand why she just stopped communicating with you. She should have said hey this is what's going on I still want them so on and so fourth... but honestly if they are social enough to be homed I think I would but then again it would be hard because of how bonded they are to Pucker.. maybe someone else will be along and give you some insight on what they think.. I'm sorry I'm not much help. I think I feel the same way you feel about it kind of torn..

 

[Honeybee Meadow]

Ok I really wanted to ask because you never know with people.. just as you I want what's best for them as well (even though I have nothing to do with it lol) but I don't understand why she just stopped communicating with you. She should have said hey this is what's going on I still want them so on and so fourth... but honestly if they are social enough to be homed I think I would but then again it would be hard because of how bonded they are to Pucker.. maybe someone else will be along and give you some insight on what they think.. I'm sorry I'm not much help. I think I feel the same way you feel about it kind of torn..

Oh, my goodness.... I'm going bonkers with trying to figure out what to do! Yeah, she definitely should have been in touch... but, like I said, there was a lot going on with summer jobs, moving, etc. My niece graduated and moved to where she's going to graduate school. I get all that for sure. My niece adopted two from our colony and her roommate adopted one, is taking one of the kittens in September, and is taking another older kitten for her mom. I'm in Pennsylvania, they're in Massachusetts and have always been happy to travel. That alone gives me assurance about their commitment. Such a nice little circle of kitty friends

 

[heatherwillard0614]

Oh, my goodness.... I'm going bonkers with trying to figure out what to do! Yeah, she definitely should have been in touch... but, like I said, there was a lot going on with summer jobs, moving, etc. My niece graduated and moved to where she's going to graduate school. I get all that for sure. My niece adopted two from our colony and her roommate adopted one, is taking one of the kittens in September, and is taking another older kitten for her mom. I'm in Pennsylvania, they're in Massachusetts and have always been happy to travel. That alone gives me assurance about their commitment. Such a nice little circle of kitty friends

I can understand them being super busy.. but a message would have been nice.. things happen though. They still want them and it is really good in terms of their commitment for sure.
I would want to for Pitter and Patter to give them a long healthy life. On average outside cats only live about half as long as indoor cats due to predators, diseases, traffic, etc. For these reasons I would definitely want to because as it sits right now they have a chance at a home where they will be loved safe and can relax. It old just be hard for Pucker. But that being said I think if P&P are socialized enough to be homed I think it would be what is best for them. Of course it is going to be hard for the first little bit but in the long run I think it will be beneficial to go ahead and get them a home while they can still be homed and not feral.

 

[tiggerwillow]

I think its best to home them if the home is suitable, they'll adjust and settle

It would be less fair to let them live a feral lifestyle in my opinion, particularly as they are adoptable.

Is the potential new mum in a stable living environment, ready to adopt them both, or is she in temporary accommodation?

 

[di and bob]

Just make absolutely sure that she knows these are colony cats and may remain hidden in a house for literally months. It will take a lot of commitment and time. Also that they will be kept strictly indoors, or there would be no reason to rehome them. On teh journey they must be kept in a carrier, they are escape artists when they are scared. Make sure she understands completely that she must get hold of you before rehoming or is having problems.....

 

[kittychick]

Poor thing - that's definitely a stressful decision! I know how difficult it is to rehome foster cats from the shelter we foster for - it's heartbreaking to watch them go - especially if it's a mom and litter, or small litter, that won't be going together. And I'm truly empathetic with "splitting up the family" - we had a feral mom give birth under our neighbor's deck. We TNR'd mom and the 3 kittens once they were weaned, and had to return mom bc she was SO feral - - but listening to her cry for her babies (they were alot younger then the mom and family you have) made us almost release them back out. In the end we're glad we didn't - after a chunk of time socializing them, all 3 went to great homes and are still living pampered, healthy, loving indoor lives. But yes - leaving mom alone was REALLY hard - so I get how hard a decision that is. Even now we have 3 ferals that we've worked on getting indoor full time, but it hasn't worked despite years of trying for large portions of time. They come in during bad winter storms or cold snaps, but otherwise they're happy to spend time on our deck and in their heated hutch in our garage. And the mom that we adopted her kittens out ended up moving to another TNR'd colony a block away.

My biggest question is have the kittens been socialized in a home yet? Them letting you love on them outside is a whole different ballgame then bringing them inside full time. We're living proof - despite 30 years in the cat shelter system & TNRing for years and years, we couldn't get them to stay in. So our your little guys good to being a house 24/7 - - and will their adopter be prepared for the challenges of bringing in kittens who've previously been considered feral? The last thing you want is to go through your stress AND momma cat's stress, only to have them returned to you. My heart breaks for you - but I'l say if you trust the adopter as someone who understands the time & patience it can take to get feral kittens to become "house cats" - getting them "off the streets" is a big plus if possible. Mom will be sad in the beginning, but cats are resilient and are relatively used to kittens "going away" (if she weren't spayed she'd be bonded to one litter, then move on to the next.....not that it makes it ANY easier emotionally). I wouldn't be surprised if another kitty came into her territory to establish a bond (and therefore be a new TNR case for you!). But in the end, if you just can't let them go or don't feel this is best for them, it's ok to not let them go as long as they have shelter (warm shelter in the winter - heated with pet heating pads if possible), fresh food, water, and your protection. Outside has huge risks - which you know I'm sure - but you have to go with your gut and your heart! You obviously care deeply for all of them - so I'm not sure there's a wrong answer.

(and attached is a pic of our remaining outside three - all are almost 13! Sookie's our "metabolically challenged" girl in the front, Aspen's the smaller grey that's our little "get off our lawn or I'll chase you" 6 lb guy, and Crosby's the black one - our big wussy male - but he's cute!)

Keep us posted on what you do. You care enough that whatever you do is right for you and them!