Cloudy

[ilovecloudy]

foxden
I am very sorry to hear about your beloved Kiki. It is the hardest decision to ever have to make.. But for the quality of life to be poor would be torture for our poor babies.. I know. What did they diagnose her with, if you don't mind my asking? Cloudy had congestive heart failure.. Took over in 6 months.. He was 13 years old.. My poor baby. I miss my baby boy too.. I miss the pur, the meow, the smile the happiness, the rubbing against me.. My heart will never be the same .. So empty. My cloudy always asked for attention at hung out on out kitchen table. Don't know if it will ever get easier.

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• ilovecloudy
• Feb 2, 2017

 

[foxden]

ilovecloudy
We never got to a diagnosis. When we got to the er, she was "shocky" and the blood work indicated her kidneys and liver were shutting down. I hoped they could stabilize her to figure out the problem, but they told me she had a doubtful outcome, even if they put her in ICU for several days. They said she had severe abdominal pain and that she had gone septic. They got her to not be in pain, and I had to walk her to the bridge. She knew me at the end and knew she was loved. I have to hold that in my mind as the last memory. I found some pictures on my phone and that helped. Posting here with all the people who understand has been a huge help this week

 

[foxden]

ilovecloudy
Dealing with the loss is a little easier each day. I might have an advantage because I have 2 half-grown kittens in the house.
I still have to take care of them, and they are looking for their big sister. They still have each other, and they mostly played together when Kiki was here. Kiki was about 13 years old. I was volunteering at a shelter when she was dropped off in a box with her 6 one-day old kittens. She was mine from that day -- she let me handle her babies and clean everything from day one. We fostered the kittens at my house until they were old enough to adopt out, and I kept Kiki. Then she joined the other 2 cats I had at that time.
She will always have a special place in my heart. I know the pain will ease over time as it has before with the other cats that have shared my life and love.
I hope you feel better soon, this does get easier eventually

 

[kingmatthewsmom]

@ IloveCloudy

You are not a murderer. You had his best interest at heart- you saved him from potential pain and suffering. Try not to dwell on the fact that he's not with us anymore, otherwise your grieving process can be agonizing. You just experienced loss, which can be traumatic. So take it day by day. Do you ever set aside time during the day to do something for yourself? Self care is important. Whether its 15 minutes out of the day to do deep breathing exercises, or carving out time to take a walk in the park, or curl up with a good book. Surrounding yourself with animal lovers helps, like volunteering at a Shelter or an animal welfare organization. 

I recently came across this guide to creating rituals to cope with grief: http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/creating-rituals-to-move-through-grief/
If its not too painful, viewing photos and videos of Cloudy can help remind you that he still lives in you heart.

Remember to breathe when you're overwhelmed by sorrow and grief. Don't let this loss consume and depress you. Cloudy lives on in your heart and in the loving times you shared together.

Warm regards,

Matty's Mom

 

[ilovecloudy]

foxden
I am so glad to hear that you are such a loving, caring human being. You took Kiki and her babies in, caring for them and then giving her a lifetime of love. My baby Cloudy was 13 years old as well. It is day 3 and I am still coming home from school and sobbing. I miss him so much my heart actually aches. It will never be the same.. Thank you for your support. I just wish I could bring my baby back

 

[ilovecloudy]

kingmatthewsmom
Thank you so much for your support.. It makes me feel better to know that maybe I am not a murderer.. I just wanted him to be happy and painless.. I hope it was the right decision. It's just so empty and quiet here.. I have never hurt like this before. I will reach out and volunteer.. As tribute to my baby boy Cloudy. He lives on in my heart, I will never forget him. He is irreplaceable. I watch and listen to a short video of him purring every day multiple times a day. I miss his smile and that pur. It's painful but I still long to see him and hear him. I miss him so terribly. My best friend is gone.. I am currently sobbing.. I will remember to breathe. Grieving is a process.. I hope it will get easier. Thank you.
Sincerely, Cloudy and Sasha

 

[les26]

I am so sorry to read this story, I as others here know what it is like to lose a cat companion especially one that you are so very close to, the pain is immense and you feel like you yourself are going to die, and quite frankly might feel like you want to, but it is all part of the grieving process, quite normal, and unfortunately the best way to feel better is to just feel that, cry your eyes out if you must, be sad and down if you must, talk about it or keep it to yourself whatever helps you, I know that talking about it helps me deal with it but my wife is opposite, she can't talk about it, but everyone is different, but do what you feel, don't hold it in, LET IT OUT, and with time, much time, you will feel better, not quite the same as before because each loss takes a piece of your heart with it but in a way that is a touching thing, but you have nothing to punish yourself about, you did nothing wrong, you have no regrets, remember the grief can come out in crazy ways! But I certainly understand, and feel badly for you but also am very impressed how well you are spoken as just a young 17 year old, and how much you cared and how big your heart is, and those are GOOD THINGS that you should be praised for!! 

You see the little fella in my avatar, the one all dressed up in his tuxedo? Click on him, and click again and again until you see the biggest picture of him, well that is Sylvester, I've had him almost a year now, and he and I saved each other. If you go to the thread "the cat's meow" and look back a few pages, you will see a story that I put on there awhile ago called something like "I'd like to tell you about my little buddy Sylvester", and for some reason if you read it I think it will make you feel a bit better, and it also tells of how 2 past boys whom I loved dearly helped Sylvester and I find each other, and my hope for you is that with time you will feel ready again to give another cat who is in need all your love like you did Cloudy, and I know that Cloudy would love for you to do that, when you are ready.

Take care of yourself, give it time, read Sylvester's story, and I hope that your young heart heals a bit each day.

God Bless........

 

 

[ilovecloudy]

Hey everyone. A few days have passed, my grief has not gotten any better. I miss my baby Cloudy so immensely. I'm sitting at work as I right this holding back tears. I just want to hold him close and hear his meow and feel his pur and beautiful fur. I'm so devasted.. My baby Cloudy. I love you

 

[bella2914]

Hi ilovecloudy,

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.  Cloudy looks like a very beautiful cat, and so much love you shared with him!

I can totally relate to just crying..and holding back tears when i am outside..it is a strange feeling..and it feels like a whole in your heart..

I too lost my cat Bella a few days ago(wednesday) and i miss her much also...

i miss my cats presence and wish to just hold her warm body and hear her sweet purring once again. The house feels sooo empty without her.  IT is the warm hugs i miss the most..

I don't know when it will get better..but i heard it will..with time.  Sending you warm thoughts, and healing and hugs on this very difficult week!  In the meantime, realise its okay to cry, its absolutely normal..because he was so loved (and is) by you. Take good care of yourself, keep reaching out to others, as it does help i think..

And when you get home, pamper yourself..rest.. lots..eat well ..to help you heal.. You were a good mommy, and he knew you loved him..

You are in good company here of ppl who understand and know your pain..and just love these little ones ! I am glad i am not alone..in this grief..and neither are you..
 

Much love Bellas mom..

 

[kittylove53]

I have found myself grieving along with all of you .It has been two weeks since Omelettes death.You can read my story here.I am so devastated.I too cry throughout the day,think that I am or will see her,listen to the silence where she used to play in,and I am really struggling with grief.Even my Tuxedo kitty Obie is having to deal with this.She was his full time playmate.I have another kitty Speewee who is also acting a little oddly.I am trying to give them extra attention and love.I too feel so very empty without her.Although this is not my first kitty death,I am so heartbroken.She was always there for me ,as your Cloudy was there for you.She was only six,I had her for only four years.It is as though the ray of sunshine in my life has been turned into eternal night.I grieve with you over your loss.Of course we are not alone with these feelings. Everyone in this thread has experienced loss of a beloved kitty.I am sending out hugs, and healing energy to you.You did the right thing to release Cloudy from his pain.He knew how much you loved him.He will be there to watch over you.No one can ever take away the love you had for him,or the many years of love he gave to you.I am trying not to cry as I am writing this to you.I am an older person,who totally understands how you feel.I hope this has helped in some way.We are not alone,we have this wonderful gathering of kitty owners to share with.Many hugs to you.

 

[millcats66]

There was a time when I wasn't a "cat person". That changed when I met my wife and her cat Taz. Taz was a very picky feline and for whatever reason, she and I became very close, in fact she actually snubbed her family for me whenever I was around. That changed my whole perception of cats.
To this day I find myself full dedicated to the appreciation, care and overall well being of every cat/kitten we absorb into our family. It just can't be helped. They bring us warmth, companionship and unconditional love. This is what makes that devastating decision to let them go so painful. They are our true friends and take up such a huge peice of real estate in our hearts. When they're gone it feels like a large hole has been left in our hearts that can never be filled, or so it seems. One things I've found after letting one of my kids go is, after the days, weeks, months of severe mourning, that hole begins to fill up with memories of the one I lost. Throughout their lives with us, they leave traces of their foot prints and love imprinted in our hearts that slowly begin to fill up that hole. It takes time and more tears but that hole does fill up. Eventually the pain fades and fond memories takes its place bringing joy to our hearts and smiles to our faces knowing that we were able to be something special in their lives and them in ours. Their physical presence is not eternal but their memories are. That, in it self is most special indeed. We were their advocates in life and we are there monument after their passing. So when you have to make that "devestating" decision please know, you have loved them deeply, have provided them the top quality life they deserved and were their unconditional companion during the great life they shared with you. Your decision is not that of "murder" or "killing", it is one of love and compassion. It shows them you love them enought to keep them from the pain and suffering they do not deserve. Relief in the end is the greatest gift we can give them even though it hurts us so much to give it.

The people on this site are truly caring, loving, companions to our four legged, furry family members, and it makes my heart swell to see the compassion and support given so freely from a group of complete strangers.

Parting thought, love your cat/kitty strong, hold them long, and cherish each day with them deeply for just as people grow old and move on, so they will too, and in the end, their memory will keep you company throughout your life time!

 

[ilovecloudy]

kittylove53

It has been almost 2 months since the passing of my dear baby boy. I still come home and sob. I kiss the box in which he is cremated and sob. The things id do to hold him, pet him, or even hear him once more. I feel empty and alone. It is not the same without him. There's a gaping hole in my heart. Sending you love and hugs over your dear Omelette. Time does not heal wounds, it just makes it easier to live with them. God bless you and your other kitties. May our dear kitties rest in bliss. We miss you very much.

 

[les26]

Those 2 months probably feel like 2 years that you have been without him, I know....When Sebastian died in my arms, it messed me up mentally, so much that I talked to my pastor and a counselor, and they both told me that it would take about 1.5 years before I would feel better about it, and they were right. It takes time, sometimes a long time, before we can deal with things a bit better, so 2 months is not long even though you feel like it is. 

I know it's easy to say "hang in there", but that is good advice, and with time you will feel differently about things; you NEVER forget, you never fully heal, but you do feel better about things, even though right now you don't think you ever will. 

Stay strong, weep if you must, laugh if you can, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and take it day by day.

God Bless.....

 

[solomonar]

I know what the physical pain is - I saw it. In humans. You can not imagine and I will never tell you, for you are to young to know and for I wish you never see.

Death is nothing comparing to the deep, prolonged physical pain.  Take my word for it.

You did what a good friend has to do. It is sad, but there is no other way.

====

Every piece of Love we get changes our souls for ever, for we will be never alone. Every human or animal we love and love us is forever part of us. And every missing cat we loved prepare us for a new encounter. Like in a never-ending stairs: each step is effort and pain, but we cannot climb the next step without stepping on the previous one. This is why Love never ends and we are greatful for this gift.

Head bow to rainbow Cloudy and my compassion to you.

 

[kittylove53]

Tomorrow it will be a month since I lost my Omelette.I  know how much your heart aches for Cloudy.I too feel very empty inside.It is so profound to feel their loss,and the missing love they gave us.She was the light in my life,and was always there when I needed her.I love my other two kitties also.My Obie misses her too. He used to play with her, and they ran around together.Even he has a broken heart.I know nothing can fill up the emptiness I feel.I would give anything to hold,hug, and smell her familiar scent again.It will take such a long time to even heal a little bit.I cry throughout the day for her.No one can take away the love we shared with these special little beings.My heart goes out to you,know that you are not alone with this deep pain.I am thinking of you, and all of us who have lost our beloved kitties.Thank you for thinking of me and Omelette.