Christmas present dilemma

[jennyr]

Originally Posted by katachtig

I keep wanting to do something like this with my in-laws, but no one seems that interested even though we all admit that we don't need anything.

I would simply do it next year, whether anyone else does or not. They may be a bit taken aback, but they will agree that it is a good idea. especially if you tailor the donation to the recipient. In our family, I started it three years ago, when I announced (well in advance) that I was not giving Christmas presents because I was in mourning for my Napoleon, asked for no-one to give to me, and instead gave the equivalent amount of money to a cat charity. Several of my relatives got on the charity bandwagon the following year, and this year it became almost the norm.

 

[carolpetunia]

Originally Posted by LDG

That was really lovely of him!

I think you should take a deep breath, pick up the phone, and call him back. Tell him you chickened out saying anything the first time, because so much thought went into it, and it made you feel SO nice that he wanted you to be able to enjoy making something you love quickly and easily.... the problem is, you two don't see each other enough, because that would be the only way he could know you don't love coffee. Take another deep breath, and keep going.... You've been in a dilemna about what to do about it, because it is SUCH a wonderful gift... but, in all honesty, you're pretty sure he'd rather you had something you wanted to use all the time - as he put it, that was the point of such a wonderful gift! You really don't want such a wonderful machine to sit in the back of the closet, only to come out when he visits. ....you really hope he's not upset, but you know he put thought and a lot of money into it, and especially these days, you didn't want it to go to waste.

Depending upon how he reacts... (which since he seems wonderful, I'm sure will be with total acceptance of the situation!)... ask him to either donate what he spent to his favorite charity - or let him know you'd rather have a new bread maker.

Everyone wins with honesty - especially when expressed with love and care.

Laurie! Get out of my head!

 

[nekkiddoglady]

I think the "gift giving" thing has gone way over-board with most people. People give gifts because they feel obligated to do so, but they put so little thought into it.

I did give a few gifts this year to close friends and family. Next year, i will probably only get stuff for my daughter (and Fred of course, he expects SOMETHING).. I did give a few inexpensive gifts this year- but it was gifts I knew the person would like. My brother got a box of cereal from me. It was partially a gag gift- our one grandma used to give us odds and ends every year, including a box of our favorite cereal, and he thought that was the best thing ever.

One year, me and my *now ex* husband were tight on finances and just decided that we would only buy gifts for kids - my younger cousin, and his neice and nephews. My MIL, who just goes completely over board with Christmas- just had a complete FIT about that idea! "BUT ITS CHRISTMAS!" and she started pulling out some cheap crap that she picked up god-knows-where for me to use as gifts. She has been notorious for buying gifts for herself, wrapping them, and then putting that they are from me or her son.. she's also bought gifts for my ex, and put they were from me, or got gifts for me, but put that they were from my ex. It was just pure insanity. My thought is "excuse me, If Im going to get a gift for someone, Im more than capable of buying it, wrapping it, and labelling it MYSELF".