I have a question for you guys. This is very personal and I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible.
1.5 years ago, there was an incident involving my daughter at the daycare. All 3 kids were 4/5. This little boy who we will call "Boy 1" told her about a cool spider web and asked her if she wanted to see it. She said yes and they went there. I guess another boy followed (Boy 2). "Boy 1" then pulls my daughter's pants down and then pulls her panties down (they didn't come down with the pants), he touches her on her butt crack and tells "Boy 2" to do it too.
My daughter said she tried to kick the "Boy 1", missed and ran to the teacher and told her what happened.
When I picked up my daughter, they told me nothing except that "a boy TRIED to pull her pants down". The teacher seemed pretty upset though but I remember all the times the boys lifted my dresses and didn't think anything of it.
I'm driving home and I keep thinking about how upset she was and I asked my daughter "what happened today". She then tells me the story above as I told it to you guys. I flipped out. I called the daycare right away and asked for an explanation and to also tell them that this is what my daughter was saying.
We asked her several times what happened and she was very clear on what happened.
My husband and I were livid. How can this happen and no one see it happening and why did they not tell me when I picked my daughter up? We talk to the director of the daycare and she keeps putting it off to "child curiosity" and that this is "normal".
We went around and around with this woman and she never told us what to do, who to call etc. She even told us that "sometimes children get isolated on the playground". WHAT?
They wouldn't even put him in another room but they did make sure that they never spoke or interacted. That wasn't good enough. After talking to our daughter and asking her what her feelings were, we demanded she be moved to another room so she got moved to the class above. She already knew the children since they have playground time together and we made sure we asked her what she wanted to do.
She wet her bed every single day and we had to hold her all the time. She still talks about it and every time she gets a new teacher/class, she doesn't want to go because she doesn't want a mean boy to do what "Boy 1" did to her.
My husband and I went to talk to a counselor without daughter and then we took her in at a later date and the counselor talked to her alone. I have no idea what happened. I asked for the records but they have no mention of her assessment with the 1 on 1 time.
So what I want to know is this: Is this normal behavior? I don't think it is at all.
I'm asking now because I just got a note from the school about a seminar thing they are having next week about "Protecting your child" including topics like "proactive steps to protect your child", "what to do if you think something has happened" ...
The guests include "Child Abuse Network", "Department of Child Services", "Family and Children's services", Police....
I had called DHS (department of child services) after 2 months of not knowing who to call. No one knew who I should call, what I should do and I was totally lost. Not even the psychologist knew.
They determined "no lack of supervision". They jsut talked to me but they also didn't give me any info.
So what is making me all livid again is this: DHS is one of the participants and yet, the daycare which was DHS rated didn't tell me what to do.
I am thinking of going and asking "shouldn't a DHS rated daycare be able to tell me who I need to contact, what the steps are?"
And while I know that this isn't the worse thing that has happened to a child it still makes me mad. My husband thinks they could have prevented the whole thing. Maybe so but the part that makes me mad is the obvious cover up that came afterwards, the lack of concern for my child, the lack of information.
I tried to make this short..sorry!
1.5 years ago, there was an incident involving my daughter at the daycare. All 3 kids were 4/5. This little boy who we will call "Boy 1" told her about a cool spider web and asked her if she wanted to see it. She said yes and they went there. I guess another boy followed (Boy 2). "Boy 1" then pulls my daughter's pants down and then pulls her panties down (they didn't come down with the pants), he touches her on her butt crack and tells "Boy 2" to do it too.
My daughter said she tried to kick the "Boy 1", missed and ran to the teacher and told her what happened.
When I picked up my daughter, they told me nothing except that "a boy TRIED to pull her pants down". The teacher seemed pretty upset though but I remember all the times the boys lifted my dresses and didn't think anything of it.
I'm driving home and I keep thinking about how upset she was and I asked my daughter "what happened today". She then tells me the story above as I told it to you guys. I flipped out. I called the daycare right away and asked for an explanation and to also tell them that this is what my daughter was saying.
We asked her several times what happened and she was very clear on what happened.
My husband and I were livid. How can this happen and no one see it happening and why did they not tell me when I picked my daughter up? We talk to the director of the daycare and she keeps putting it off to "child curiosity" and that this is "normal".
We went around and around with this woman and she never told us what to do, who to call etc. She even told us that "sometimes children get isolated on the playground". WHAT?
They wouldn't even put him in another room but they did make sure that they never spoke or interacted. That wasn't good enough. After talking to our daughter and asking her what her feelings were, we demanded she be moved to another room so she got moved to the class above. She already knew the children since they have playground time together and we made sure we asked her what she wanted to do.
She wet her bed every single day and we had to hold her all the time. She still talks about it and every time she gets a new teacher/class, she doesn't want to go because she doesn't want a mean boy to do what "Boy 1" did to her.
My husband and I went to talk to a counselor without daughter and then we took her in at a later date and the counselor talked to her alone. I have no idea what happened. I asked for the records but they have no mention of her assessment with the 1 on 1 time.
So what I want to know is this: Is this normal behavior? I don't think it is at all.
I'm asking now because I just got a note from the school about a seminar thing they are having next week about "Protecting your child" including topics like "proactive steps to protect your child", "what to do if you think something has happened" ...
The guests include "Child Abuse Network", "Department of Child Services", "Family and Children's services", Police....
I had called DHS (department of child services) after 2 months of not knowing who to call. No one knew who I should call, what I should do and I was totally lost. Not even the psychologist knew.
They determined "no lack of supervision". They jsut talked to me but they also didn't give me any info.
So what is making me all livid again is this: DHS is one of the participants and yet, the daycare which was DHS rated didn't tell me what to do.
I am thinking of going and asking "shouldn't a DHS rated daycare be able to tell me who I need to contact, what the steps are?"
And while I know that this isn't the worse thing that has happened to a child it still makes me mad. My husband thinks they could have prevented the whole thing. Maybe so but the part that makes me mad is the obvious cover up that came afterwards, the lack of concern for my child, the lack of information.
I tried to make this short..sorry!