Change in behavior because of cruelty

[sena]

SORRY THIS IS LONG!! We had a cat show up on our doorstep, and when he didn't leave for 10 hours and I didn't want him to stay outside that night because it was bloody cold. Anyways, no one claimed him in the 5 or so weeks we have had him. We even checked for a chip with the vet, but were told he did not have one and was a "young intact male". He is now around 7-8 months old. SWEETEST CAT EVER. I have to be honest, I'm more of a dog person. But I love this cat. He purrs so much, his "mew" is so soft, and he would be the happiest cat on earth if he could lay on your lap. Forever.





We already have a cat however who still refuses to let us keep him. So, he has the master bedroom, and exercises in the whole house daily with our cat in the second bedroom. And, it works. Well... Worked. Currently my brother and his children are living with us. They have the master bedroom set up for them, and so he has company every day when he is in there. We did have a rule set because my niece played rough with him (and lied to me what she really did)... I heard a THUD against the wall then the cat crying at the door to be let out. The rule was "not alone with the cats, and leave them alone". 





Let him out to exercise recently. He's bitten me, scratched me, tried to even go for my face! When he wanders around he tries to find places to hide, he is skittish, and I don't even feel safe with him near my 11 month old daughter. When it came time to put him back in the room, he purred until we got to the door and he pushed himself into me, his purring clicked off, sunk his teeth into my hand and refused to let go! I literally felt the tension he held inside. 





So, obviously he was scared. Stressed, frustrated, scared, angry. Taking it out on the whole world because he feels so damn miserable. I asked my nephew what the heck happened. Apparently my niece tried to throw him over the TV, but didn't "do it right" because he ended up smacking his back legs on the TV. Then she has gone to grab the scruff, but grabbed the skin lower on his back causing him visible pain. Have set the rule of "not without adult supervision". Thankfully it is less than a week before they are out of my house. 





But I'm afraid that the damage is done... I've NEVER had to deal with anything like this. No, this isn't the first time she's abused cats... Or, animals in general. Thank god she is in counselling because after this she is not allowed to set a foot in my house. She's caused my parent's dog to become snippy with children, forced her family to rehome a cat due to her cruelty (which he is now content in a home with a sweet little girl who loves him to pieces), caused mental trauma to her step-mom's cat, who is skittish around the baby and refuses to set foot in the room she used to sleep in... I'm sorry this is so long, but I really need help with the cat... what can I do?? After they leave I intend to literally clean every surface of this house, even if it means repainting and all, just to purge this place of the horrible things that have caused this cat so much anguish. He targets females, which scares me because of my 11 month old daughter... Who is so great with "her kitty" and him, but currently his behavior...





The home we have lined up for him, has an autistic daughter who would adore him for the rest of his life. Before he was perfect for her, and would be WONDERFUL!! But now...? Now I can't let him go anywhere until he is mentally and physically sound. For their sake, and definitely for his sake. Please! If anyone has tricks or tips up their sleeves, share with me so I can help him out He shouldn't have to feel this way. EVER!!

KITTY3.JPG

• sena
• Jan 6, 2015

 

[micknsnicks2mom]

@sena -- hi and welcome to TCS!

i'm going to see if i can attract the attention of a couple members with much experience with kittens and rescuing, as i don't have experience in this area.

@catwoman707, @Red Top Rescue -- may i ask for your expertise for the OP (original poster)?

 

[sena]

Thanks! Really hoping someone can help.

 

[micknsnicks2mom]

 
Thanks! Really hoping someone can help.

i'm sure someone here will be able to help. i'll check back to make sure you've gotten replies from members with experience in this area.

 

[sivyaleah]

Has he been neutered yet?

 

[horatiothecat]

When a cat losses confindence in humans it takes patience and effort to get him as he used to be, it takes a calm and peaceful environment and you have to show your cat that you love so much with attentions feeding him and trying to pet him little by little, love, patience and time mate.

 

[sena]

He is on schedule to be neutered. But he needs shots first since we have no idea if he had them before. The vets here demand 2 rounds of shots first then allow the animal to be fixed. I know that would help, and i don't even intend to rehome him until he is fixed.

 

[sivyaleah]

He is on schedule to be neutered. But he needs shots first since we have no idea if he had them before. The vets here demand 2 rounds of shots first then allow the animal to be fixed. I know that would help, and i don't even intend to rehome him until he is fixed.

This could be contributing to the problem.  He's the right age to start feeling his oats.  I'm sure you already are aware male cats can become increasingly aggressive and other behavior issues if not fixed.  If you intend to keep him, or even re-home him it would be a good idea to bite the bullet sooner than later on vaccinating him so he can be neutered.

 

[sena]

Well thankfully i am no longer the only income so that is achievable lol. We weren't expecting cats to show up on our doorstep... we already called in the overflowing cat sanctuary for a female cat we thought was pregnant (tumors in her uterus...). I know that just with the short time that's contributed this paired with him being unfixed is going to take quite a bit of time... it's just too bad it is so dang costly to get cats and dogs fixed!! I spent nearly 1000 including vaccinations on a rescue dog before rehoming, last year.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Are there any other options for getting him neutered sooner?  I know the shelters in my state offer free and discounted appointments in January in an effort to slow the upcoming kitten season.  My thought is that his hormonal changes may be exacerbating everything.  

 
When a cat losses confindence in humans it takes patience and effort to get him as he used to be, it takes a calm and peaceful environment 

I agree with this.  Positive reinforcement may be one of your best tools here.  Perhaps feed him right after his free time in the house; so going back to the master bedroom is a positive experience.  Time and patience will help a lot.  Multi-family homes create unique challenges but it sounds to me like you are doing everything you can to help the lil guy.  

Please keep us updated! 

 

[vbcatparent]

I live with a rescue that survived abuse. It takes time but they can recover. I don't have any specific/clinical advice in this area, but I would suggest that you spend time with him in the bedroom. Sit calmly on the floor with him in there, lots of petting and kissing, and if possible give him food in there.

 

[catwoman707]

You've still got them including your cruel niece for another week correct?

Obviously she is not allowed anywhere NEAR your animals.

What's wrong with her treating them so awful anyway? Gosh, scary for her future......

I strongly suggest NOT keeping him in the room where he was abused.

Maybe do some rethinking on this, switching bedrooms, something.

You want the memory of this incident to fade asap so he can get back to his normal trusting ways.

Poor guy

In time he will go back to himself. Treated with gentleness and patience, it won't take long, he's young. 

And most definitely want to neuter his butt as soon as possible.

 

[sena]

Sadly, yes. She has already gotten herself banished from being anywhere near my reptiles because my bearded dragon ended up refusing to eat and had parasites... Later found out he was being stressed out by my niece banging on the enclosure's glass!! We've been hounding her for a while about treating pets nicely. Honestly if this behavior was dealt with appropriately years ago, we wouldn't be in this situation!! But, the past is the past and cannot be changed.

He is in the bathroom during the nights now, which tonight he seems a little more relaxed. Obviously doesn't quite like the lonely small space... But he wasn't trying to eat my face :lol3: But I now believe he needs a physical exam... I just assumed his hips were his "sweet spot" when we brought him in, but now he really doesn't like any pressure on them. Might be aggravated from being tossed "over" the TV!! He curled up in my lap, but started to nip at my hand when I was petting his side/hip. Holding him I noticed a similar reaction. So now, I may be dealing with more damage than I thought!

 

[Anne]

Poor baby. I'm glad he has you to care for him though. I agree you have to get him neutered asap. Intact males need a huge territory - ten times larger than that required by a neutered male. Keeping them indoors is much safer for them, but also causes confinement-related stress. 

Here's a link to our article about reducing stress in cats -

Six Surefire Strategies to Reduce Stress in Cats

I think you should definitely set up interactive playtime sessions with him. I agree with @catwoman707   about keeping him away from the scene of the crime for a while. You may be able to get him to enjoy that room sometime in the future, possibly working with plenty of interactive play, treats and other forums of positive re-enforcement there.

 

[tabbysia]

I'm sorry, but your niece sounds like a horrible child! I would make a "no contact at all" rule with your pets instead of "not without adult supervision." Hopefully, your niece wil continue to get the help that she needs so that she will not be seriously injuring younger children (such as your daughter) in the future.

I put my cats in my bedroom and lock the door when my sister brings her children over and firmly refuse to allow them access, no matter how much everyone whines. Their father encourages the youngest child to be mean to cats because he does not like them himself. One of the older children threw one of their cats off a two-story balcony when he was younger. My sister disciplined him, but his father laughed and told him "good job" when he got home. Fortunately, those cats have been rehomed.

It sounds like the kitty does need a full medical exam and x-rays to see what is wrong with his hips. An injury can make a sweet cat turn aggressive. I would make your sister pay the vet bills, and honestly I would have thrown her family out of my house the day the incident happened. I guess you are nicer than me!

 

[sena]

Oops should have made it more clear... She isn't allowed in the same room as the cats without adult supervision, but isn't allowed to touch them at all. They have until the end of the week to get out... they were supposed to be gone already. I've had to teach my daughter about petting the cats nicely, which she has learned since she was aware of them. My niece is seeing someone for her behavior overall, and this morning I had a talk with her explaining that the cat needs a vet check asap because of what happened. (I don't expect her to listen whatsoever, it didn't get through to her before why would it now?). Once they are moved out she isn't allowed to set foot in my house.

My brother (not sister lol ) wouldn't pay or help pay for the bill. I already know that - because it isn't "his fault". In other words i have to handle the consequences of their actions. I outright told my niece that if i ever caught her hurting (or killing) an animal, I would be the one sending her to juvi or jail, and ensuring that she cannot have animals legally.

 

[sena]

I think I will leave him in the bathroom not the bedroom,, but of course allow him out and about for exercise. See if that helps while they are still here. If she needs the washroom, the cat must be brought out.

 

[jtbo]

Oops should have made it more clear... She isn't allowed in the same room as the cats without adult supervision, but isn't allowed to touch them at all. They have until the end of the week to get out... they were supposed to be gone already. I've had to teach my daughter about petting the cats nicely, which she has learned since she was aware of them. My niece is seeing someone for her behavior overall, and this morning I had a talk with her explaining that the cat needs a vet check asap because of what happened. (I don't expect her to listen whatsoever, it didn't get through to her before why would it now?). Once they are moved out she isn't allowed to set foot in my house.

My brother (not sister lol ) wouldn't pay or help pay for the bill. I already know that - because it isn't "his fault". In other words i have to handle the consequences of their actions. I outright told my niece that if i ever caught her hurting (or killing) an animal, I would be the one sending her to juvi or jail, and ensuring that she cannot have animals legally.

How it is not his fault if he is responsible from the child? He really should carry the responsibilities he has, but it is true that few does so these days.

Can you keep cat in some single room for remaining time? Something which would be own space for the cat is very helpful and sometimes even quite small space is enough. If he hides, let him hide, under the sofa might be good own space and he could take care of dust bunnies too

Own space should be such that you or now one else touches or reaches him there, something which he can feel being place that is out of reach by humans.

I have one quite shy cat and for him such place is cat bed installed near ceiling, sometimes he runs there middle of petting as something invisible spooks him, then I see just two huge black circles and two pink triangles peeking over the edge of the bed, until he kind of recharges his batteries and comes throttling back to lap, that works quite well for us, but of course it might not work for all.

All of mine were very vocal before vet did spaying and neutering, they still are vocal at times, but it is not constant concert, also there is no fighting between cats anymore, only play fights, so it does help a lot, but it takes some weeks to really settle.

 

[stewball]

How old is this child and what will you do if your brother refuses to movem

 

[vbcatparent]

These are the times when you use tough love and say they're not welcome back. Sucks to be them the next time they get themselves evicted, but it is what it is. Everyone who lives in your house (human or otherwise) is depending on you to protect them, and family doesn't have carte blanche to hurt them. If that is the best your brother can do, I'd make it clear he is not allowed back, even with his daughter in counseling. I'd wager the counseling is to prevent the girl from getting them evicted any more, and not because brother really feels bad.

Time to get some thick skin and keep them out from now on.