Cat soothing scent?

[firehawk]

First time cat owner... And I love this website. I love your valuable help!!!

After my cat has been disaplined, he hates me.
I'm out of state for a couple of weeks or so, in hopes it will help but was wondering if there is such a thing I can wear some kind of cat soothing scent so he comes back to me as to show I'm not a threat?

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi
He doesn't hate you, cats aren't wired to think that way.

How about catnip?

 

[Kieka]

Catnip and silvervine both are cat favorites. Feliway spray would be the other thing that might help improve mood.

As to "Disciplined"? Cats don't understand somethings in the same way dogs will. Discipline is one of them. If your cat is hating you after discipline you are likely doing it wrong and causing resentment instead of understanding. The best way to discipline a cat is to ignore them. For example, if my cat is on the counter he gets a sharp "no" plus taken off the table and pointedly ignored for a few minutes.

In this case, preventing the bad feelings might be better then trying to mend things after. If you'd like some tips... What are you trying to discipline for and how?

 

[firehawk]

He has catnip treats but still doesn't come to me. Runs away sometimes. Doesn't let me pet him.

I took him off the countertop a few times and sprayed water in his direction. This incident happened more than 3 times. He is 4 months old.

 

[Furballsmom]

Have you stopped spraying water? Try putting loose catnip, or catnip spray on your shoes and hands.

 

[Kieka]

Stop with the water bottle and work on rebuilding the relationship. That means being a source of good things: toys, treats, pets. If he gets on the counter you do a sharp "no" followed by a removal from the counter and ignore his existence for about 30 seconds. Then act like nothing happened. Repeat frequently until he gets the message that counters aren't allowed. It does take longer with kittens but eventually they get the idea. You can also offer cat safe spaces (think cat tree) that give an elevated position as an alternative to counters.

If you have anything else that you have used a water bottle for its much the same. A sharp "no" and disapproval in the form of removing from situation and ignoring for 30-60 seconds. I've pointedly turned away if the cat in question looks at me or tries to get my attention in the time period. And repeated attempts get repeated no and ignoring until it sinks in.

 

[maggie101]

There are numerous cat articles to read. No spray bottle. I hiss at my cat or tell her to get down. No yelling. His personality will change as he gets older. Is he
neutered? Cats love wand toys,scratch post vertice or square. How long have you had him? Cats favorite spot to be scratched is below the ear. It is possible he has not adjusted. Anyone/anything taller than him is a threat so take it slow. Can you get on your knees? Is he inside only?

 

[arr]

Congratulations on becoming a cat owner! They are the most beautiful, wonderful, intelligent creatures.

It’s really important to understand why cats do the things they do, to learn to think like a cat. Cats are naturally very curious. They want to explore every inch of their territory. They are also natural climbers and most cats love high up places. They are usually food motivated so if they smell something good, they want to find it. They also love to see what their humans are doing. So it’s very clear why a cat would get up on the counter. They aren’t actually doing anything wrong, they are just being a cat. We as humans just don’t like it. If you think about it, since they aren’t doing anything wrong, it is quite an accomplishment to get a cat to decide they just won’t go in a certain part of their own territory.

You can’t discipline a cat. They are just engaging in their natural behaviors. What you can do is deter and discourage them from doing something, and then provide an alternative. For every no, you need to offer a yes. So to discourage counter surfing, you can clap, say no, use compressed air cans like Ssscat, cover the counter with an undesirable substance, etc. Then you need to offer a yes, preferably near the kitchen, a cat tree, a table or bench just for them, a window, something that allows them to get up high, see what’s going on, be a part of the action of the family. Bring them to that spot, praise them, offer them treats when they are there. They will soon learn that good things happen in that spot.

The spray bottle will just teach your cat not to get on the counter when you are looking, and they will associate the bottle with you, not with the action of getting on the counter. It sounds like that is already happening with your kitten. I’ll be honest, I have used a spray bottle before for certain things, and one of my cats honestly couldn’t care less. It’s just a game for her. But one of my other cats was so scared and upset the one time I used it, I realized she is too sensitive for that and I would never do it again. Since then I have learned much better methods and that there is really no need for discipline, just discourage and then positive reinforcement. I learned so much from watching Jackson Galaxy videos, reading his books, and reading on this site.

 

[firehawk]

- have had the kitten for 2 months
- yes I stopped the spraying
- he got neutered last month and acted like nothing ever happened
- since I'm away for a couple of weeks or so, was thinking maybe it will calm him down and or miss me...
- I give him catnip treats and he takes it but then still won't let me pet him even behind the ear. Squirms out of it so I stop
- only time he let's me pet him is when he is just waking up from his nap

Thought maybe I can apply some kind of warm welcoming scent on me so he will come to me.

 

[D_H]

Two months is not a long time.
I think you should give him more time - and space - to get used to you, to KNOW you better (cat style).
Don't give him treats just to please him, do it to encourage good behavior.
He let you pet him? Treat
He comes when you call him? Treat
And so on

Do you have someone to take care of him during those weeks you'll be away?

 

[di and bob]

He is still just a baby. he has WAY too much energy for things like sitting still for petting. That will come when he is older. Dogs are pack animals and their instinct is to obey the alpha. Physical discipline works on them. Cats are NOT that way. They are way too independent. Disciplining cats is more of a mind game of making them think they want it the way you are thinking. They really don't listen unless they get their way. You have to make them think what you want IS their way. my cats have one place to get up on the counter and don't venture anywhere else. You could get a stool to see if your kitten would be happy with that. Physical punishment, such as spraying and slapping, just makes them afraid of you. Just keep on taking him off the counter, saying NO loudly or hissing. If he persists, get some clear plastic carpet protector with the little nubs on the back and place it nub side up where you don't want him to go. the nubs will hurt his feet (make it uncomfortable, they are not sharp enough to cut) and he will stop going there. It is easily removable and you can cut it to fit. He is just learning, and so are you. He will outgrow all his antics in time with your guidance.

 

[danteshuman]

He doesn’t hate you, he is scared of you. Try catnip spray on your sweater or feliway.

At 4 months you are not going to train them to well. Cat discipline works best by changing the environment. I would try motion activated air canister that blow a puff of air. I would try that and giving him a cat tree or chair to sit on, so he can observe you in the kitchen from up high.

 

[firehawk]

So I built him a cat tree and he does use it from time to time.
Before the spray... he would always let me pet him or for him to come to me. Now he doesn't and squirms or runs from me.
The other half is looking after the cat and is always there while I am away every so often.

We told him NO a good few Stern times but doesn't respond so resorted to the spray bottle ...

He will take the catnip treat but won't let me touch him.

And in general ... he never responds to his name LOL

 

[D_H]

We've got our cats when they were 3-4 months old. Each one and her personality;

One of them wouldn't respond to her name for several months. At firstwe thoughtshe just didn'tunderstand that's her name. But After a while we noticed her ears are moving when we called her, but no other response.
That's when we realized she knows thats her name, and she understands that we're calling her - she just prefer to ignore us

Again, give him time - and lots of space, and I'm sure he'll come around

 

[game misconduct]

you can wear the same shirt/socks several weeks straight before leaving then leave those items home with him when you leave so he has your stinky/ sweaty stench there with him to keep him company. the teaching to not do bad can take a while cats are pretty good at reading off your tone of voice and are aware if they do bad atleast graycie is that said you also must be able to forgive fast and know when they are telling you sorry graycie will come up to me to smash her nose against my hand to be petted after she gets in trouble and flop down by me especially when she got in trouble with gf

 

[danteshuman]

Try sitting down and reading out loud with a wand toy next to you.

I think you should buy some yummy treats and give him some. Then call his name and shake the treats. Repeat a couple times every day. Soon he will learn his name = cuddles, treats and play!

I would suggest clicker training & lots of play as a way to bond with him.

Training: things that happen whether you are home and awake or not work best. That is why things like the sscat and sticky tape work so much better! Just remember to give him a yes for every no. I look at cat training as gentle annoyance not punishment.

 

[maggie101]

Try sitting down and reading out loud with a wand toy next to you.

I think you should buy some yummy treats and give him some. Then call his name and shake the treats. Repeat a couple times every day. Soon he will learn his name = cuddles, treats and play!

I would suggest clicker training & lots of play as a way to bond with him.

Training: things that happen whether you are home and awake or not work best. That is why things like the sscat and sticky tape work so much better! Just remember to give him a yes for every no. I look at cat training as gentle annoyance not punishment.

My cat peaches loves to hear me sing and certain songs. I live alone so no one can hear me.

 

[Cyantaiga]

It sounds to me like you’re trying to force interaction that the kitten just isn’t interested in. Generally speaking, the best way to bond with a cat is to just let the cat come to you. I’ve often found that the more I ignore a cat, the more that cat is actually interested in me. So just chill while you’re near him - read a book, play on your phone, whatever. Eventually he’ll wander over to see why you seem to be ignoring him. Just be careful not to do anything too sudden/loud if it’s not necessary, and follow the cat’s lead - offer your hand to let him sniff or nuzzle, but don’t try to pet him first (and definitely don’t try to start petting him at the top of his head - your hand is huge compared to him, and something like that coming down on him is likely gonna freak him out; keep your hand palm up and let him initiate contact).

I personally wouldn’t recommend trying to wear a new scent - the cat knows your scent, and if you try to change that, it may just make him more anxious and even less willing to approach you.

As for disciplining a cat…it’s not easy. Cats are incredibly smart and also incredibly stubborn. It’s possible that your kitten is trying to tell you that he really didn’t like the spray bottle, and is trying to “punish” you by ignoring you, and your repeated attempts at reconciliation are only prolonging your “time out.” You need to give him his space to forgive you, and let him tell you when he’s ready to be friends again. In the future, try not to resort to the spray bottle. There are a number of steps you can take before that, and while it may take a while for your kitten to get the picture, it’s a lot more effective in the long run:
1) Deny access. This is an obvious one, but it’s not always possible or consistent, and sometimes we just need to be reminded that the easiest way to keep a cat from getting at something is to put that something away.
2) Remove temptation. If the cat learns that there’s nothing interesting on the counters, he’ll likely stop trying to get up on them. It can be a challenge to remember to keep the sink emptied or covered, and to put away things like spice jars, but the more often the cat finds nothing of interest up there, the less interested he’ll be in going up there in the first place.
3) Redirect. If the cat jumps onto the counter while you’re doing something up there, say “no” and move him to a chair nearby. If he jumps onto the entertainment center, say “no” and move him to his cat tree. If he starts batting around something he shouldn’t, say “no,” remove the object, and give him an appropriate toy instead. Eventually he’ll learn that “no” means he needs to redirect - that doesn’t always mean he’ll listen, of course, because again, cats are incredibly stubborn, but there will be an understanding.

Save the loud noises for things you absolutely need to scare him out of doing. In the first year of having my cat, he jumped up onto the stove - it was off, thankfully, but it scared me enough that my loud and panicked “NO” scared him enough that he’s never attempted it again. But it’s not good to resort to scaring a cat out of its behaviors - better to just teach them that there’s no benefit they can get from it that they can’t get in a more acceptable way.

 

[firehawk]

Thank you all.
I'm definitely not trying to force him to allow me to pet him...it's just hard. He used to come to me and let me pet him.
Now... nothing. Just hurts. It's sad.

 

[danteshuman]

Also when he gets on your lap, don’t pet him. Let him have your lap for at least a half hour. It is a great way to create lap cats! My cat is sleeping on my lap atm and I haven’t touched him.... just let him be for 45 minutes. I let him tell me when he wants cuddles and when he wants to use me as a heated bed. He is a total snuggle bug.

Right now I would only work on bonding with your cat not training him. You can start training him in a month or two.