Cat scares his sister but doesn't mean to

[rewboss]

This may be a complicated tale, but I want to get the facts straight if I can, so please bear with me.

Bonnie and Clyde are brother and sister European shorthairs, about eighteen months old. They both have free run of the house and can go outside whenever they please. Clyde is not particularly big compared to most cats, but is quite muscular and (and this is the problem) doesn't know his own strength. Bonnie is more intelligent, but also much smaller.

Initially, the two were inseparable, but grew apart somewhat -- this disappointed us, but things didn't seem especially bad. Clyde adored -- and still adores -- Bonnie, but Bonnie has been less tolerant of him and would frequently growl or hiss at him to back off if he came too close. Although oddly they would often eat out of the same dish without any problem.

That changed a week ago, when Clyde attacked Bonnie as if he didn't recognise her, and chased her out of the house. He then gave Bonnie's favourite sleeping place a good sniff, so I think Bonnie must have come home smelling of something that set Clyde off.

Since then, Clyde hasn't tried to attack Bonnie; on the contrary, he still adores her and just wants her company. Unfortunately, this incident scared Bonnie so much, she's even more nervous of him than before, and is staying away sometimes for 24 hours at a time, coming home to eat and perhaps sleep if she thinks she can get some peace.

Sometimes things seem to be improving; just two days ago, I had them both in the same room and feeding them their favourite treat, and that went without incident. Other times, Bonnie bolts as soon as she sees Clyde, and unfortunately Clyde will then lumber after her with no malicious intent at all, but this just spooks her even more. This then upsets Clyde, who simply doesn't understand why this is happening, and the whole thing seems to be making him depressed.

We have one advantage at the moment. The way our house is built, we can close off access to the stairwell. In practice, this means we can have Bonnie upstairs and Clyde downstairs, and arrange for either one of them (but not both at the same time) to also have access to outdoors (they have access through the cellar). However, we're in the process of buying some land elsewhere and are going to build a house on it which we will be moving into spring or summer next year, and that option won't be available to us any more.

I would really like to know what we can do about this. We have two very upset cats, one of which is also extremely rattled, and we're not exactly finding it easy. I'm not convinced that Bach flower remedies are the miracle cure my wife hopes they will be, but what can we do to a) calm Bonnie down and restore her trust in Clyde, and b) get Clyde to stop running after her all the time?

 

[kittehtime]

it sounds like clyde mostly just wants to play...except for chasing her out of the house, that sounds mean. maybe she came home smelling of a male cat?

 

[rewboss]

Yes, Clyde doesn't have any malicious intent towards Bonnie that we're aware of. But he's big and clumsy and not too bright, and doesn't seem able to take the hint. Sometimes he'll sit and stay when Bonnie growls at him, but won't move away; and if she bolts, he'll run after her and come back all depressed when she gives him the slip.

Smelling of male cat is the theory we're working on to explain last week's incident -- either that or pine marten. There is a new tom in the area: we can't tell if he's neutered or not, but he is making our cats jumpy, and in fact we believe that tom and Bonnie have had at least one actual fight. Whether that's the root cause of the problem or something that is just exacerbating it, we really can't say.

Also, Clyde's started scratching the furniture, which I understand is a sign of stress.

 

[jcat]

It would probably be worth your while to try Feliway diffusers upstairs and down. They're pricey, but will last about a month, and you can buy refills. Your vet might sell them, too, so check the price out there. You can use them in addition to the Bachblüten without worrying about adverse interactions.

If you do try the Bach remedies, make sure you get the ones without alcohol. If the chemist's doesn't have them, they can order them.

 

[rewboss]

Ah, in fact I'm glad you mentioned Feliway, because that is one thing my wife has been talking about. If anyone wants to share their experiences with it, please do. I understand it uses pheremones and such to reduce stress -- will that be enough, do you think?

Re Bach remedies and alcohol: That's the problem we ran into. First attempt, chemist gave my wife a preparation in alcohol, and my wife had to do a read-my-lips spiel: "It-is-for-our-cats. No-al-co-hol." Second attempt, it was in acetic acid (assistant: "How do you know they won't like it?").

 

[rafm]

Have both cats been fixed?

 

[rewboss]

Originally Posted by RAFM

Have both cats been fixed?

Yes.

In fact, the only other time Clyde attacked Bonnie was after the surgery. It was fine until Bonnie peed and Clyde caught a whiff, then sniffed her backside, then unleashed himself. We had to separate them until whatever it was had worked its way through Bonnie's system. That, though, was over pretty quickly and we had a few more months of peace and harmony.

 

[jcat]

You can get the Bachblüten for pets online, for example here: Original Bachblüten für Heimtiere Some independent pet shops have them, too; I'm not sure about Fressnapf, but I doubt it.

We use Feliway for our very hyper/aggressive male cat, Jamie, when we have (overnight) visitors or are going away on vacation, and it really chills him out. Other TCS members have used it when introducing new feline family members, to put a stop to aggression, or (the spray) to calm cats before and during vet visits.

 

[rewboss]

Yes, I've looking around the forums, and Feliway does seem to be highly recommended for all sorts of things.

Anything else, though? I'd like to believe you can just plug it in and let it solve all your problems, but it can't be that simple, can it? What should we be doing as regards keeping them apart or getting them back together? Is it going to be like introducing a new cat to the household? And once they get outside, do the calming effects linger?

 

[rewboss]

Update:

After a day and a night on the tiles, save for what could only have been a couple of hours at home, Bonnie slipped in and made for her favourite bed upstairs. We closed the door (I have my office up here so she wasn't abandoned), and she slept for most of the day. She's just gone out, and encountered Clyde in the garden. There was, though, no hissing or growling, although Bonnie clearly didn't want anything to do with Clyde. Clyde did follow her for a while, but didn't come too close and didn't follow her over the wall.

That's a vast improvement. My wife says that exhaustion was obviously making Bonnie more nervous.

Even so, we still have some way to go. In particular, Clyde tends to keep watch, and one of his favourite spots is right by the cats' secret entrance. If Bonnie is too intimidated to approach him, that's going to be a problem.

 

[rewboss]

Well, it looks as if there's been a territorial dispute, and I'm not sure if it's settled yet. It seems that Bonnie has the little room up here and, as far as I can tell, a neighbour's garden; Clyde has the big room up here, the living room downstairs and our garden, which is a pain for Bonnie because she has to cross it to get in and out. At least Bonnie isn't being intimidated quite as badly as she was.

My wife came home with something similar to Feliway -- it's called "Catitude" (oh, how I laughed). Turns out that around here at least, Feliway is only sold by vets. The main difference is that Catitude has to be refilled after a week.

Now, if we could just get Bonnie and Clyde to share the garden again, we'll be well on the way to normality. If somebody happens to know how that could be done...

 

[jcat]

If that doesn't work, you could order the Feliway from zooplus.de (I posted the link earlier). They deliver quickly and are reasonably priced, especially when you consider that Feliway lasts four weeks. Some people say the Catitude is just as good, while others say it had no effect on their cats. It probably depends on the cat.

Can you let the cats out at different times and reintroduce them indoors?

 

[rewboss]

Originally Posted by jcat

Can you let the cats out at different times and reintroduce them indoors?

In theory, although when they meet indoors, they're often okay bar a little growling and hissing from Bonnie, which is where we were before this all started. The biggest problem is that Clyde now sees himself as a guard cat, and has taken to patrolling the garden and standing guard on the patio or at the front door. It's sweet, but he's getting obsessive about it and really doesn't like being hauled indoors unless he's hungry or dropping from exhaustion, and this seems to be making Bonnie nervous about coming indoors.

I'm beginning to think that the appearance of this strange tomcat has awoken some kind of territorial instinct in Clyde, and Bonnie is having a hard time adjusting to that... something like that, anyhow.

 

[rewboss]

Well, Bonnie hasn't been home now for 26 hours. This isn't a very encouraging sign.

 

[rewboss]

Panic over. She's back, unhurt, tired and hungry, but otherwise in good spirits, it seems.

Of course, she had to wait until I'd finished printing out the posters. And now I need more toner.

 

[minka]

Hmm... if there are strange, possibly un-neutered cats in the neighborhood that are making Clyde slightly aggressive and Bonnie scared to the point where she runs away for more than 24 hours at a time, I say it's time to make both cats indoor only (if not only Clyde).

You would then reintroduce them as though they were new cats who didnt know each other at all, with no eye contact, only scent swapping, then contact only under a door, then only able to see each other, then feeding them together, etc. You can get more information on this from members who have more experience introducing cats.

 

[rewboss]

The way Bonnie came back suggests she got shut in someone's cellar or garage. There wasn't a moment's hesitation: she suddenly appeared from nowhere, shouting at the top of her voice, and shot straight into the house.

I really don't want to start a discussion about the rights and wrongs of allowing cats out; suffice to say that where our cats are concerned, my wife and I share some very strong views on this point, and turning them into indoor cats is for us a second-to-last resort (the last resort being, of course, giving one of them away).

That said, as winter approaches, they will have to get used to much less freedom. This house is so badly insulated, we have to keep most of the doors closed when it gets cold. (We're about to start building a house of our own, and are planning to move in next year, saving what we calculate will be a four-figure annual sum on heating bills alone.) To a certain extent, it's going to be like having them as pretty-much-almost-indoor cats.

 

[minka]

But what you are doing is making them unhappy, so shouldn't that mean changing your viewpoints might have to come into the equation??

 

[rewboss]

Originally Posted by Minka

But what you are doing is making them unhappy, so shouldn't that mean changing your viewpoints might have to come into the equation??

You're telling me that keeping two outdoor cats shut indoors 24/7 when one of them panics if she thinks the other is in the next room is more likely to make them happy? I know it is possible to keep indoor cats very happily, and I have met plenty of cats that refuse to go outside at all, but Bonnie particularly was never much of an indoor cat, needs plenty of space to burn off excess energy and new things to explore, and would more likely go stir crazy, especially with the situation as it currently is. At least now Bonnie has an escape route; I'm not sure that closing that option off for good is going to be anything other than counter-productive.

I wonder if people are taking into account the fact that this is not quite like introducing a new cat into the household. The advice I've been getting so far seems to assume that Bonnie doesn't know Clyde, but the problem is that Bonnie does know Clyde. The issue came to a head when Clyde basically attacked Bonnie and, to make matters worse, she was in the one room in the house she considered to be her private space. Keeping them apart -- which we are doing as a matter of necessity -- has so far resulted in Bonnie withdrawing from most of the house which they'd previously shared and Clyde pretty much taking over. Swapping scents I could see might work if they didn't know each other, but Bonnie already associates that scent with unpleasant things, in particular being attacked in the place she feels safest.

Basically, I disagree with your assessment that allowing them to roam is what's making them unhappy. Quite the reverse, actually, especially with Bonnie, who was never happier than when she was helping my wife with the gardening. Perhaps you should have been there.

I'm not rejecting all advice out of hand, please understand. I'm just not entirely convinced, and I'm weighing up all possibilities very carefully. This isn't something I want to get wrong, and I can't see how keeping them indoors is the right thing to do under these circumstances.

 

[minka]

Are you leaving your doors open all the time? (I'm trying to understand how she is getting out during one of her panics, especially when you are not home.)

My concerns are two things (and this is just me being honest):
1. Bonnie will run out the door during one of her panics and never come back. It is not a nice thought to think of, but is entirely possible. Especially if during one of her outings she finds another home without cats that scare her
2. Clyde will get into a fight with another cat due to the escalating aggression from possible random roaming un-neutered males

I also completely understand that they know each other, but the reasoning to introduce them as if they don't know each other is to 'reset' them. To allow them to forget that the other cat equals aggression or fear. To reestablish happy thoughts between them.

If you Were to keep them indoors, the trick to keeping them happy and entertained would include increasing their vertical space; making sure they have lots of high up spots to lounge and jump on. Also, you could always take the cats out to the garden with you on a leash, so happy outside times would not have to be entirely sacrificed.
In fact, since you are building a new home, you could just include tunnels and/or a catio to allow them access to the outdoors in a worry free manner. http://habitathaven.com/blog/