Cat Related Guilt

[GraceBerry]

I need help with guilt.

This is a long story.

There was a stray cat who hung around my parents house, with whom I formed a bond with. My parents and siblings moved to a different country and so I had to move houses. I wanted to adopt her, but she wouldn’t get inside a box for me, so I could take her to the vet. Then people moved into the house that I had previously lived in, so I couldn’t find her, to try the box again. At this point I was really lonely (due to my family having moved away) and I wanted a cat/ companion so bad. I found out about ragdolls and started researching breeders.

I’ve always been an impulsive person. My mind jumps from one idea to the next, and as soon as I have an idea in my head, I act on it. Maybe I was hoping that I could have both the ragdoll and the stray.

It was only after I paid the $500 deposit on a ragdoll that I got the idea to ask the new tenants to call me if they found the stray cat. Well, a few days later, they found her. And then I found out that I was only allowed to keep one cat.


I drove to my old house and picked up my girl. In tears, I called the shelter to come and get her, in the hopes she would be put up for adoption and find a loving home, rather than live on the streets.


I chose the easy route and bought a house trained ragdoll kitten, rather than a stray cat who didn’t know how to live indoors. Do I regret my decision? I don’t know, but I do know that I miss that little black cat every day, and feel remorseful.

How do I get over this?

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi - it takes a lot of time, and maybe not really ever.
I still to this day deeply miss two darlings, one was a meezer, one was a munchkin, that I met in a (true) no-kill shelter, and due to my living arrangements at the time couldn't take them home. I have no idea how things turned out for either of them. Each one simply broke my heart into a million pieces, and yet I'm so glad I got those few minutes with them.
Compassionate people like yourself walk a rocky path because of various different types of loss.
You didn't chose an easy route - at that moment, you looked for that cat and couldn't find her. It's normal to move on. Then when you learned that the stray was found, you did a VERY responsible thing, painful, but truly loving by getting her off the streets.

 

[GraceBerry]

Hi, thank you very much for your kind words, I needed to hear that.
I’m sorry to hear about your grief as well...

 

[Furballsmom]

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS.

Sometimes we tend to dwell on the negative instead of the positive. Maybe you didn't bring her to your home and try to socialize her. But you did ensure she wasn't left alone on the street, with possibly no one to feed her. That's more than anyone else did for her. And hopefully the shelter was able to adopt her out, and she's now living happily with another family.

If you think it might help ease your "guilt", maybe you could donate money, or cat supplies to a shelter, to help them help other cats.
Or even look into volunteering at a shelter.

Meanwhile, since you've joined TCS, and you have a Ragdoll, perhaps you can introduce her and yourself in our New Cats on the Block forum.
We love pictures, btw.
How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post

 

[Nixiiie]

I truely believe that -everything- and I mean -everything- happens for a reason. For whatever the reason's may be this is how the scenario was supposed to play out. You did a wonderful job assuring that this kitty was off the streets and would be givin the chance to find a wonderful home even if it wasn't your home. Enjoy your new furbaby! You're a great person - don't think otherwise.

 

[GraceBerry]

thank you rubysmama and nixiiie That helps ease my mind/heart a lot ^_^ and I'll post pictures on that forum soon! xx