Cat Owner Moving In With Dog Owner

[loveteachart]

(Warning: long post ahead)
I adopted my Lizzie two years ago, and since then she has been an only pet. She has been loving, playful, and super affectionate. My boyfriend and I are moving in together, and he has a 9 year old Morkie(she’s tiny and essentially a cat, super chill personality).

We were going to take things slow for introductions, me moving into the apartment first and him bringing Kona over for visits until the two seemed comfortable, but some circumstances with other animals in his home sped up our move in date so that we both moved in at the same time today. We’d done some scent swapping, but the two had never met prior to today due to my landlord’s extremely strict ‘no dogs on the premises’ policy. I’m addition to his dog, there was another dog, two other cats, and several birds at his place, so I felt that bringing Lizzie out there would stress her out.

We carefully introduced them today. Lizzie’s tail puffed up at first but for the most part Kona wasn’t really interested in her so she calmed down. She even started trying to rub up against her, and Kona was taking that as playing. They seemed to be getting along fine.

Since we finished moving later today, we have made sure that neither of them were in the apartment alone together. My shift was good; Lizzie was shut in the bedroom for a little bit and when she started meowing to come out I let her and kept a close watch on the two animals as she explored. They seemed good.

Then came my boyfriend’s shift while I left to buy a new litter box and some essentials. When I came back he told me that Lizzie kept going up to Kona and hissing and swiping at her. Kona would try to walk away, and Lizzie would leave her alone for a second but then chase her down, hiss and swipe again.

We decided maybe it would be best for Lizzie to stay out of the bedroom tonight while we kept Kona in with us. I’m concerned that this aggressive behavior will continue. For now Lizzie is in our (small) laundry room with her litter box, but she does not do well wth being confined. She prefers to be able to explore. We have plans for Kona to go to a friend’s house tomorrow and the following day while we’re both at work, but any advice for reintroducing them? We did go fast with the introductions, and I’m not sure how to reset or address Lizzie’s aggressive behavior. I should add that Kona is only a few pounds more than her and does not have an aggressive bone in her body, so I’m worried that Lizzie will bully her. Even now I can hear her pawing at the laundry room door, so I’m not sure how long we can keep her confined and still get enough sleep... Help!

 

[danteshuman]

I would watch some Cat vs. Dog episodes. Your cat is stressed from new plus a new creature. The best advice I can give is lots of cat shelves/trees plus training the dog. It might be easier if the dog is on a leash so the dog can't go up to her during first introductions?

Cat vs. Dog | Watch Full Episodes & More! - Animal Planet

I would have given her the bedroom full of her stuff. Let her adjust to the move and become comfortable. Then work on training the dog at the same time. Be sure to give her a dog free room (laundry room?) or a high litter box so she can go in peace.... two litter boxes in 2 different rooms should help once she is out of her safe room. I would try feeding her near the door because her learning to associate the dog with yummy food can't hurt. Feliway couldn't hurt either.

Lastly I will add this. My marriage? 8 years. Total relationship time? 10 years. My cats? 11 & 12 years. My cats are here to stay in every relationship I enter. "Love me, love my cats" thing So if your BF accepts that from the get-go, then he may be more willing to work with you in training the dog. Also you can train his dog while he bonds with your cat.

 

[loveteachart]

Thank you danteshuman! Lizzie loves my boyfriend, so fortunately that’s one obstacle I don’t think we’ll have to face. Kona is now also at the point where she won’t approach Lizzie, but we’ll try to put her on a leash too. I would’ve liked to have Lizzie in the room with us last night, but Kona has some serious separation anxiety and might have had a heart attack if she couldn’t sleep with her dad. But I am going to try to put more of Lizzie’s stuff in the laundry room; she has a bed and a blanket right now in addition to he (covered) litter box. The hard part about training and rewarding her that I forgot to mention is that she’s not a food motivated cat. She had IBD, and just recently had the rest of her teeth removed, and even before that was never interested in treats. So, lots of positive reinforcement and petting. I know she’s overwhelmed and we need to give her time. Hopefully they can coexist peacefully. We both really love our pets so there’s really no other option.

 

[rubysmama]

Here's the TCS articles on introducing cat and dogs:

Caring For Cats And Dogs
Introducing Cats To Dogs
How To Safely Introduce A Cat And A Dog

 

[1 bruce 1]

I might be off on this one but what the heck.
This does not sound like aggression to me. This sounds like a cat that's been an only pet for the last 2 years finding herself fascinated, curious, etc. by this "dog thing", and is being very catlike in her way of communication. Not to mention the recent move probably has her a little agitated and unsure of what's going on, and who lives where and who owns what, etc.
I have a girl cat that will do this to any new creature--dog or cat--for a few days. She'll approach, hiss, slap, then run away, then do it again a few seconds later. It's like she's a clique leader in a Jr. High school that's worried the new kid will overthrow her
The fact that Kona isn't reacting with growling, chasing, biting, etc. is great, but I understand you don't want bullying to happen.
Do as you're doing but give it some time. Within a few weeks they'll probably the best of pals. Everyone is a little jarred from the move and the mixed family thing, once that settles down everyone should be able to chill a little and things will smooth themselves out =)

 

[loveteachart]

So a brief update. We’re sitti watching a movie right now, and Lizzie was let out of the laundry room because we’re both here. She hid behind the couch for a little bit and then a few minutes ago got up on the couch, walked over to Kona, rubbed up against her and then laid down right next to her. WHAT THE HECK?! Which now leads us to wonder if it’s more normal for the aggression to come out at night? Or maybe her spending the night and day in her space with small breaks out has helped already. We’ll keep taking it slow, but I wanted to put this out there. Thank you to you all who have offered thoughts so far

 

[1 bruce 1]

So a brief update. We’re sitti watching a movie right now, and Lizzie was let out of the laundry room because we’re both here. She hid behind the couch for a little bit and then a few minutes ago got up on the couch, walked over to Kona, rubbed up against her and then laid down right next to her. WHAT THE HECK?! Which now leads us to wonder if it’s more normal for the aggression to come out at night? Or maybe her spending the night and day in her space with small breaks out has helped already. We’ll keep taking it slow, but I wanted to put this out there. Thank you to you all who have offered thoughts so far

Great sign!! And so soon.
Seriously, I do think they'll be buds eventually. Some of my dogs have packed up into dogs and ignore the cats and a few of them (one in particular) ADORES the cats and protects them, cuddles them, fusses them, etc. It's rather sweet =)
Kona's chill attitude is probably a vital key in this, as Lizzie probably is like "ehh, so you're a dog, eh? Think you're tougher'n me, eh?" and Kona's not reacting to it. That kind of chill, laid back attitude is very, VERY contagious. Myself, I'm drawn to people like that because they seem so stable and sure, I'm sure cats and dogs like that feeling, too.

 

[rubysmama]

She hid behind the couch for a little bit and then a few minutes ago got up on the couch, walked over to Kona, rubbed up against her and then laid down right next to her.

That's certainly encouraging!

 

[KSV]

Great sign!! And so soon.
Seriously, I do think they'll be buds eventually. Some of my dogs have packed up into dogs and ignore the cats and a few of them (one in particular) ADORES the cats and protects them, cuddles them, fusses them, etc. It's rather sweet =)
Kona's chill attitude is probably a vital key in this, as Lizzie probably is like "ehh, so you're a dog, eh? Think you're tougher'n me, eh?" and Kona's not reacting to it. That kind of chill, laid back attitude is very, VERY contagious. Myself, I'm drawn to people like that because they seem so stable and sure, I'm sure cats and dogs like that feeling, too.

So a brief update. We’re sitti watching a movie right now, and Lizzie was let out of the laundry room because we’re both here. She hid behind the couch for a little bit and then a few minutes ago got up on the couch, walked over to Kona, rubbed up against her and then laid down right next to her. WHAT THE HECK?! Which now leads us to wonder if it’s more normal for the aggression to come out at night? Or maybe her spending the night and day in her space with small breaks out has helped already. We’ll keep taking it slow, but I wanted to put this out there. Thank you to you all who have offered thoughts so far

I would watch out about how the dog approaches the cat. The dog might just run up to the cat wanting to play in her dog way. The cat might interpret it as an intrusion and react defensively or even offensively to protect herself. But hopefully all will be well.