Cat is lonely..

[ptamom2010]

Due to health issues, I had to give my male cat (Yohan) back to the animal shelter. This broke my heart but I know it had to be done.  I decided to keep the female (Shadow) for my son.  If my condition continues, then I will also have to give her back.

She is obviously lonely and looking around for him.  She didn't eat this morning.  How long will this last and what can I do to help her?

 

[mservant]

When cats loose a companion they will show signs of grieving just like humans do, and this can vary in length the same way.  You do not mention how long ago you gave Rohan back to the shelter, how long you had all been together, or how old your cats are.  It is normal for there to be some time where a remaining cat will search and call for their companion, and then go through a period where things like eating and drinking are difficult.  If this not eating continues for more than a day and is severe, or you are worried your cat is loosing weight (especially if they are a young kitten or older cat) you should seek the advice of a vet in case their physical health is irreversibly damaged or threatened by the lack of food.  

Try to spend time with your cat but avoid over fussing as if you change your behaviour around her she could be even more stressed by this.  Be available for her to come to you, and to seek physical contact or play with you and this will help her adjust and decide what type of social contact she wants now she does not have the cat companion she has been used to.  If your cats snuggled up together regularly she may also appreciate a little soft toy as a 'lovey', or a larger soft fur item she can curl in with.

Hopefully with her feeling she has the availability of contact with you she will settle in the near future and signs of distress will lessen.  If she continues to show signs of stress then a Feliway diffuser could help, or some calming herbal or flower remedies though I have not used the latter with my own cats.  I hope you see Shadow and your son settle down as an altered family group soon and that you are able to keep her with you.  

 

[ptamom2010]

Thanks for the help.  They were both 4 mos old when we got them; Shadow 1st and then Yohan a few days later.  She is 10 mos old. 

They were both "my cats" meaning I feed them, changed the litter box, was home with them all day, and they slept where I slept (which often posed a problem with hubby).  Luckily, this constant should stay the same.  Last night she slept with me and only meowed once during the night.  She did eat a little this afternoon and the big test will be tonight when she gets fed her favorite (cooked chicken meat).

Before I had read your post, I did give her one of my sons baby stuff animals (another kitty); she hasn't shown interest in it so far.

I do need to take her to the vet as she appears to have a cold and will mention if things don't improve.

I think in time, she will be fine.

 

[mservant]

It sounds like she is settling in quite well although I can't help but feel sad for you all that you have had to make this change.  She is young and many young kittens are seperated at this age so she should bounce back quickly, especially as she is settled in her furever home and not having to cope with other changes at the same time.  It is a nice thought to have offered her one of your son's toys, and even though she has not shown interest in it yet I would leave her that choice as she may decide at a later date, or when she does not have her human family around her and has to cope with being alone as this will be a new experience for her.  

I hope she is well and not getting a respiratory infection, but if she is you are obviously watching over her and she is lucky that she is being taken care of.  

 

[ptamom2010]

 
It sounds like she is settling in quite well although I can't help but feel sad for you all that you have had to make this change.  She is young and many young kittens are seperated at this age so she should bounce back quickly, especially as she is settled in her furever home and not having to cope with other changes at the same time.  It is a nice thought to have offered her one of your son's toys, and even though she has not shown interest in it yet I would leave her that choice as she may decide at a later date, or when she does not have her human family around her and has to cope with being alone as this will be a new experience for her.  

I hope she is well and not getting a respiratory infection, but if she is you are obviously watching over her and she is lucky that she is being taken care of.  

She still meows at night but my worst fear has been confirmed.  My lung doctor informed me that I have to give her back to the shelter in order to get better as I am highly allergic to cats.  Yes, I knew this when I adopted her but since I didn't show any major reactions, I thought I would be ok.

How do I state how I feel?  Remorse, guilty, sad, lonely.  I am sitting her crying as I write this.

I hope that she goes to someone that will truly love her (she is black w/ white undercoat)and you know how superstitious some people can be.

Please pray for her, myself, and my son.

Thanks. 

 

[mservant]

I am so sad for you, I would feel so miserable not being able to have a cat in my home.  To want to offer a furever home, and for your son to have the gift of cats in his life and not be able to carry this through has to hurt even without all the other thoughts that come in to your head.  Perhaps at some other time and with different cats you will be able to manage to open your home again to some little creature.  Keep a grain of hope there, sometimes people go through phases where they seem to react more to things, and react to one cat but not to others.  Shadow is still a young cat and we can hope that others will fall in love with her just as you and your son did.  

 

May you all find happiness and peace.