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A couple of weeks ago, we adopted 2 cats from a nearby shelter. They came to our house at the same time, although one, Tempest, had to be kept to herself in a room while the other, Sinbad, was able to have the run of the house immediately.
Any help anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated, we're having an odd problem with the attempted introductions that I've not managed to find addressed in any of the articles about introductions that I've found online.
First, the kitty personalities..
Tempest is a very sweet, but very reserved cat. She has been abandoned 3 times that we know about, so it takes her a long time to adjust to new places and people. But once she does, she is just so sweet and friendly and eager for snuggles. She is ready now to leave her room, and she very much wants to.
When we decided to adopt a cat, we did a lot of research on the subject and decided to adopt 2, so they could keep each other company. So enter Sinbad. He's a very friendly, very outgoing cat. The president of the shelter suggested him as a companion for Tempest because he's so friendly and patient with other cats. She described him as having a "very high cat etiquette." We liked him a lot too when we met him, so we brought both of them home.
But here is the problem - Sinbad at first seems like he has a very high cat etiquette, but in fact it is the exact opposite. When we began the introduction process via a cracked door, then full cat gate, it very much seemed that way. Tempest would reflexively hiss at him, and he would just ignore it. Things seemed to be going well. Tempest got used to him and they interacted very well through the full cat gate; no hissing, lots of nose to nose sniffing, even friendly trills. So after several days of this, we decided a closely supervised and short introduction was in order.
And this is when we discovered our mistake. Sinbad does not understand cats AT ALL. He is so very eager to have a playmate that he immediately charges her and tries to cuddle. Like climb on top of her to snuggle type cuddle. Needless to say, Tempest does not like this at all. WE know that he's really just wanting to be friendly - when we present him with a sock that smells like her, or brush him with a brush we've used on her, for example, he starts licking and bunting them - but she is very threatened by his immediate charge and stares.
Neither of them are actually hostile - Sinbad doesn't even realize they aren't playing chase and wrestle and Tempest runs away when we simply put an arm between them - but the feedback loop they get into when he immediately charges for play and doesn't realize she's afraid and fighting means that we just can't let them together.
Since neither of them is actually wanting to fight, we're pretty sure things would go fine if we could somehow find a way to mitigate Sinbad's eagerness so he doesn't immediately try to hug. But nothing we've tried thus far has worked. I'd very much appreciate any advice anyone might have! We're in love with both of them now so returning one is not an option, but we have no idea what to do with this situation. If they were fighting and aggressive, we'd just start over the entire process (which we have already, for Tempest's sake mainly because he scared her) and go much more slowly, but the problem is overfriendliness and starting over isn't doing a thing for that!
If anything, it's making it worse. The longer Sinbad goes without interacting with her, the more frantic he becomes to snuggle and stare when he does see her. I now can't even hold onto him when he thinks the door to her room is about to open, he struggles and charges right up there like an army of dogs was on his tail.
Any help anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated, we're having an odd problem with the attempted introductions that I've not managed to find addressed in any of the articles about introductions that I've found online.
First, the kitty personalities..
Tempest is a very sweet, but very reserved cat. She has been abandoned 3 times that we know about, so it takes her a long time to adjust to new places and people. But once she does, she is just so sweet and friendly and eager for snuggles. She is ready now to leave her room, and she very much wants to.
When we decided to adopt a cat, we did a lot of research on the subject and decided to adopt 2, so they could keep each other company. So enter Sinbad. He's a very friendly, very outgoing cat. The president of the shelter suggested him as a companion for Tempest because he's so friendly and patient with other cats. She described him as having a "very high cat etiquette." We liked him a lot too when we met him, so we brought both of them home.
But here is the problem - Sinbad at first seems like he has a very high cat etiquette, but in fact it is the exact opposite. When we began the introduction process via a cracked door, then full cat gate, it very much seemed that way. Tempest would reflexively hiss at him, and he would just ignore it. Things seemed to be going well. Tempest got used to him and they interacted very well through the full cat gate; no hissing, lots of nose to nose sniffing, even friendly trills. So after several days of this, we decided a closely supervised and short introduction was in order.
And this is when we discovered our mistake. Sinbad does not understand cats AT ALL. He is so very eager to have a playmate that he immediately charges her and tries to cuddle. Like climb on top of her to snuggle type cuddle. Needless to say, Tempest does not like this at all. WE know that he's really just wanting to be friendly - when we present him with a sock that smells like her, or brush him with a brush we've used on her, for example, he starts licking and bunting them - but she is very threatened by his immediate charge and stares.
Neither of them are actually hostile - Sinbad doesn't even realize they aren't playing chase and wrestle and Tempest runs away when we simply put an arm between them - but the feedback loop they get into when he immediately charges for play and doesn't realize she's afraid and fighting means that we just can't let them together.
Since neither of them is actually wanting to fight, we're pretty sure things would go fine if we could somehow find a way to mitigate Sinbad's eagerness so he doesn't immediately try to hug. But nothing we've tried thus far has worked. I'd very much appreciate any advice anyone might have! We're in love with both of them now so returning one is not an option, but we have no idea what to do with this situation. If they were fighting and aggressive, we'd just start over the entire process (which we have already, for Tempest's sake mainly because he scared her) and go much more slowly, but the problem is overfriendliness and starting over isn't doing a thing for that!
If anything, it's making it worse. The longer Sinbad goes without interacting with her, the more frantic he becomes to snuggle and stare when he does see her. I now can't even hold onto him when he thinks the door to her room is about to open, he struggles and charges right up there like an army of dogs was on his tail.