Cat Introduction- Resident Cat Is Stressed

[fadeela]

Advice needed
I have a 3 year old female cat and the kitten( 12 weeks) .
We did everything to introduce them. The kitten has his own room(the whole of first floor) with supplies( food, water, litter, toys) and misha(resident cat) had the rest of the house(ground floor) and outside. When they are in the same room(the ground floor )the kitten always goes towards misha and and wants to play but misha hisses and runs away. The kitten doesn’t give up and follows misha around. The good thing is when I put food, they both eat peacefully while keeping an eye on each other but no hissing. Its already 1.5 weeks the kitten is home. When i feel its too much for misha, I separates them and the kitten is in his room. Most of the time, misha chooses to go outside.
This morning, i let them together again, still hissing but seems like the kitten is learning not to come too near to misha. I feel misha is unhappy and stressed and she prefers to stay out of the house most of the time(because of the heat in Belgium)
My husband and I are sleeping separately, one with each cat so misha doesn’t feel left out.
What would you recommend to do for them to Atleast tolerate each other so that we do not have to separate them anymore and let both roam freely in the house. Am I doing something wrong? What should I do to make misha and the kitten get along ? What should I do so misha isnt stressed out?
Thank you vey much for the help

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Congrats on the new kitten. Sorry your Misha is not impressed with her new sibling. Hopefully once the kitten gets older they'll be best buds.

Some of Misha's hissing will likely be her teaching the kitten "cat manners". Generally as long as there isn't fur flying or blood, and the kitten keeps going back for more "fun", things are ok.

But don't leave them together unattended, until you are confident there won't be any fights.

Here's an article that might be helpful. Although I think it is probably more for introducing older cats. How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction

Also The Multi-cat Household

And a few on cats and stress:
Potential Stressors In Cats - The Ultimate Checklist
Six Surefire Strategies To Reduce Stress In Cats

 

[fadeela]

hello Rubysmama, thank you for your prompt reply.
What would you suggest? I keep them apart when im not home. Meals together and some attented play time until i find that they will not be fighting?

Do you think it will be okay for my husband and I to go back to sleeping together? the only problem, misha is used to sleeping with us and at the moment, the kitten is sleeping with me upstairs in the bedroom.
so i dont know what to do?

 

[rubysmama]

I've never introduced a kitten to a older cat, so my "advice" comes from reading threads on other cat introductions.

I would definitely keep them apart when you aren't home. In fact, friends of mine had a kitten-proofed room they would put their kitten in when they went to work. And they didn't have the added twist of an older cat.

About your sleeping situation, maybe on the weekend, or sometime when you don't need to ensure you get a good night's sleep, you could try letting everyone (humans and felines) sleep in the same room and see what happens.

 

[KarenKat]

Hi, welcome! Sorry Misha is having a rough time. It hasn’t been very long in cat world, and may take a few more weeks to settle down. The group feedings are great, also the playtime! I think you are doing good and just need to continue.

I’ve had a long intro between two resident cats and a new adult cat, and because they were all adults it had been a lot harder. Hopefully Misha will calm down soon.

As for you and your husband sleeping separately, first wow! You two are loving and dedicated people. I think you can try sleeping together again, is there a way you can swap Misha and the kitten for the night so Misha gets some cuddles but they are still separated? I know with outdoor access this might be hard. Misha of course is unhappy, but she will adjust and it’s inpirtant you and your husband are calm and relaxed for her. This could mean going back to a normal human bed routine.

A lot of people here also recommend calming products like Feliway diffusers. This might help Misha relax a bit more, but mostly I’d say stay the course!

 

[fadeela]

Hello everyone, i wouls like to give you an update. So we move back to sleeping together but it has been so warm lately that misha is either sleeping downstairs or stays outside. There has been more tolerating from misha's part. No more hissing and even play together when she is in the mood.
But the kitten(oswald) is very difficult to handle now. He just doesn't leave misha alone. Constantly chasing her and she gets very annoyed and hissed and fight back. Then he goes for more. Misha is very jumpy nowadays and doesn't want to be in the same room with the oswald.
Yesterday, they both slept on the bed but i had to monitor oswald not to annoy misha, finally he slept like 1m from her. But i woke up to misha sleeping in the seat downstairs and oswald in the bed.

Whenever he misbehave, like jumping on the counter or trying to eat from my plate, i put him up and close the door. He whines for a while(sometimes a long time) but then eventually stops. I do the same when he is annoying misha. I put him up and let him be by himself for a while.

The feliway is a bit expensive for my budget but i found a natural alternative (no stress) with lavender and valerian.
I was thinking of using this.

The positive thing is they eat together, sleep in each other place. No problem.
I do not know how to stop oswald from annoying misha so she can herself again around the house. Outside, she runs and is very happy.

Even when i am petting misha, oswald will jump on my lap and would like to be petted as well.
I do not know if you can see it in the picture but misha looks miserable.

What would you recommend me from doing as this is stressing both my husband and I.
Thank you very much

 

[KarenKat]

Does Misha stick up for herself? If yes, then she might just need to set her own boundaries by hissing or swatting. We are honestly having somewhat of a an issue with our resident cat Trin always whacking at our new cat Olive until she runs away. She is more agile then him, but you can tell she just wants to sit. I don't know of anything else to do myself other then let them work it out.

 

[fadeela]

She does hiss and hit back. Then he stays away for a while, then find another angle to attack. The picture on the seat. He was playing with misha's tail and she was moving it either to gain some peace.
Exactly, she just want to sit and relax and not be annoyed but the other one just doesn't seem ylto understand. I had to take oswald off the counter 4 times and finally lock him up for a while for him to understand no eating from the counter or jumping. He still does it when im not around and when he gets caught he runs very fast away..

 

[rubysmama]

Oswald is still so young, that you and Misha are basically just going to have to wait until he "grows up". By the time he's a year or so, most of his extreme silliness and mischief should be over.

About the Feliway alternative, here's an article on Alternative Treatments For Cats: How To Minimize The Risk which may be helpful.

 

[abby2932]

I'm in the same situation as you:
7 year old girl resident cat + 4 month old boy kitten

What I found that has been working the best is to get a feather wand and really play with the kitten for a good 20-30 minutes when he's pestering your girl. I mean INTENSE play. Get him running all over the room, jump up on the sofa, jump down. Once the kitten is tired, he and Misha can chill out in peace. When he is feeling playful again, you wear him out again with play.

That is what I have been doing and it is working out very, very well. When I go to work for the day, I do keep the kitten in my bedroom so my older girl can have some peace & quiet for a few hours.

You have to step up and play with the kitten a lot or he will try to get that attention from Misha.

 

[SDerailed]

I just went through this. I introduced a new 11 week old to the older cats. They were not pleased as out little kitten was just harassing them wanting to play.
I would keep separating them. Simply because your kitty needs "adult swim", and can get very stressed if not able to continue the normal activities.
As for your kitten, there is no one for him to play with. Do you remember what it was like to be at an adult party when you were a kid and have no kids to play with? You may have had toys, but that gets boring. Your kitten is looking for a friend and for a playmate.
We didn't want to do it, but after seeing my Siamese get sick because the kitten was harassing her we got the kitten a playmate. It's been smooth sailing ever since. Our oldest has stopped hating the kitten and I even caught her grooming the youngest one the other day.

 

[fadeela]

Thank you all for your answers
It all depends on Misha's mood. If she wants to play, she will run towards oswald herself and they'll play a good 15 to 20 mins. They then retreat to their own space and sleep out. But the kitten get re-energised quickly and harasses her. The hissing starts again. I noticed when Misha isn't here, he is a very quiet boy, will play with me a little then sleep out. But the moment he sees Misha, then he starts annoying her( wanting to play) which in turn pushes Misha to stay outside.

Another thing, when we go to sleep, misha is comfortable again to come on the bed and Oswald just annoys her so she gets out of the bed and he gets all the bed himself. Then Misha sleeps in the other room. sometimes, during the night, misha will come on the bed and then they will sleep peacefully on the bed( that is very rare). For example, if misha is on the bed first, he will still annoys her to get her out. I do not know how to react to that. Once or twice, I made Oswald sleep downstairs (due to harassing) so misha can have a good night sleep.

I am letting them sort it out themselves. Apart from that, they eat together and co-habit well as long as the oswald gives misha her personal space, there is no hissing.

I see that sometimes misha is always on edge, for example, when she is drinking water, always looks back to see if the little one is not jumping on her.

Oswald is nearly 5 months now and I waiting 1 more month to castrate him. there has already been some mating attempts.

 

[rubysmama]

If Oswald is mature enough to be trying to mate with Misha, perhaps you should speak with your vet about getting him neutered sooner than 6 months.

Here's the TCS article on When To Spay Or Neuter A Cat?

Plus we currently have a special 3-day forum all about spaying/neutering with questions being answered by experts Ms. Esther Mechler and Dr. Phil Bushby from "Feline Fix By Five" if you might want to post a specific question there.

Experts from "Feline Fix By Five" talk Spay/Neuter

 

[fadeela]

Hello Everyone, i am coming to you all with a new problem.
Misha and oswald can't stand each other now. It is more like, everytime misha comes inside the house or on the bed. Oswald will jump on her. I do not know if its playing or aggression. Then misha growls and hisses. And she stays in that state for a while. And if oswald will be just nearby, not doing anything, she will growls.
Most of the time, she is staying either outside or upstairs. When we go to sleep, she stays upstairs but not on the bed.
I do not know what to do to minimise the hostility between them.
The only place they would play, would be outside on the grass. Inside, they cant stand each other.

What should i do?