Here’s the rundown.
I have two cats; Mila is the resident cat (8 yrs old had since she was a month old) and Zoey is the newb (approx. 2 yrs had her since Oct ’16).:kitty2:
Mila’s adopted brother Buddy passed away over the summer a week after he was diagnosed with a ridiculously aggressive lung cancer. Broke my heart. Mila’s behavior changed; she was acting out by using whatever her little heart desired as a litter box. She also started meowing randomly throughout the night and would meow while walking in circles around my bed (one of his sleeping spots).
My heart ached too much to go searching for a new companion, but I told myself if one just happened to come across my path I wouldn’t pass it up. Enter Zoey. :heart3: Her family was moving across the country and couldn’t (or wouldn’t) take her with them. Their loss. She was fostered prior to that.
My cats currently have to stay on the second floor of the house I’m temporarily living in. The floor is a Jack and Jill style layout (two bedrooms that are connected by a bathroom on one end and connected to an enclosed staircase on the other end). So I'm able to keep them separated.
The issue is introducing them to each other. Zoey has front claws and Mila doesn’t so I’ve been taking it slow. Like glacial pace slow. This has been going on since OCTOBER (give or take a few weeks when Mila was recovering from a UTI).
I started with scent swapping for a few days and switching who stayed in each room; neither had a reaction to the other’s scent. Then I had them both in the same room; I would be with Mila and my dad would play with Zoey; the goal was to keep them distracted; desensitized to each other.
A few times Zoey would approach Mila, Mila would hiss and growl and Zoey would lay down. She would give Mila the slow blink, roll on her back, etc, but Mila wouldn’t have it; she hissed and growled. And eventually Zoey would get tired of that and want to play, which Mila took as attacking. Didn't end well.
After that I tried the baby gate followed by the double stacked baby gate when I learned Zoey could easily jump the one. I would feed them on each side and when giving them treats I could get them to eat within a fo:dk
t of each other at certain points. But as soon as the treats stop Mila goes to the other side of the room and keeps her back to Zoey while shoving her face in a corner.
I did this on and off for weeks, but Mila’s attitude never changed. Mila will never approach Zoey; she’s too scared. Zoey will absolutely approach Mila and while she will take her time, eventually she will lunge at Mila. I don’t think it’s out of aggression, but it’s hard to tell because Zoey has a silent meow; she can’t growl or howl. I’ve seen her hiss once, but that’s it. But I think if this were aggression Zoey would be trying to get to Mila all the time.
I decided to get a large wired dog crate and covered it almost all the way with a blanket and brought Mila in to Zoey's room. Mila stayed as far away as possible. Even with feedings, even with play time. BUT if I give her treats I can AGAIN lure Mila like a foot away from Zoey and get them both eating. That's the perplexing part! Ugh.
:smshfrk:
I quickly learned that swapping them and putting Mila in the crate was taking steps backwards; Zoey would approach her and although she couldn’t hurt Mila through the crate, I’m sure Mila felt trapped and therefore scared. So I just started doing it daily with Zoey in the crate.
There were a few occasions where Mila and Zoey would both fall asleep within a few feet of each other. But if I let Zoey out she’ll jump her. That wouldn’t be a huge deal except I worry about Zoey’s front claws. I trim them once every 2 weeks, but still. Zoey will stick her paws under the door to play and Mila won’t even go up to her out of curiosity. She may sit and watch, but she won’t get close at all.
I’ve tried the Feliaway diffusers. I’ve tried the herbal stress relief sprays. I’ve tried the pheromone sprays. I even downloaded the music that is supposedly scientifically proven to calm cats. I can testify that it is proven to calm humans too.
I took Mila to the vet yesterday for her annual boosters and to talk to them about maybe getting her and Zoey on some sort of anti-anxiety medication. I recently moved and had never seen this vet before (although Mila's been at their office once before) and he essentially said that it looks like I’ve done a lot of research and tried everything and "it just may not be in the cards for them." They wouldn’t even discuss medication with me; it’s like they thought I was scamming them.
The vet said I could try a cat behaviorist and gave me a pamphlet. For the low cost of $500+ dollars I can have a behaviorist do a 2-3 hour home visit/assessment....
So that’s where I’m at guys. I don’t know what else to try. Maybe I’m being too over protective and should just let them fight it out more often?
I’ll gladly upload any pictures or video footage if you need additional information.
I should also note I do have a 7 ft cat tree and a few high areas where Mila could jump to. I don’t have cat shelves at this time, maybe I should look into that.
I just don’t understand how they can eat treats inches from each other’s faces and fall asleep within a few feet of each other, but as soon as the barrier is gone it’s like Sparta up in here.
Can anyone offer advice on what else I can try? I'm desperate!
Sleeping!
I have two cats; Mila is the resident cat (8 yrs old had since she was a month old) and Zoey is the newb (approx. 2 yrs had her since Oct ’16).:kitty2:
Mila’s adopted brother Buddy passed away over the summer a week after he was diagnosed with a ridiculously aggressive lung cancer. Broke my heart. Mila’s behavior changed; she was acting out by using whatever her little heart desired as a litter box. She also started meowing randomly throughout the night and would meow while walking in circles around my bed (one of his sleeping spots).
My heart ached too much to go searching for a new companion, but I told myself if one just happened to come across my path I wouldn’t pass it up. Enter Zoey. :heart3: Her family was moving across the country and couldn’t (or wouldn’t) take her with them. Their loss. She was fostered prior to that.
My cats currently have to stay on the second floor of the house I’m temporarily living in. The floor is a Jack and Jill style layout (two bedrooms that are connected by a bathroom on one end and connected to an enclosed staircase on the other end). So I'm able to keep them separated.
The issue is introducing them to each other. Zoey has front claws and Mila doesn’t so I’ve been taking it slow. Like glacial pace slow. This has been going on since OCTOBER (give or take a few weeks when Mila was recovering from a UTI).
I started with scent swapping for a few days and switching who stayed in each room; neither had a reaction to the other’s scent. Then I had them both in the same room; I would be with Mila and my dad would play with Zoey; the goal was to keep them distracted; desensitized to each other.
A few times Zoey would approach Mila, Mila would hiss and growl and Zoey would lay down. She would give Mila the slow blink, roll on her back, etc, but Mila wouldn’t have it; she hissed and growled. And eventually Zoey would get tired of that and want to play, which Mila took as attacking. Didn't end well.
After that I tried the baby gate followed by the double stacked baby gate when I learned Zoey could easily jump the one. I would feed them on each side and when giving them treats I could get them to eat within a fo:dk
t of each other at certain points. But as soon as the treats stop Mila goes to the other side of the room and keeps her back to Zoey while shoving her face in a corner.I did this on and off for weeks, but Mila’s attitude never changed. Mila will never approach Zoey; she’s too scared. Zoey will absolutely approach Mila and while she will take her time, eventually she will lunge at Mila. I don’t think it’s out of aggression, but it’s hard to tell because Zoey has a silent meow; she can’t growl or howl. I’ve seen her hiss once, but that’s it. But I think if this were aggression Zoey would be trying to get to Mila all the time.
I decided to get a large wired dog crate and covered it almost all the way with a blanket and brought Mila in to Zoey's room. Mila stayed as far away as possible. Even with feedings, even with play time. BUT if I give her treats I can AGAIN lure Mila like a foot away from Zoey and get them both eating. That's the perplexing part! Ugh.
:smshfrk:
I quickly learned that swapping them and putting Mila in the crate was taking steps backwards; Zoey would approach her and although she couldn’t hurt Mila through the crate, I’m sure Mila felt trapped and therefore scared. So I just started doing it daily with Zoey in the crate.
There were a few occasions where Mila and Zoey would both fall asleep within a few feet of each other. But if I let Zoey out she’ll jump her. That wouldn’t be a huge deal except I worry about Zoey’s front claws. I trim them once every 2 weeks, but still. Zoey will stick her paws under the door to play and Mila won’t even go up to her out of curiosity. She may sit and watch, but she won’t get close at all.
I’ve tried the Feliaway diffusers. I’ve tried the herbal stress relief sprays. I’ve tried the pheromone sprays. I even downloaded the music that is supposedly scientifically proven to calm cats. I can testify that it is proven to calm humans too.
I took Mila to the vet yesterday for her annual boosters and to talk to them about maybe getting her and Zoey on some sort of anti-anxiety medication. I recently moved and had never seen this vet before (although Mila's been at their office once before) and he essentially said that it looks like I’ve done a lot of research and tried everything and "it just may not be in the cards for them." They wouldn’t even discuss medication with me; it’s like they thought I was scamming them.
The vet said I could try a cat behaviorist and gave me a pamphlet. For the low cost of $500+ dollars I can have a behaviorist do a 2-3 hour home visit/assessment....
So that’s where I’m at guys. I don’t know what else to try. Maybe I’m being too over protective and should just let them fight it out more often?
I’ll gladly upload any pictures or video footage if you need additional information.
I should also note I do have a 7 ft cat tree and a few high areas where Mila could jump to. I don’t have cat shelves at this time, maybe I should look into that.
I just don’t understand how they can eat treats inches from each other’s faces and fall asleep within a few feet of each other, but as soon as the barrier is gone it’s like Sparta up in here.
Can anyone offer advice on what else I can try? I'm desperate!
Sleeping!
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