Cat hissing won’t stop (cat intros)

[Ashleigh Kate]

Hey there!

I have posted before about introducing my and my partners cats together before and mostly the response was they will be fine but I’m really worried my cats are going to fight!

We moved in together a month ago and the cat intros were progressing well. Initially my cat ( female, 2 years) was quite playful and interested in my partners (male, 5 years) who was timid and unsure.

That soon changed when he got confidence and intended to start playing with her and she immediately regressed and decided she did not want him to touch her as he was larger than her and she was intimidated.

they are able to share the same space, eat together and otherwise are fine living together as long as he doesn’t try to touch her or play with her.
Whenever she find him approaching her or looking at her she will hiss , which is constant throughout the day.

he is mostly good, he’s a gentle catby nature and he won’t annoy her constantly but occasionally he will start to ‘stalk’ her (he follows her even after she’s hissed and growled at him) and starts to swish he’s tail at her and stare at her. This sometimes leads to him pouncing or swatting at her.

its good to note that even when he play fights he does it in the most half assed Gentle way and despite being bigger than her has never tried to hurt her or even come close. He doesn’t hiss or growl, show he’s teeth or claws... but he will touch her.

And she reacts IN FULL defence mode, claws and teeth out ears pinned down and growling and noises and hisses galore.
My problem is today he swatted at her and she went defensive and usually they will seperate but today he kept swatting back and I had to intervene because I thought she might fully attack him and he wasn’t going to back down.

I’m really worried about how to progress as she is obviously terrified to be touched by him and I dont Know how to progress

please help!

 

[jen]

If they were going to attack each other they would have by now. He is pestering her, she is yelling at him to stop. It is GOOD they are communicating. He will get it eventually. The fact that you said "They are able to share the same space, eat together and otherwise are fine living together as long as he doesn’t try to touch her or play with her." shows that they are fine. They will work it out. If you are stressed they will pick up on that so just let them work it out.

 

[jen]

Also a month is awfully quick for them to be bffs. So just give it more time. He probably needs her to give him a good smack a few times to get it. Even swatting and rolling around. If they sometimes are tolerant and eat together with no issues, they are fine.

 

[Ashleigh Kate]

The problem is she has been hissing at him and telling him to back off for weeks and it’s as if he’s gone ‘oh that’s not too bad’ and it’s making him want to push her further and annoy her more. She reacts as defensiveness as she can without physically attacking him so it only seems logical that’s the next step. I don’t want that to end up with one of them getting hurt just so he can test how far he can push her.

 

[jen]

That is what cats do. They push until they learn their lesson. You just have to let it happen. They might get into a big tussle and have to work it out and get through it. They are tough creatures

 

[WillowMarie]

The problem is she has been hissing at him and telling him to back off for weeks and it’s as if he’s gone ‘oh that’s not too bad’ and it’s making him want to push her further and annoy her more. She reacts as defensiveness as she can without physically attacking him so it only seems logical that’s the next step. I don’t want that to end up with one of them getting hurt just so he can test how far he can push her.

When I adopted two kittens for Isabelle, she was curious, but also hissed and growled. When she didn't want the kittens in her space, she growled/hissed. At first, she would leave the situation, but after a few weeks she seemed to gain confidence and would smack the kittens to enforce her boundaries or keep growling/hissing until the cats left.

I've had the kittens for about 6 months now, and both are showing more caution about being in Isabelle's space. They still try to push boundaries, but less. Like others have said, it can take some time for the kittens to finally start listening to boundaries being set and being more cautious.

Best of luck!

 

[jen]

How else are they going to establish dominance if they don't have occasional tussles and likely at some point a nice big one.

 

[Ashleigh Kate]

So let them fight? Even if they hurt eachother?

 

[jerseyj]

When I asked my vet about swatting he said dont worry unless blood is drawn. Hissing & swatting are fairly common among new housemates

 

[jen]

Hissing & swatting are fairly common among new housemates

Or at any time. The cats in my house have been together over a decade (22, 17.5, 16.5 and 9 years) and sometimes one gets in the others way or bugs the other and they hiss and swat to tell the other to knock it off. This is how cats communicate at any age or stage of living together.

So let them fight? Even if they hurt eachother?

You never want it to get to where they hurt each other. Sometimes a nip or scratch happens, but anything more you don't want to end up with infections and abscesses. Most cats will never get to the point of intentionally seriously harming another if they hadn't from the start. They don't typically just turn on each other. They can have redirected aggression but that happens for an entirely different reason.

 

[Kurisunium]

Don't try to calm or soothe your aggressive cat, just leave her alone and give her space...