Cat hates kitten

[sandybelle]

Hi, I'm at my wits end at the moment and really wish someone will give me some advise and encouragment on this issue.

We have a three year old short haired male named Felix.  Felix was abandoned as a kitten with his siblings in a busy road and cat carers managed to save and foster them.  We adopted him at 10 weeks old and it seems he was the most feral of the lot as it took time for the fosterer to have him get used to being cuddled by humans.  He is lovely and a good boy. He loves our youngest daughter the most and interacts alot with her and she s the one that can hold him for a long period of time. 

We wished for a new kitten because we felt sorry for him when we are not at home and he is left alone.  The vet and cat carers I know encouraged me to get a female kitten and after some hissing and growling which might take some time they will eventually start getting along.

We go Sandy at 7 weeks old last August and kept them apart for almost four weeks since we were treating her for ear mites and we vaccinated Felix agains Feline Leukemia just in case.  She is very out going while he is more reserved.  After I read quite a few articles and posts I realise that maybe I should have got a kitten similar in temperament as Felix is.  But now its too late since we love Sandy and it will break our children's heart if we return her.

Anyway.  I did the introductions as I have read on numerous sites, very gradually.  Rubbing cloth over their faces. Letting them seeing each other through a screen etc etc he hissed and growled as expected.  One fine day I thought I should give it a shot and let them meet with supervision.  And he sniffed at her and swatted her and she was submissive but after three days she started playing hide and seek with her and he seemed to play along.  Until one day I think he must have got fed up and turned to run away from her, she ran after him as she must have thought he was still playing, and while he was running from her he looked back and when he looked front again he knocked himself  in the wall.  He went ballistic from that moment on. He started hissing and growling at her.  tried to calm him down with words and removed her from the scene.  Now about three days later when I try to introduce her again to him he looks hisses and growls seems to call for murder.  On the other hand most of the time when she sees him she makes a go at him most probably because she thinks she still can play with him though sometimes she goes submissively. When she runs up to him he runs away and most of the day he tries to spend it away from her.  I don't want her to become territorial and I would love to see them getting along.  Yesterday I've put her in the cat carrier and let him sniff at her but he was hissing at her and swatting the cage.  He never enjoyed eating from behind the door when she was eating as well.  Tried giving them both treats when she was in the cat carrier and I praise him all the time.

I feel I have to start from the begining but on the other hand he already knows her smell.  He just seems to not want her near him anymore.

I'm sorry I have written so much but I hope to have explained myself and maybe get some advice as well as words of encouragment that they wii not always be like this.  They are both indoor cats and Sandy now is 13 weeks old.  Thinking of spaying her soon.

Thank you

 

[mnm]

aww... that's rough. I have never had to introduce mine as they were litter sisters.. I assume you've tried the feliway comfort zone diffusers? I saw someone said they are on sale on Amazon right now. My son had the brother to our litter, and he introduced him at 4 months old to son's initial cat who was 2. He went thru the frustrations you have as well. They finally did make it to a point where he could leave them alone together, and sometimes they would sleep on the same bed, even groom each other, and other times, the senior cat, Mr Grumpy Pants would get snarly. I figured it was due to 2 males and territorial dominance.... but the younger one was such a sweet cat with a lil playful spunk... and the older one... just a tad more moody...and wouldn't give an inch on territory. Hope someone has some good pointer for you.

 

[sandybelle]

Thanks MnM knowing that they might end up enough friends to groom or cuddle fills me with hope. No I have never used the Feliway comfort zone. I have read about them. Still not sure if they truly work or not with.

 

[mnm]

I know what ya mean about trying stuff like that.... you read so many reviews pros and cons...but it may be worth a shot...
I bought an off brand when we said goodbye to Minnie a few weeks ago, as Mikki was agitated and howled in the night a lot.... we had a trip planned to go visit the grandkids 4 days later so I got one in hopes it would soothe her some way. I must say she did act a bit more relaxed before we left, however...again ya don't know if that's what did it ... she stills howls in the night but is definitely more off herself during the day...that's due to time. But I have read some pet owners swear by the feliway for fighting cats....
Here's the link to the one on Amazon...it's a lot cheaper there than in the pet shops!

 

[sandybelle]

Thanks you are very kind. I will check it out. I guess I have to calm myself first and foremost:-) Sorry about your cat. I hope Mikki will settle at night as well. No one likes a lonely night not even cats. Thank you once again

 

[mnm]

you're welcome... hang in there.

 

[sandybelle]

Hi MnM since you were so kind as to write back to me I just wanted to share that things seem to be improving. Resident cat still hisses sometimes but right now as Im writin, I think they are both playing. He is on the chair and kitten is underneath it. She keeps coming out from under the chair and teases him and Felix swats her ligthly with his paw. She was even playing with his tail and he didn't budge or hiss as he used to do. Actually I ve just looked and it looks like he is expecting her to play:-) Hope this improves and he won't get another bump in the head. Thank you for your support.