Cat evil towards toddler

[spektur]

So my wife's cat has never liked our son, ever since he was born she's been jealous. She was always a jealous cat, doesn't play well with other cats and hides from people, doesn't like kids, basically a waste of space, but I digress. The cat was tolerable until our son was born. We thought our son could enjoy having a nice pet to play with and love, oh no, not this cat. It really hurt me to see how she rejects my son and his reaction to her behavior, being sad about the cat not playing with him is one thing, but then she would claw him and scratch him. So she basically isn't allowed around him, but he still tries to chase and pet her, poor guy. She's always creeping around and trying to steal his food even though she is always well fed.

So this type of lunatic, highly annoying behavior has been going on for about 3 years now. I never liked this cat, however I respected my wife's wishes since it was her cat from before we got married, the cat is like 10 years old, I'm not sure how much longer she has left. She tears the house apart, any closed door is an issue for her, she's clawed the paint off of many walls trying to get into a room or she'll just howl and wake us up. Like I said, super annoying cat, I've had some disturbing thoughts about her, but once again I digress.  So anyways, it was my wife's birthday and we were having a party at home. After the party ended we went upstairs to discover that the cat crapped in my son's bed, unbelievable. She has crapped in the middle of the tv room where my son plays once before, but that was like a year ago, so we figured that aspect of her insanity had passed. This was pretty much the last straw with this hateful, arrogant creature. It's pretty obvious that she chose his bed on purpose because she crapped there twice during the course of the party, and a 10 year old cat doesn't just one day randomly decide to not use her stinkbox without some sort of psychotic agenda. My wife actually made the decision to give her "beloved" cat away. I'm not gonna argue with her. I realize this is probably a death sentence for her, unless they have a market for 10 year old lunatic, evil cats that will crap in your bed, you never know. Anyone familiar with this type of aggressive behavior? and if so can they be rehabilitated or should they be sentenced to death, err, I mean donated. 

 

[orientalslave]

Your cat doesn't hate your son, she hates the changes that have come with his arrival.  She also hates something that's a lot bigger than her chasing her around - you need to teach your son to ignore her.  You don't say how old he is, but at least old enough to walk.

You describe her litter tray as a 'stink box' - if it really is no wonder she didn't use it.  His bed might have felt most like it.  You also say she hides from people.  Did she have to go past all those people at the party to use the litter tray?  If so, not surprised she looked for an alternative.

Sounds to me like your cat is both bored and unhappy.  There is probably a lot that can be done to improve her life, which will improve your life, but it will take time and effort and won't be an overnight fix.  The situation sounds complicated, the best move would probably be consulting a properly qualified cat shrink.  This page advises on what the qualifications are:

http://companionanimalsolutions.com/blogs/qualified-animal-behavior-professionals/

 

[bastfriend]

Totally agreeing with Orientalslave's reply.    I think there's a lot of room for things to try to improve the situation.    Also consider this cat was your wife's before you even married and cat ownership is a commitment too.    The crapping in the bed is definitely a message, but it isn't always the message you think it is.....like Orientalslave says above it could be the party upset the cat or blocked her access to her litter box.    It could represent jealousy or upset at how your son chases or handles her and that is something that can easily improve with teaching him new ways.   Take a look if you get a chance at a few of the My Cat from Hell shows on Animal Planet and see how much change and progress is possible....there's still room for hope here!

ETA:  just looked and Animal Planet isn't showing them anymore but you can see them on Amazon Instant Video, no Netflix sadly

 

[catwhisperer1]

Too bad you don't live near me.  I'm one who will take on such a cat. I hate to see people give away old cats.  After so many years, the cat has the right to live out the rest of its lifetime in its familiar home. 

Most aggression in cats is actually fear motivated.  The cat is scared so it acts aggressive to try defend itself from a perceived threat.  Kids running, screaming, throwing things, grabbing at cat body parts, poking at cat body parts, stepping on a cat, kicking at a cat, etc all are behaviors young children often do to cats simply because the children don't know better.  Al these common child behaviors can easily frighten a cat and cause the cat to start showing fear aggression toward the child when the child gets too close to the cat.  Has the cat ever actually hurt the child? 

Your cat could have medical problems that are contributing to the behavior too.  If an animal is in pain or is ill or cannot see or hear well, etc that definitely will affect the cat's behavior and trigger pain or fear defensive aggression.  Has your cat been vet checked?  Often an old cat has tooth problems & resulting infection & pain etc & simply having the cat's teeth taken care of by the vet can make a huge difference in that cat's attitude.   Get the cat vet checked & any medical problems taken care of. 

Young children & animals should always be supervised by an adult human when they're together.  An adult human must TEACH young children that animals are living beings that feel pain, fear, hunger, thirst, cold, etc just as a human does & how to properly act around an animal.

Young children will often unknowingly torment or hurt the animal & if the animal tries to defend itself the only way it can, with teeth or claws, the animal gets unfairly blamed.  When teaching a young child how to interact with a cat, an adult should hold the cat and make sure the cat is calm and then have the child quietly come over.  Show the child how to stroke the cat in a way the cat likes & teach the child the proper way to interact with a cat. Once the cat learns the child can stroke it pleasantly & not hurt the cat & the cat begins to be calmer & less afraid of the child, you can teach the child how to play with the cat gently with an interactive cat toy.

Giving your cat a sturdy sisal cat tree will provide the cat an inviting place to claw that the cat will prefer to use. Also a cat will often simply climb up out of reach of children if it has the opportunity to do so. Also give the cat places where it can get to and hide that the child cannot reach.  Maybe put a baby gate across a bedroom door so the cat can go into that bedroom and get away from the child.  Front declawing is another solution that will stop the problem of destructive clawing things.

Another solution is to keep your cat in a cat cage.  I have a few old cats who are caged due to medical problems, needs for special diets, etc.  In a cage I can be sure the cat is eating, drinking, urinating & defecating normally.  A cat readily adjusts to a cage and actually comes to feel more secure in a cage.  Fearful cats especially come to feel more secure in a cage.  I have rehabbed& socialized a number of feral cats & kittens by starting them out in a large plastic dog crate with everything covered but the front so the cat felt safe in the cage & letting the cat decide when it was ready to come to the front of the cage and view & interact with the world outside the cage.  I've used the cage method many times to successfully socialize fearful cats, including some cats that were quite fear aggressive at the start.

I've successfully dealt with cats with a variety of problems including those like you describe with your cat all at the same time I was breeding, training, showing, & working with German Shepherd Dogs & raising 3 children.  The few cat scratches the kids received over the years were all inhibited, light scratches on arms & all were well deserved long before the cats delivered them.  It mostly took only one time for a kid to get a scratch by a cat for that kid to respect the cat and treat the cat properly.  Not one of the very few cat scratches the kids ever received over the years was ever serious. Those few cat scratches the kids got from the cats over the years were nothing compared to what the kids, like most kids, managed to do to each other!
 

 

[spektur]

Ok, so, my son will be 3 years old soon, the cat has been aggressive towards him from birth. So it was before he could have touched her, or scared her. Any time he tried to pet her she would scratch him.

It's her personality, we have neighborhood cats who love my son. If those cats come to our yard our cat screens bloody murder. I really don't know why she's like this. My wife said she adopted her as a newborn from a litter. So she has no history of violence.

I don't think she's physically in pain because she's usually quiet when left alone. She used to spend hours outdoors hunting birds and what not. Not so much anymore since she doesn't get along with the friendly neighborhood cats. So basically she feels threatened outside and she's jealous of my son inside.

She's seriously paranoid for no reason. Like if she sees me she will hide or run away. Which I find to be really weird since its been 8 years together. If we could just get her to relax she would really enjoy herself here, but now we're worried that she will continue to crap in random places.

If my wife donates her, I think she will regret it. As much as I don't particularly enjoy the cat, she's become like an in-law, so I've learned to tolerate her.

 

[orientalslave]

She hates the other cats coming in your yard as they are entering her territory.  You wouldn't be keen on the neighbours just walking in your front door whenever they felt like it.

She's not paranoid (if she is) for no reason though.  Inside the house is a toddler who by the sound of it scares her, outside are cats that scare her.  She has no-where she feels safe.

I stand by my original advice, to consult a cat shrink.  I think your analysis that she needs to relax is pretty good, but it can be a tricky business getting a scared cat to do that.

One thing - your son is old enough to understand he must leave your cat alone, which means not approach her and not look at her.  Both are scarying things to an underconfident cat.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

You have been given very good advice here.  I have a new 3 year old myself with a cat that doesn't care for her very much.  It does sound less than what your cat feels.  One thing that I know helps is having places to escape to.  The cat tree and the other side of gates are mostly what we use.  Our vet recommended Feliway and I've heard it recommended here many times; but you do need to give it time to work.  I also let my DD be the one to give our cats treats and sometimes feed them; so they associate her with something positive.  Teaching her how to behave around them is a work in progress that really has required a lot of patience and repetition. 

  

It does sound to me like a consultation with a behaviorist would be very helpful and worthwhile investment.  You have some issues to work the kitty through; but I don't believe its a hopeless cause. 

 

[catwhisperer1]

Your cat is afraid of your son, not jealous.  Young children with their erratic jerky uncoordinated movements, high pitched voices, tendencies to move suddenly and unexpectedly, throw things, scream, yell etc can be very scary to a cat. Your cat feels threatened inside and threatened outside.  Aggression in cats is almost always fear motivated.

Have your cat examined by your veterinarian to make sure there are no medical problems contributing to her behavior problems.  Tell your veterinarian about the behavior problems. Your veterinarian can give your cat medications that will help to calm her fears and either give you tops for modifying her behavior or refer you to an animal behaviorist.  And again giving the cat places where she can escape to and feel safe will also help with the problem. 

As I mentioned before, the extra large plastic dog crate caging method is also a way to give your cat a place where she can feel safe and observe and get used to your son from the safety of her cage. At first cover the entire crate except for the front door with a blanket so the crate is entirely dark except for the front door.  Put the cat's bed at the back of the crate and the litter pan at the front and the food and water dishes at the side.  This setup will allow you to open the door and clean the litter etc while the cat can hide safely at the back of the crate unless she feels like coming forward and interacting.  As the cat calms down and gains confidence, she will start coming to the front of the crate more and more.  At this point, you can remove the blanket from the crate.  Later you can allow her short supervised times loose in the house and if she behaves well slowly graduate her to having full freedom of the house again.  It may take a few months to complete the process.

Keep your cats claws clipped.  A cat whose claws are kept clipped will do less damage if they scratch someone than a cat with well-honed needle sharp claws.  You can also get nail caps to prevent a cat from doing damage by scratching.  The nail caps are glued onto a cat's claws and eventually come off as the claw grows.  Declawing is not a good idea.  Cats who have their claws are less likely to bite than a cat who has been declawed.

Your kitty is NOT hopeless, with human help, the help of behavior medications prescribed by your veterinarian, patience, persistence, and a positive attitude, your family and your cat can successfully work through her fears to a successful happy conclusion for all including your cat.