cat bites when we touch him (sometimes)

[muddygrl]

our cat Teddy, we adopted from the shelter on 8/.8/14. He was sweet as can be when we got him. Not shy at all, not overly outgoing but loved being pet. Well..... now he is kind of aloof. he asks for attention and rubs on my ankles and lets us pet him but he's gotten quite touchy. I am PRETTY sure that this is because of my 4 yo daughter. But not 100% sure. She has pestered him alot. Which we are constantly discouraging and telling her not to do xyz to him. She LOVES him. She isnt truely mean. But she just won't leave him alone! She gets in his face and pets him and he flattens his ears and she just does not "get it" till he bites her. I've taken to keeping her with me almost all the time, giving her more activities and things to do so that she isn't bothering him. I've told her the rules of what we do NOT do to a cat, (no hitting, kicking, no petting him when he's sleeping or laying around on the floor. wait till he comes to her and then let him sniff and pet his back/back of his head, not near his eyes. No pulling his tail etc. ) I let her help me feed him. I let her play with him appropriately with HIS toys. But the 2 seconds I turn my back she's following him around like a flea on a dog, not giving him space etc. 

Before we realized she couldn't be trusted, she would provoke him into chasing games (because she thought he was playing!) but when I finally saw what she was doing I immediatly  knew he was PISSED and not playing at all. She would hit at him to get Teddy to play back or kick him to get him to run. Oh my gosh. I feel so horrible for him because I can completely understand why he bites. 

But now that i am keeping my daughter away from him 95% of the time and keeping an eagle eye on her.... how do I get him to trust us again? will he always bite? He has no claws (we adopted from the shelter and his former owners declawed him  ) He was so sweet when he came home. He does give me hope, when he comes up voluntarily and rubs on me and asks to be pet. But this afternoon he did that then turned around and bit me. I pulled my hand back and said "no". Then ignored him. And he reached out and bit my ankle even though i wasn't doing anything!  So sad. what can I do to discourage biting and to help him trust us? 


Any tips from been there done that parents of little kids who have cats? My daughter really is a sweet girl and loves animals. But honestly she doesn't read behaviour or body language very well, despite my repeatedly telling her what a happy cat, angry cat, frustated cat etc look like. Honestly (based on other things we deal with) I am suspicious that she may be on the autism spectrum. She's pretty verbal but just doesn't get why Teddy doesn't want to "play". She says she likes to kick him and when I ask why , she says, "because I want him to run, he likes to run!" I think she truely thinks he is having fun because she is. She cries and is so sad when I tell her he is not having fun and doesn't like that. 

frustrated. 

 

[vanlind]

My 5 and a half month old kitty, Mr. Tumnus is a biter as well. I just had him neutered today so I am hoping that it stops soon. I also associated his biting with teething since I saw a couple fall to the floor one day he was jumping off my couch. I had no idea kittens lose their teeth at this time. This also explained why he had recently started dumping water into his food bowl....to soften the dry food....smart little kitty. As far as your daughter is concerned I do think cats treat kids in the home differently than adults as mine is alot more frisky with my daughter as well. You may want to try the water bottle method to discourage the biting behavior. The water bottle was my closest friend when we first brought him home until he learned quickly to stop a behavior and run when he sees it in our hands. Now we have to do 007 type stuff so he doesn't see it in our hands lol. You appear to be doing the right thing by also teaching your daughter to not play rough with him. My kitty previously lived with my 4 year old niece who's cat had a litter of 5 so we adopted him at 8 weeks. The day we picked him up I saw how rough my niece was handling the kitties. She meant well but the kitties didn't like it for obvious reasons and would attack. When my niece comes over my house, Mr. Tumnus runs and hides from her since he clearly remembers who she is lol. Keep doing what your doing by educating your daughter about the do's and don'ts of how to treat your kitty and maybe try the water bottle method to educate your kitty and discourage biting and any other negative behaviors. Good luck!

 

[muddygrl]

I think I forgot to say that he's a 4 year old cat. So definitely not teething. I had read not to use a spray bottle? I mean I know he's scared of getting hit or hurt or something and I think that it's misplaced aggression. So I don't want him to be more scared. I want him to learn to trust us. But I don't know when he bites if I should"hiss " at him or say no, or just get up and walk away. I know, no hitting for sure. I was wondering if using pheromone spray would help or something. I don't know.

 

[vanlind]

Oh ok so bit older than mine :-)  I haven't tried any pheromones or anything like that.  Mine is still a baby so he has time to mature.  I would say though the same traning tactics could be used on an older cat as well even though they may be a bit tougher to train since they are set in their ways.  Clapping or making other loud sounds work for stopping them in the moment as it alarms them.  My daughter has tried the hissing method, but kitty hissed right back at her  lol.  I had heard that ignoring them can work as well especially if they are doing negative things to get your attention.  Definitely no hitting or any other type of physical abuse.  When we use a spray bottle we don't spray him in the face and we do our best not to let him see us with it in our hands in an attempt to avoid him thinking it's just an extension of our hand...every cat is different so trying different things to see what works is probably best.  I have been told that kittens are easier to train than adults but they do have alot of energy and are very high maintenance lol.  

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I have a 4 1/2 and a 2 year old.  Noodles has my 4yo put in place; but the 2yo is still pretty clueless as to when Noodles does not want attention.  (Which is most of the time.)

Do you have any cat trees or places he can go to be away from your DD?  I have baby gates everywhere because our house is pretty much open concept.  We also have a tall cat tree they can climb on to get away from the kids.  I also have a feilway difuser going to help the kitties not be stressed out.  You are doing good by showing her how to play with him and keeping a good eye.  I don't put up with my 2 mistreating Mooch or Noodles; but it is a learning process.  I try to let DD be involved with feeding them dinner and giving them treats so they associate positive things with her.