Cat being put to sleep, please help.

[zombiekitten]

  Hello, this is my first time posting on here.

 I just made an account a few second's ago, so I'm not 100% sure I'm even posting in the right area for this. If not, please let me know and I apologize. My cat Looney got sick a few weeks ago, he was running a 104 fever, wasn't eating as much, not drinking water as much and was just mostly sleeping around. They did all sorts of tests on him, and couldn't find a single thing wrong. Everything was coming back normal, he was put on multiple different antibiotics, and even steroids. Nothing stopped this fever, or even moved it. He constantly stays around 103-104 fever. 

 

  Just almost a week ago, he'd stopped using the bathroom as much, stopped eating and drinking water. I began to force feed him food, since his medication required him to have food on his stomach and I wanted to keep him alive through this in hopes he would make it and fight through it... I force fed him baby food (just plain chicken/broth and stuff like that) and force feed him milk and water. I was forcing medication down his throat, and even after all of that... The fever never broke, and he only get worse. A couple of day's ago I'd noticed he was having a hard time standing. He went to get off the bed, and he fell down because he lost his balance. I called my vet quickly and she said maybe he just got too hot since he was under the cover's. But the wobbling never went away, and now he's gotten to where he's stopped moving. And when he does try and move, he usually ends up falling over on his side, or walks funny or off balanced. I rushed him to the vets, and she looked at him. She said she believes that he has the dry form of FIP. She told me I could spends 100's of dollars to have him cut open, but they may or may not find anything. And we've already spent almost 600 on all the tests and visits just trying to figure out what's wrong.

  So we knew we couldn't afford to have him cut open. My vet also told me if it's FIP, that he's likely to have nerve damage some where and that's why he's wobbling/off balance. She talked to me about maybe us putting him to sleep, because he's only getting worse. So we've chose to do that, we've stopped force feeding him, and giving him his medication... His appointment to be put down is tomorrow, and I'm so heart broken already. I'm so scared of what's going to happen, if it'll hurt, if this is the right choice, if I'm letting him down, if I could do something more for him, if he'll be happier over the rainbow bridge. I don't even know...

I've cried over and over so many time's, I can't even sleep at night now because I can't stop thinking about when that time comes.

His appointment was supposed to be today, but I postponed it for tomorrow because I just wanted another day with him and because I'm so scared... I don't want to let him go, I don't want to feel this pain or for him to be in any pain or feel miserable like he has been. I'm going to miss him so, so much.

  My birthday is on June 12th, it'll be my 21st and he wont be here for it. He's also so very young, he's not even a full year old yet... How do I cope with this? What will I expect to happen when they put him to sleep? I'm so afraid I'll have a horrible mental breakdown at the vets.. I'm so scared for the pain to come, and I'm scared I'll never get over it. We have 3 other cat's, and I can't even look at them or hold them anymore because I'm scared I'll lose them too. I'm so scared for Friday, What do I do? Thank you for reading my long post...

 

[sandra4u]

hi my name is Sandra, and I know what u r going through right now, and it suck. I am so very sorry u have to go through this. but you are doing the right thing not only for your baby but for youre self. he sounds like he is suffering, and that you don't want I'm sure. When I had my baby girl Pebbles put to sleep it was so peaceful. Just remember you are doing the best thing for him, plus there are no guarantee that even after a very pricey surgery that he will make it. And he will always be in your heart and in your memory. I'll pray for you both.

 

[rainx]

I can unfortunately empathize a bit with what you're going through. The first cat I ever owned died while I was at work they day before I had made an appointment to have her put to sleep in early March of this year. I had found a lump on her tummy I hadn't noticed before in mid February and the ultrasound the vet performed confirmed she had an over enlarged spleen. She had lost a lot of weight prior which I unfortunately thought was due to some other factors and change of diet, but I never put two and two together until it was well too late. She was a mixed Siamese named Rosetta and she was around 7. Even had I caught it a bit sooner, the symptoms on top of that she was showing like coughing and sneezing and the ultrasound being sent to an expert for a second opinion pretty much confirmed to them it was a form of malignant sarcoma and even had they been able to remove her enlarged spleen, it would have done little good since it had spread. And even had it not spread, from my research a cats chances of having a good quality of life even had it not spread after a spleen removal due to either a benign or malignant tumor weren't very good and most didn't usually live much beyond a year even after successful surgery.

I had made the appointment to put her down on Thursday, March 7 a few days prior but she died probably due to either her spleen bursting and bleeding internally to death or her body had just shut down on Wed, March 6. Either way, when I found her in my back bedroom laying on the floor passed away in the corner, I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worse enemy. I had been preparing myself mentally for a couple days to have her put down knowing it was the right thing to do and there wasn't any more we could do, but I kick myself feeling I could have made her passing a bit easier had I been home that day and see her body was shutting down. Maybe her going the way she did saved me the mental anguish of having to go through the trip to vet to have her put to sleep, but I was so mentally out of it even before she died that day, I was about as numb as anyone could be knowing there beloved pet wasn't going to be there the next day.

That was about 2 1/2 months ago now. Since, I adopted a 2 year old cream tabby at the end of March named Olive from a local humane society and just got her a little rambunctious brother in a 9 week old little kitten named Caster this past Sunday. They helped fill the hole in Rosetta's passing for me a little bit, but you never fully forget those times. It gets easier to deal with in time, but March was a pretty dark month for me mentally and really knocked me for a loop which I've still been trying to dig myself out of as far as depression and anxiety go.

I don't envy the decision you have to make, but maybe take a little bit of solace in the fact it's the ultimate act of love you can do for a pet so you don't have to continue to see them wither away and deteriorate and make there suffering all that much more prolonged because you can't let them go. Rosetta's life got cut probably a good five to six years before it should have been, but it happened. I'm sorry you're going through this heart break, but know you're not the only person whose had to make that hard choice. Many of us have. Just be around family if you can because it always helps a bit to have a shoulder to cry on.

 

[zombiekitten]

Thank you two for the comments, it's helped me feel a bit better. I'm still scared, but you've both made me feel like I'm doing the right thing. For my 21st, I will get my first tattoo in memorial of looney, I thought I'd get either a paw print with his name and years, or I'd get an angel cat with his name. I'm going to miss him so much, but I know we will get through this eventually. Thank you both again so much for the replies, it means a lot.

 

[lorie d.]

It's so obvious that you care about your cat Looney and you have done your very best to help him.  But in spite of this Looney is failing and suffering.  When you put him down tomorrow, you will be giving Looney the greatest act of kindness that can ever be given to an animal when all hope is lost.    The actual act of putting him to sleep will be very quiet and peaceful, and don't worry about having a breakdown.  Vets are compassionate people who understand how difficult  it is to let go.  My thoughts will be with you.

 

[catapault]

It doesn't matter if your cat is a year old or 20 years old. This tears a hole in your heart. Let me say that I have been here, I have done this, and it is never easy. You will question yourself again and again. But it is something that is more merciful done a day too soon, much kinder for your cat than a day too late.

 

[donutte]

I'm crying for you right now. Your love for your little guy just shows in your post. Is that Looney in your avatar? He's so beautiful. Just spend time with your boy. Enjoy his company, pet him, sing to him, etc.

 

[zombiekitten]

Thank you, I'm thankful to know there's so many good people here that I can relate too and find comfort in. Knowing I'm not in this alone, and knowing this is the right choice for him makes me feel a lot better. I do love Looney so much, he's the sweetest guy ever. Even while sick he's been so sweet and wants loving. And yes, that is my sweet Looney in my avatar picture. He's an adorable little baby, my boyfriend is out in the garage building him a box to put him in. We will also be buying a head stone for him.

 

[kittens mom]

 
  Hello, this is my first time posting on here.

 I just made an account a few second's ago, so I'm not 100% sure I'm even posting in the right area for this. If not, please let me know and I apologize. My cat Looney got sick a few weeks ago, he was running a 104 fever, wasn't eating as much, not drinking water as much and was just mostly sleeping around. They did all sorts of tests on him, and couldn't find a single thing wrong. Everything was coming back normal, he was put on multiple different antibiotics, and even steroids. Nothing stopped this fever, or even moved it. He constantly stays around 103-104 fever. 

 

  Just almost a week ago, he'd stopped using the bathroom as much, stopped eating and drinking water. I began to force feed him food, since his medication required him to have food on his stomach and I wanted to keep him alive through this in hopes he would make it and fight through it... I force fed him baby food (just plain chicken/broth and stuff like that) and force feed him milk and water. I was forcing medication down his throat, and even after all of that... The fever never broke, and he only get worse. A couple of day's ago I'd noticed he was having a hard time standing. He went to get off the bed, and he fell down because he lost his balance. I called my vet quickly and she said maybe he just got too hot since he was under the cover's. But the wobbling never went away, and now he's gotten to where he's stopped moving. And when he does try and move, he usually ends up falling over on his side, or walks funny or off balanced. I rushed him to the vets, and she looked at him. She said she believes that he has the dry form of FIP. She told me I could spends 100's of dollars to have him cut open, but they may or may not find anything. And we've already spent almost 600 on all the tests and visits just trying to figure out what's wrong.

  So we knew we couldn't afford to have him cut open. My vet also told me if it's FIP, that he's likely to have nerve damage some where and that's why he's wobbling/off balance. She talked to me about maybe us putting him to sleep, because he's only getting worse. So we've chose to do that, we've stopped force feeding him, and giving him his medication... His appointment to be put down is tomorrow, and I'm so heart broken already. I'm so scared of what's going to happen, if it'll hurt, if this is the right choice, if I'm letting him down, if I could do something more for him, if he'll be happier over the rainbow bridge. I don't even know...

I've cried over and over so many time's, I can't even sleep at night now because I can't stop thinking about when that time comes.

His appointment was supposed to be today, but I postponed it for tomorrow because I just wanted another day with him and because I'm so scared... I don't want to let him go, I don't want to feel this pain or for him to be in any pain or feel miserable like he has been. I'm going to miss him so, so much.

  My birthday is on June 12th, it'll be my 21st and he wont be here for it. He's also so very young, he's not even a full year old yet... How do I cope with this? What will I expect to happen when they put him to sleep? I'm so afraid I'll have a horrible mental breakdown at the vets.. I'm so scared for the pain to come, and I'm scared I'll never get over it. We have 3 other cat's, and I can't even look at them or hold them anymore because I'm scared I'll lose them too. I'm so scared for Friday, What do I do? Thank you for reading my long post...

It's going to be OK. Not in the sense it won't hurt you beyond words but you will get though it. Your being there lets you participate in a part of life that happens and can happen to any person or animal. And that is their passing. For your cat it will very quick. After your cat is gone that little body you're holding. And I do encourage you to do that. Is the same little body you loved in life. Most of us choose to hold them for  while before letting the veterinarian take them. If you are taking him home for burial instead of cremation bring a blanket to wrap him in. Others choose to not take the carrier home with them. It sucks walking out with an empty carrier.

You are preforming a duty at the vets office to release your companion from his pain. It is your job to remain calm so that he remains calm. Have someone drive you. You can and will break down at home. Use the love you have for your other cats to comfort them and yourself. We lose them all eventually but that is not the part of their lives we dwell on.

You can arrange for footprints and hair clippings. You will want those later. Most veterinary clinics have a standardized process to guide you through this.

Most of all understand money is not the end factor in treating our pets. Sometimes no amount of money can fix what is wrong.

Everyone who responds to this thread has been there. WE really do understand the fear you feel and the pain. I am so sorry for your coming loss and for your kitty. Always remember because of you he was loved. That is a precious gift.

 

[zombiekitten]

Thank you everyone... We made his box, and we wrote how much we love him on the inside of the top. We drew an angel cat, and a rainbow as well. I will post a picture in a second. Also, we tried leaving him in the hospital and they gave him multiple different medications and fluids. Nothing ever moved his fever.

 

[zombiekitten]

image.jpeg

• zombiekitten
• May 26, 2016

 

[1 bruce 1]

I know it's difficult to believe now, but what a lucky cat to have people who care for him so much.  There are so many out there who would refuse to spend $15 bucks on a cat, because to them "it's just a **** cat."  It makes my blood boil and my heart hurt.

I've lost many, many pets in my lifetime and even though it's hard to believe right now, eventually the hurt fades and the tears (when you think of him) will be replaced with smiles.  I lost a dear pet a few months ago, and the pain is still there...but tending to where he's buried helps.  It's decorated to the nines, and when I weed it or mulch it or re-arrange his stones, garden flags, etc, I talk to him.  I refer to his resting place as his "bed", because in this present life, he loved his bed.  I got some garden fencing (about a foot tall) at a garage sale and fenced it in.  The solar lights make it shine bright every night, and when I sit by the window it's in full view; when it's dark it gives me comfort and makes me smile just a little bit.  I buried him with his special blanket he had all his life (I cut off a corner of it to keep with me) and a cross.  It hurt bad, and sometimes still does, but it subsides.  We never get over them, but we habituate ourselves to living without them in this life. 

Your post really tugged at my heart.  You're not even 21, but you care so deeply for a living thing and as sad as it is, in today's society it seems to be becoming a rare thing.  Too many people consider pets disposable, replaceable, and adopt the "if they live, they live, and if they die, they die" mindset.  When my pet died months ago, I, like you, had a hard time connecting with my others because the fear and knowledge that, some day, I would lose them was almost more than I could bear.  It was a week or better before I found myself really connecting with my group of pets again.  At first, I was a bit irritated because it didn't even seem like they noticed their housemate was gone.  But the more I thought of it, they had been avoiding/ignoring him for a bit.  It wasn't as if they had forgotten him, but they seemed to know the friend that they knew had not been "there" for quite some time.  On the flip side, when one of my dogs practically dropped dead years ago, the other dogs and cats seemed to search and mourn for him for weeks.  Watching them was almost as upsetting.

Years ago I lost a very young cat to a horrible, life destroying disease.  The treatments would have been completely unaffordable, and promised little to no hope of survival or recovery.  Breaking the bank to keep his misery going was something I couldn't do, nor did I want to see his life ended so prematurely.  Life isn't fair, and it sucks.  When their misery overrides our desire to keep them with us, something deep inside us gently tells us what needs to be done.  Again, it sucks!  I know your pain   I wish you peace friend.  Many hugs.

 

[1 bruce 1]

Tears are flowing!!  I love it, and I know Looney would love it too.  (I love the angel kitty, especially!!)

Sending many more hugs.

 

[donutte]

Oh my, that is absolutely beautiful.

 

[ginny]

I'm so sorry @ZombieKitten  for you and the loss of your dear Looney.  Just about everyone here has experienced this loss so we understand everything you're saying, with tears.  I just had a good cry myself.  I was at the place where you are now last July 23.  It does hurt.  I don't think you truly ever are absolutely ok with the loss of a dear pet or a dear family member.  It will get easier in time, but not right now.  Now's the time for the tears.  

Hugs to you.

 

[kittens mom]

How beautiful.

 

[zombiekitten]

Thank you so much everyone... Today is the big day for us, at 3:30pm he will be put to sleep. As time passes, the more and more I become afraid and scared. We buried a big hole for his box, I'm glad you all like the top of his box. I cried while writing, we also wrote our favorite moments on the back. Looney is cherished and loved so very much, We're both going to miss him deeply. I can't help but keep thinking there's something else I could do to help him or save his life... Is this normal? My heart is so very broken, We've done nothing but lay around, cuddle him and eat trying to fill the void we feel in our stomachs.

 

[kittens mom]

 
Thank you so much everyone... Today is the big day for us, at 3:30pm he will be put to sleep. As time passes, the more and more I become afraid and scared. We buried a big hole for his box, I'm glad you all like the top of his box. I cried while writing, we also wrote our favorite moments on the back. Looney is cherished and loved so very much, We're both going to miss him deeply. I can't help but keep thinking there's something else I could do to help him or save his life... Is this normal? My heart is so very broken, We've done nothing but lay around, cuddle him and eat trying to fill the void we feel in our stomachs.

I think this tribute is so wonderful.

It will not be easy. You will find the hidden strength to make sure Looney feels no fear. It's there I promise you.

 

[1 bruce 1]

I am so sorry.  I know it's scary and so very hard. 

"I can't help but keep thinking there's something else I could do to help him or save his life... Is this normal?"

For me and mine...absolutely.  Even animals (and, for that matter, humans) that have been gone from us for years this holds true and I still find myself wondering.  It's not a guilt trip on myself; rather, it's a personal form of continuing education.  If I have an animal with a disease, I try to learn as much as I can about that disease (even if the pet has since passed) so I feel more confident should that disease rear it's ugly head in another friend.   If it's a mystery disease, I learn the symptoms and keep up on the newest findings to the best of my ability.  The solace I get from this is that, for me, one of the best ways to honor a beloved animal's life is to make sure the next animal's life is even better, even if their time is equally short than the previous pets was.  (In a way, it's really no different than how a good parent feels about their children; they want their kids to have a better life than they do or did, and will go above and beyond to ensure that happens.)

Whenever I get a bad report from a vet, I find myself getting a second opinion.  Sometimes, this works.  Sometimes, it does not, and I've found myself grasping at straws, going from clinic to clinic, hoping to find a vet who will have an easy answer or a magic pill to cure all the problems a specific animal has.  After the 3rd or 4th (or 5th, etc) vet telling me my animal's problem is incurable, by conventional or holistic standards, it begins to sink in.  I'm a big believer in homeopathy, herbals, and holistic medicine as a whole.  While I've used conventional medicine with great success, extending and improving the quality of life, I've seen homeopathy and herbs work wonders where conventional medicine couldn't help, or could only mask symptoms leaving the root cause untouched.  As much as I believe in these things, I also believe that in some cases certain things just cannot be helped.  It's a very bitter pill to swallow.  And, if you're even half as stubborn as I am, it's twice as bitter. 

As ridiculous as this sounds, when my animals pass, there's a huge hurt in my soul with a tiny sense of peace (for them) deep down inside.  I hate seeing my pets suffer.  I hate seeing them sick, tired, miserable, and unable to live life as they once knew it.  When they pass, either naturally or with our help, the pain is for me but the peace is for them.  Knowing deep down that the suffering has been relieved pales in comparison to that hurt, but only for awhile.  When that peace emerges, it's comforting...but at the same time, it feels a bit odd to be feeling that peace because of what just happened, if that makes sense.  Everyone is different and everyone has their own ideas about such things, but I cannot articulate how sure I am that there will be some form of a reunion between us and our beloveds (pets and people) when we, too, pass.  When I think about it in passing, it makes me smile, but when I sit and really think it through and imagine how it will be, it feels like Christmas morning anticipation did when I was 5. 

You're in my thoughts today.  I wish there was more I could say to make you feel better, but words are words and can't beat out emotions in a situation like this.  Just know you're in our thoughts and are getting tons of e-hugs.

 

[donutte]

It is completely normal to question yourself both before, and after. You will go through a period of "what-ifs" - just try not to dwell on them because they can eat you alive. Lost two kitties in the last seven months (one of them a month ago tomorrow) and I still wonder sometimes was there something I could have done differently. You just have to allow yourself to grieve, for however long it takes. For some people, for some cats, this can be days, or it can be months or years. The grief gets easier to deal with over time. And at some point, you'll be able to think about the good times, and not about these last few days.

The one thing, with a probable diagnosis of FIP, is that you can be pretty sure that you did everything you could. And that you are doing the best thing for him by giving him the last gift of kindness.

My heart is with both of you today.