Cat Being Aggressive To New Kitten

[Cmb5211]

Hi everyone! I know there are a ton of threads on this topic and I’m pretty sure I’ve read every one but no one seems to circle back and update if it ever worked out! I’m curious if my cats will be able to overcome this or if you can share any tips or success stories you had!

We recently brought a 10 week baby girl kitten, Kiki, (fixed) into our home as a companion for our 1 year old male, Moose, (fixed) and it’s week 3.
The first week she lived in the bedroom and I did everything that everyone suggested to make this successful. By week 2 I felt they were ready to meet and the 30 minute play sessions went well. However, Moose goes from play fighting one minute (mounting, nibbling) to full blown attack mode the next! He bites her so hard on the neck that when I try and separate them she’s still in his jaw when I pick him up and she comes off the floor too!!! It seems at times he can only focus on attacking her and will stare at her, attack, I yell, she hides, tries to come out and repeat! It truly looks like he’s trying to kill her. I’m so discouraged as I can handle the play fighting where she sometimes cries but it seems all in fun as she’ll go back for more. But then other times she’s so scared she’s hissing and her fur stands up. I can’t obviously leave them alone and poor Kiki is so sick of living in a tiny bedroom she cries when i put her back.

I’m currently using Feliway, giving treats near each other, giving 1 on 1 attention but it seems to be getting worse not improving can anyone provide guidance or am I just doomed?

There’s a few stories like this on here and I’d love to know if those have been through it think it will work out or do I throw in the towel she’s such a sweet cat but becoming terrified of him.

Picture for attention (Moose took her out of his mouth long enough for the picture )

 

[Mamanyt1953]

First, IS SHE BLEEDING? If she is not, no matter how frightening this is, Moose has no intention of harming her. Period. And it sounds a WHOLE lot worse than it is. Now, I understand that you don't want your kitten frightened, I do, but if there is no blood, this IS fixable!

What you need to realize is that Moose is the equivalent of about a 15 year old, and KiKi is more the equivalent of a 3 year old. AND Moose has all of the energy and boisterousness of a 15 year old boy without the understanding of the consequences of his actions, or the differences in their strength! He isn't trying to hurt her, he's just at an age where play can be VERY rough, and she isn't ready for that yet.

I really do NOT think that this is doomed, and I also really DO think that in a very few months, once KiKi has some size on her, this will be a very different picture. Now, in the meantime, let them interact when you are there to put a stop to things when they get out of hand. Try taking turns with who gets "put up". Isolate KiKi sometimes, and Moose others. That way, neither of them feels as if the other is being favored or punished (not that cats really "get" punishment...it is lost on them for the most part).

BTW, that photo speaks volumes. These cats can, and generally do, get along. They are content with being in close contact with each other. KiKi just needs a little break from the rough housing once in a while!

 

[Cmb5211]

Thank you so much that makes me feel better! She hasn’t bleed yet even though it sounds like she should be! I guess she’s going to be stuck in the bedroom until she’s big enough to bite him back!

 

[di and bob]

You need to observe HER. Is she scared of him, runs and hides when she sees him? If not, and she approaches him for play, then everything is normal. If he constantly bothers her to the point she can't even come out, yell NO very loudly, pick him up and put him in another room for a ten minute time out. I agree with Mamanyt1953 , no deep sites/scratches that have blood means he is not trying to hurt her, believe me he could. Kittens can be a pest too, and many times the adults are trying to instill manners, especially grabbing the back of the neck and holding still like mama cats do.
For a while at least I would supervise their play and remove the boy or kennel him if he gets too rough. That way they can still interact but not touch. It won't be long before she gives back as much as she gets!

 

[Cmb5211]

Thank you for the advice! She’s super excited to come out of her room and play with him! They usually play good for about 5 minutes and you can tell she’s having fun- she’ll chase him back and try to bite his tail...then out of no where he turns aggressive and gets mean and it’s not fun for her anymore. She cries in pain of being bitten then runs and hides under the couch until I put him away. When I bring him back out she’ll be excited again until the same routine happens. Sometimes he scares her when she’s not paying attention and she’ll hiss and all her little hairs stand up because she’s terrified it’s so sad. I guess I didn’t realize cats play that rough. He does grab her by the neck and just hold her there and won’t let go until I physically pick him up off the group and pry her out of his mouth . What a bully

 

[danteshuman]

Do you know how to force a cat's mouth open? (Sadly I know from prying live birds out of my cat's mouth & giving him pills ) It takes a little work but you can always gently practice on both until you get a hold of it.
How to Open a Cat's Mouth
About their play..... I would intercede when things start to look rough until she is 4 months or so (more of an even match.) I didn't let my older cat show my kitten who was boss (he _gently_ & slowly put his entire mouth around my wee punk's neck.... I freaked.... fearing he might kill him. In retrospect the kitten and my resident cat were calm during this dominance thing.) Flash forward _11 years_ and that wee kitten is still a punk and bullies when he thinks he can get away with it.
So unless your kitten looks panicked or is bleeding or the fur is flying ... I would let it play out.... with supervision. Besides your adult cat probably wants a break from her every once in awhile.

 

[Hellenww]

Have you tried having a play session with Moose before bringing Kiki out to play? A 1 yr old is a ball of energy but maybe it he'll be calmer with Kiki.

 

[danteshuman]

I would often find petting my older calm cat while playing with my hyper little terrorist of a kitten; would even things out. Or in the case of normal kittens, lots of feather torpedo to toss & a ribbon of some kind can keep both cats distracted.
6 or so of these:Petlinks Feather Flips Feathered Ball Cat Toy
If your cat can control their claws:
Petlinks Cutie Mouse Catnip Crinkle Mat Cat Toy, Color Varies
I use a leather cord braided together & tied together ... or a long silk ribbon they only get with supervision.
Petlinks Cutie Mouse Catnip Crinkle Mat Cat Toy, Color Varies

 

[Cmb5211]

Thank you all! I am noticing that the more energy he has the worse it is so I’ve been trying to tire him out more! Not much progress has been made unfortunately, he’s still being a bully. I will definitely keep them separated until she’s big enough to stand up for herself. It looks like this may be the case for awhile.

 

[rubysmama]

I just came across this thread, and though I don't have any advice to offer, I had to post to acknowledge that adorable picture. Love Kiki's little head tilt, and Moose's "what am I going to do with that kid?" look on his face.

I can imagine Moose picking Kiki up in his mouth is horrifying to witness, but they certainly look like best buds in the making, if that picture is any indication.

Welcome to TCS, btw.

EDIT TO ADD: Here's an article that might be helpful: How To Stop Playtime Aggression In Cats

 

[Cmb5211]

Haha thank you!! We’re pretty lucky these cuties are ours!!!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Keep us posted on how they are progressing! I continue to think that they are going to get along famously when the sizes are just a bit more equal. Should I happen to have a visit from the Idea Fairy, with some new approach, you will know right away!

COME ON, IDEA FAIRY! Oh...this is what she looks like:

 

[Cmb5211]

Just wanted to check in and let you know things have gotten so much better!!! Kiki can now be in the house roaming with Moose all day and they are okay! We still keep her separated at night just to give Moose space because it seems like she never stops! Thanks again everyone, week 4 and feeding besides each other did the trick!

 

[rubysmama]

Thanks for the update. Great to hear things are much better. Kiki's probably gotten bigger and braver too, in the 4 weeks you've had her.

I just had to look at your picture again. It's one of the best cat pics I've ever seen. You should make it your avatar pic.
How To Change Your Avatar?

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I just knew this was going to work out fine! Now, stick around, and post LOTS of pics of those two dolls!