- Joined
- Jul 7, 2022
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I have struggled with posting this for a couple of days now. Some of you already know our story from my other threads where I introduced us and then about Casey's cancer. But I wanted to share this here. I'm not quite sure if I should focus on her life or on her passing, but since this is the Crossing the Bridge forum, I guess I should tell the story of her passing.
Casey was the most precious, loving, expressive, wonderful ginger female, 15 years old. As you probably know, ginger females are rare, and she knew she was special alright!
I adopted her from my next-door neighbor who is elderly and has dementia and could no longer care for her two years ago, right before COVID hit. She has been my best friend and companion every day since then. When we found her outside and confirmed who she was, we noticed she had a small bump on her chest. I thought maybe it was a tick. When we took her to the vet for the first time, the vet said it was a cyst. It stayed small and the same for the first 1 1/2 years she was with us. She always got a clean bill of health at her 6 month checks with perfect bloodwork. Although I noticed that this group of vets never examined her very closely, and seemed to be almost afraid of her. She was grumpy and did not like being examined, but she was old and my neighbor had not taken her to the vet in years due to his condition. I should have listened to my gut and gone with a different veterinarian. But this place had the highest ratings and accolades in my part of town! 
This February, I noticed the bump had grown and started bleeding. I took her in to the vet, and he said it wasn't a cyst (um, your colleague said it was) and that it needed to be removed. She did pretty well with this first surgery, or so it seemed. But the lump came back, this time more than one, almost immediately, and broke through the skin and started bleeding/oozing again. The pathology report said it was "either mammary adenocarcinoma or a sweat gland carcinoma". How could they not be more specific? The vet said he thought it was a sweat gland because he thought it was too high up to be a mammary gland. Everything I read online looked like mammary though. I should have gotten a second opinion then, but again, I was trusting this vet and also worrying very much about costs at this point. I took her back to the vet and he recommended another surgery, this time going "wider and deeper". I should never have let him do this, but I was just desperate to save my baby at this point. That was 3 weeks ago. She came home from that surgery and was never the same. She went down every single day. Stopped eating. Stopped sitting next to me on the couch. Just hiding and coming out every now and then to get my attention. She was crying for help then, but I didn't know it. The vet kept throwing stuff at her to try to perk her up: appetite stimulants, steroid shots. Of course, nothing helped. She suffered so, so much, and needlessly. I was out of my mind at this point, and calling the vet almost every day. I felt he and his staff pulling away from me (not that they were very nice or compassionate to start out with), like I was crazy. Finally, he said he couldn't do anything else, so I should think about euthanasia. I panicked, realizing I had waited too late, and brought her in that day. The vet was walking out of the clinic to go home 5 minutes after I talked to him on the phone. I asked the receptionist, "Who is going to do it?" and she said, "I guess Dr. W". I was shocked, but I said, "OK, I guess it doesn't matter". We were put in a cold exam room and the vet who was still there came in and said she was going to give Casey something to sedate her first. Well, guess what. It didn't work. Casey paced the room anxious and never went to sleep. They never came in and checked on us. I finally knocked on the door and said, "My cat is not falling asleep! She is upset!". The vet came in and nonchalantly said, "Oh, that happens sometimes, she just needs a higher dose". I said, "No, I'm taking my cat home". She looked at me like I was insane, and rudely said, "The fact that she didn't go to sleep doesn't say anything about her health". I had a massive panic attack on the way home. I don't know how I drove.
The next day I called around desperately trying to find a feline-friendly clinic. I found one through a link provided here by a member. I called them, and unfortunately, they couldn't get her in that day, but the girl on the phone showed me more compassion in a two-minute phone conversation than the other people had shown me and Casey in 2 years. She gave me 3 other clinics that they refer people to when they can't see urgent cases. I struck out until the 3rd call, and then found someone who could see Casey that day. She was an angel sent by God, I have no doubt. She confirmed the worst- that Casey did have mammary adenocarcinoma, and that I was dangerously close to having waited too long. Casey barely had any breath sounds at this point.
She told me that I could take her home to spend one more night if I wanted, but that I needed to make the decision within the next few days. I took her home because I was still in shock and I wanted to see if my son and daughter wanted to go with me. They didn't. The next morning, Casey's breathing was even worse, so I rushed her into that clinic immediately. They were waiting for me in the parking lot. They ushered me in and helped Casey go quickly and painlessly on Thursday of this week. The vet cried herself and asked if she could hug me. She said she could see how much I loved her and said I did a great thing for her. It is amazing how much showing compassion and giving straight facts and advice makes a difference and allows you to think clearly. I will be thankful to God forever for leading me to this good veterinarian at the end. if I had stuck with the other place, I don't think I could have ever recovered from this. I still don't know if I will. I am so traumatized by the whole thing. Losing a pet is horrific enough, but to be tortured and given the run around like this for weeks, months even, makes it 1000x worse.
Oh, Casey, I miss and love you so much. The pain is unbearable. I am so sorry you suffered so much at the end due to incompetence and because I trusted the wrong people. Please forgive me and know how much you were loved and will always be loved and never, ever forgotten. You were truly my soul-mate cat and I can never even think of replacing you. Please rest at peace, my precious angel.
Casey was the most precious, loving, expressive, wonderful ginger female, 15 years old. As you probably know, ginger females are rare, and she knew she was special alright!
I adopted her from my next-door neighbor who is elderly and has dementia and could no longer care for her two years ago, right before COVID hit. She has been my best friend and companion every day since then. When we found her outside and confirmed who she was, we noticed she had a small bump on her chest. I thought maybe it was a tick. When we took her to the vet for the first time, the vet said it was a cyst. It stayed small and the same for the first 1 1/2 years she was with us. She always got a clean bill of health at her 6 month checks with perfect bloodwork. Although I noticed that this group of vets never examined her very closely, and seemed to be almost afraid of her. She was grumpy and did not like being examined, but she was old and my neighbor had not taken her to the vet in years due to his condition. I should have listened to my gut and gone with a different veterinarian. But this place had the highest ratings and accolades in my part of town! This February, I noticed the bump had grown and started bleeding. I took her in to the vet, and he said it wasn't a cyst (um, your colleague said it was) and that it needed to be removed. She did pretty well with this first surgery, or so it seemed. But the lump came back, this time more than one, almost immediately, and broke through the skin and started bleeding/oozing again. The pathology report said it was "either mammary adenocarcinoma or a sweat gland carcinoma". How could they not be more specific? The vet said he thought it was a sweat gland because he thought it was too high up to be a mammary gland. Everything I read online looked like mammary though. I should have gotten a second opinion then, but again, I was trusting this vet and also worrying very much about costs at this point. I took her back to the vet and he recommended another surgery, this time going "wider and deeper". I should never have let him do this, but I was just desperate to save my baby at this point. That was 3 weeks ago. She came home from that surgery and was never the same. She went down every single day. Stopped eating. Stopped sitting next to me on the couch. Just hiding and coming out every now and then to get my attention. She was crying for help then, but I didn't know it. The vet kept throwing stuff at her to try to perk her up: appetite stimulants, steroid shots. Of course, nothing helped. She suffered so, so much, and needlessly. I was out of my mind at this point, and calling the vet almost every day. I felt he and his staff pulling away from me (not that they were very nice or compassionate to start out with), like I was crazy. Finally, he said he couldn't do anything else, so I should think about euthanasia. I panicked, realizing I had waited too late, and brought her in that day. The vet was walking out of the clinic to go home 5 minutes after I talked to him on the phone. I asked the receptionist, "Who is going to do it?" and she said, "I guess Dr. W". I was shocked, but I said, "OK, I guess it doesn't matter". We were put in a cold exam room and the vet who was still there came in and said she was going to give Casey something to sedate her first. Well, guess what. It didn't work. Casey paced the room anxious and never went to sleep. They never came in and checked on us. I finally knocked on the door and said, "My cat is not falling asleep! She is upset!". The vet came in and nonchalantly said, "Oh, that happens sometimes, she just needs a higher dose". I said, "No, I'm taking my cat home". She looked at me like I was insane, and rudely said, "The fact that she didn't go to sleep doesn't say anything about her health". I had a massive panic attack on the way home. I don't know how I drove.
The next day I called around desperately trying to find a feline-friendly clinic. I found one through a link provided here by a member. I called them, and unfortunately, they couldn't get her in that day, but the girl on the phone showed me more compassion in a two-minute phone conversation than the other people had shown me and Casey in 2 years. She gave me 3 other clinics that they refer people to when they can't see urgent cases. I struck out until the 3rd call, and then found someone who could see Casey that day. She was an angel sent by God, I have no doubt. She confirmed the worst- that Casey did have mammary adenocarcinoma, and that I was dangerously close to having waited too long. Casey barely had any breath sounds at this point.
She told me that I could take her home to spend one more night if I wanted, but that I needed to make the decision within the next few days. I took her home because I was still in shock and I wanted to see if my son and daughter wanted to go with me. They didn't. The next morning, Casey's breathing was even worse, so I rushed her into that clinic immediately. They were waiting for me in the parking lot. They ushered me in and helped Casey go quickly and painlessly on Thursday of this week. The vet cried herself and asked if she could hug me. She said she could see how much I loved her and said I did a great thing for her. It is amazing how much showing compassion and giving straight facts and advice makes a difference and allows you to think clearly. I will be thankful to God forever for leading me to this good veterinarian at the end. if I had stuck with the other place, I don't think I could have ever recovered from this. I still don't know if I will. I am so traumatized by the whole thing. Losing a pet is horrific enough, but to be tortured and given the run around like this for weeks, months even, makes it 1000x worse.Oh, Casey, I miss and love you so much. The pain is unbearable. I am so sorry you suffered so much at the end due to incompetence and because I trusted the wrong people. Please forgive me and know how much you were loved and will always be loved and never, ever forgotten. You were truly my soul-mate cat and I can never even think of replacing you. Please rest at peace, my precious angel.
You can see the difference in her overall expression from outside vs. inside with you. In that last picture she doesn't look 13 at all, she looks like a much younger cat. That face says she was so relaxed, and felt so cozy, safe, and happy with you. 
