- Joined
- Oct 25, 2012
- Messages
- 109
- Purraise
- 23
Well,
It's been a year and a half since I lost my Tabby to CHF. I try to remember only the good times, but after all this time I am still haunted by that horrible day and the course of events that took place. It was such a whirlwind. One moment he was here, the next we were at the vet and he was scared and in terrible pain. He was a ferral cat so he was always afraid of the vet. He climbed up and clung to my shoulder and I wish I could have just taken him home and let him die in my arms. I was so scared and shocked by how quickly things turned. The vet said he had thrown a blood clot that had paralyzed his rear legs and he was in a lot of pain. I'll never know if he was in pain or not. He started going into shock at the vet's office and they gave him gas to put him under to calm him down because they said any pain meds would take too long to kick in. They didn't offer any hope and he was in end stage heart failure with a thrombosis. I made the decision not to revive him. He had already been through so much over 2 yrs. I had promised him I wouldn't put him through any more. I've already posted all of this when it happened, but coming up on his one and a half year anniversary of crossing over is bringing up all of the memories of that day. He didn't go peacefully in my arms, he was petrified and for once, I couldn't do anything to take his fear away. He left this world in pain and scared, and I couldn't help him. I don't know what else I could have done, it all happened in in the blink of any eye.. I came home in shock afterwards. I've never gotten over how it all went down that day. I can't forgive myself. I miss him so much and I feel that somehow I betrayed him. Here come the tears again.
It's been a year and a half since I lost my Tabby to CHF. I try to remember only the good times, but after all this time I am still haunted by that horrible day and the course of events that took place. It was such a whirlwind. One moment he was here, the next we were at the vet and he was scared and in terrible pain. He was a ferral cat so he was always afraid of the vet. He climbed up and clung to my shoulder and I wish I could have just taken him home and let him die in my arms. I was so scared and shocked by how quickly things turned. The vet said he had thrown a blood clot that had paralyzed his rear legs and he was in a lot of pain. I'll never know if he was in pain or not. He started going into shock at the vet's office and they gave him gas to put him under to calm him down because they said any pain meds would take too long to kick in. They didn't offer any hope and he was in end stage heart failure with a thrombosis. I made the decision not to revive him. He had already been through so much over 2 yrs. I had promised him I wouldn't put him through any more. I've already posted all of this when it happened, but coming up on his one and a half year anniversary of crossing over is bringing up all of the memories of that day. He didn't go peacefully in my arms, he was petrified and for once, I couldn't do anything to take his fear away. He left this world in pain and scared, and I couldn't help him. I don't know what else I could have done, it all happened in in the blink of any eye.. I came home in shock afterwards. I've never gotten over how it all went down that day. I can't forgive myself. I miss him so much and I feel that somehow I betrayed him. Here come the tears again.