I'm just curious if anyone ever feels their attachment to their cat borders on unhealthy? Sometimes I think my attachment to my cat Sonny is, other times I think it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
When he's sick, I am sick with worry. I obsess over it. One time he was hospitalized overnight and when the clinic closed I drove there and just sat in my car outside the clinic for two hours crying because I imagined how scared he must be all alone in the dark in a cage. He got out for the first time ever last September and I walked around the neighborhood all night and all day, crying and hugging strangers and begging them to help me find him. I went to the copy store to make flyers and sobbed the whole time. I went to McDonald's and sobbed the whole time. Keep in mind this was when he was gone less than 10 hours (ultimately he was back in about 22 hours but it felt like an ETERNITY). All I could think about is that this wasn't how I imagined his life would end, somewhere cold, scared, and alone, or that someone might hurt him. My sister, who was responsible for accidentally letting him out (leaving not one but TWO doors open somehow), had my wrath come down on her and I basically told her if I didn't find him or if he was found dead I would leave and never forgive her. And part of me thinks I would've actually done that. I love my sister very much, I practically raised her, but she has no respect for my bond with Sonny. She didn't even help look for him. Luckily he came back but I was a complete nervous wreck during those 22 hours.
He's been more loyal to me than any person in my life in the last 14 years. When he's scared he doesn't run and hide, he comes to me. He jumps in my lap and lets me comfort him. He sleeps next to me every night, under the covers when it's winter and on my shoulder when it's summer with his face on my chest and body next to my head. When I'm upset, it's like he senses it and always comes to me and head butts me and reminds me that, to him, I'm basically his everything. He even gives me kisses. He is stand offish to everyone else, but when it comes to me he's like a dog who needs constant love and attention. When I come home from going somewhere, he's always standing in the doorway as if he was waiting for me the whole time (he's deaf so he can't hear the car or anything like that).
Between 2010-2012 I was experiencing severe depression and every time I thought about ending things I knew I couldn't leave Sonny behind, and because he was older he would probably be pts before his time and considered unadoptable. So I had to hang in there, because I couldn't fail him. And maybe it's egotistical of me to assume he can love only me and would never bond with anyone else but I imagined how confused and scared he'd be if I was gone after all those years being so attached to me. So like, literally, having Sonny saved my life. And I know that sounds sweet but is that rational? That I didn't consider my family, my friends, my destination, or anything else?
I've never felt this close to a cat and I really don't know how I'm going to function when he's gone. That might not be for awhile now, although he was recently diagnosed with asthma, but I've been obsessing over it for several days since he had a severe asthma attack that I thought he wasn't going to come out of. I'm so afraid of going to sleep and having him go to the litterbox and somewhere along the way have an attack and die alone. I guess that's the thing, I want to be there for him when he goes, and I'm scared to death I won't be. Almost to the point it feels unhealthy.
I've read a lot of threads on here where people have been as attached to their cats as I am, and devastated when they lose them or freaking out when their cat is hurt. So I know I'm not a complete anomaly. But I feel like I might be too attached to him, to the point where I might not function very well when he does go (whether I'm with him or not). I'm so glad to have him and know he has blessed my life and I don't regret that at all, but I value him more than things and people that I probably should care about more.
Am I overthinking this? Am I SUPPOSED to feel this way, as a good pet owner? Or am I too emotionally attached to him?
When he's sick, I am sick with worry. I obsess over it. One time he was hospitalized overnight and when the clinic closed I drove there and just sat in my car outside the clinic for two hours crying because I imagined how scared he must be all alone in the dark in a cage. He got out for the first time ever last September and I walked around the neighborhood all night and all day, crying and hugging strangers and begging them to help me find him. I went to the copy store to make flyers and sobbed the whole time. I went to McDonald's and sobbed the whole time. Keep in mind this was when he was gone less than 10 hours (ultimately he was back in about 22 hours but it felt like an ETERNITY). All I could think about is that this wasn't how I imagined his life would end, somewhere cold, scared, and alone, or that someone might hurt him. My sister, who was responsible for accidentally letting him out (leaving not one but TWO doors open somehow), had my wrath come down on her and I basically told her if I didn't find him or if he was found dead I would leave and never forgive her. And part of me thinks I would've actually done that. I love my sister very much, I practically raised her, but she has no respect for my bond with Sonny. She didn't even help look for him. Luckily he came back but I was a complete nervous wreck during those 22 hours.
He's been more loyal to me than any person in my life in the last 14 years. When he's scared he doesn't run and hide, he comes to me. He jumps in my lap and lets me comfort him. He sleeps next to me every night, under the covers when it's winter and on my shoulder when it's summer with his face on my chest and body next to my head. When I'm upset, it's like he senses it and always comes to me and head butts me and reminds me that, to him, I'm basically his everything. He even gives me kisses. He is stand offish to everyone else, but when it comes to me he's like a dog who needs constant love and attention. When I come home from going somewhere, he's always standing in the doorway as if he was waiting for me the whole time (he's deaf so he can't hear the car or anything like that).
Between 2010-2012 I was experiencing severe depression and every time I thought about ending things I knew I couldn't leave Sonny behind, and because he was older he would probably be pts before his time and considered unadoptable. So I had to hang in there, because I couldn't fail him. And maybe it's egotistical of me to assume he can love only me and would never bond with anyone else but I imagined how confused and scared he'd be if I was gone after all those years being so attached to me. So like, literally, having Sonny saved my life. And I know that sounds sweet but is that rational? That I didn't consider my family, my friends, my destination, or anything else?
I've never felt this close to a cat and I really don't know how I'm going to function when he's gone. That might not be for awhile now, although he was recently diagnosed with asthma, but I've been obsessing over it for several days since he had a severe asthma attack that I thought he wasn't going to come out of. I'm so afraid of going to sleep and having him go to the litterbox and somewhere along the way have an attack and die alone. I guess that's the thing, I want to be there for him when he goes, and I'm scared to death I won't be. Almost to the point it feels unhealthy.
I've read a lot of threads on here where people have been as attached to their cats as I am, and devastated when they lose them or freaking out when their cat is hurt. So I know I'm not a complete anomaly. But I feel like I might be too attached to him, to the point where I might not function very well when he does go (whether I'm with him or not). I'm so glad to have him and know he has blessed my life and I don't regret that at all, but I value him more than things and people that I probably should care about more.
Am I overthinking this? Am I SUPPOSED to feel this way, as a good pet owner? Or am I too emotionally attached to him?