Can Anyone Help Explain This Behavior?

[NurseToBe]

Hi! About a month ago, my sweet cat of 15 years passed away. About 3 weeks ago, we finally decided to adopt another kitten from a shelter. I fell in love with a 4-month-old Siamese kitten(he's mixed, but predominately Siamese). The only thing is that he is semi-feral, which we knew when we took him home. The first few days he hid, of course, like most cats do when first introduced. About a week later, he really started coming out of his shell. He loves to be petted, purrs very loudly, and sometimes even sits in our lap! However, some days it seems like he has regressed. Yesterday, he was very eager to be next us, loving and purring. Today, he seemed to be skittish again. Walking up to him is still a problem with him at times. He does not like to be picked up either right now, so I've stopped trying for quite a while. He was getting a little better about walking up to him to pet him, but some days this week, he still ran from us. I'm sure he's still scared, but I'm just confused as to why most of the time he seems to be getting better, then starts acting somewhat skittish again. When he starts being skittish again, I get discouraged and frustrated, but I remember that he can't help it. Can anyone help explain why he is doing ok, then gets skittish again some days? All I know is that he wasn't at the shelter for long, and I think they said that he (as well has his siblings) were picked up by animal rescue. They did not have time to socialize much with him. Is time really the only thing we can rely on at the moment? We give him plenty of space as well, so it's not like we are constantly trying to pet and bother him. I'm at work and college for some of the day and my parents are at work, so he has a few hours to himself most of the time. We are doing our best to socialize him and help him not be afraid anymore. Any tips would be great.

 

[Kieka]

With undersocialized cats it's two steps forward and one step back. The best thing you can do for him is what you already are. Just be there, love him and talk to him. My girl was feral and she did, and still does, the same thing. It gets less frequent with time. Sometimes you can figure out the trigger and sometimes it is something only they notice.

Most of the triggers I noticed with Rocket were sudden changes at the house, other critters coming around and when people came over loudly. It varies with cats but the basic idea is there is little to prevent them and it's more reassuring after.

Rockets been with us for nearly three years now. My brother's girlfriend brought over her 5 year old son the other day. Rocket handled it amazinly well and recovered quickly. I know if that had happened a year ago it would have been days of skittish behavior after. It does get better with time. Don't give up.

 

[Furballsmom]

Is time really the only thing we can rely on at the moment

Baby MEEZER - there goes my heart yet again
Well, pretty much, but take a look at a couple of articles - there may be something that helps a bit. Even though the titles might not seem appropriate there are other article links embedded and can be helpful;
By the way, I think you're doing really well, and that baby meezer will be ruling your house in no time
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me
Playing With Your Cat: 10 Things You Need To Know
9 Tips That Will Help Your Kitten Adapt To A New Apartment
How To Make Your Home Bigger (at Least For Your Cats)
First-time Cat Owner's Guide
How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home

 

[trudy1]

I’ve always thought that time to a cat doesn’t have a great deal of meaning. So while they value things in there place just like it was yesterday I don’t know if they decide “I acted this way yesterday so today I’ll do the same.” Anything can break the cycle. Your moods, timing of a reach for him, or those minute changes he senses your not even aware of. Trust, love and a sense of safety is what will happen over time. His decision, not yours.
When you realize he’s a 4 month old from a shelter and within a week home with you he was allowing touch, purring and sitting on your lap...I’d say that’s a wow!
So be glad and celebrate those really really good days when he tosses you those special “crumbs of love”. More will come.
I learned this from Henry. A large male who just showed up on our doorstep and invited himself in. We live in the country so I assume he was a barn cat for some farmer turned house cat for us. Now, after a year, is Loving, head butts, purrs and a lap cat for hours...today....but tomorrow, maybe not so much. Won’t be your lap cat for anything. So I whine around and threaten to “get a kitten”...the next day he decides to throw me a bone and crawl up in my lap for hours.

Time and patience....you, not him.

Keep us posted please.

 

[NurseToBe]

Thank you everyone! He is a sweet little thing. We are giving him all the love in the world. Thank you all so much!! Very helpful. I will try to keep posted in the future!

 

[Furballsmom]

Please do if you can - we love to hear follow-ups