Hello All!
I was very happy to find an active forum with some knowledgeable people to run this by!
I recently moved in with my boyfriend and need a little help from an outside eye in blending our households and pets. We have one cranky girl who is struggling. I will try and give you as much info as possible without writing a novel!
My critters:
Lancelot - fixed male, main coon mix, ex feral roughly 8 years old. Has at least one litter of kittens in the world from his time as a feral Tom. Pretty impeccable social skills having grown up in a cat colony. Vocal, loves everyone (even the dog).
Figaro - fixed male, domestic shorthair mutt, also roughly 8 years old. Shelter rescue. A little goobery and always just on the edge of overweight (I work on it, promise). Generally very accepting and friendly with everyone. Tolerates and happily coexists with everyone. Can be a tad overzealous in new meetings. (wants to run right up and be best buds! Except the dog, tolerates the dog and happily coexists with her but doesn't really "like" her)
Lucy - doberman mix, 10 years old. Stray off the street rescue as a puppy. Excellent bite inhibition, great with cats, knows the command "leave kitty" and generally won't bother them. Buds with Lancelot, tries to be buds with Figaro.
His critter:
Kaia - purebred f7 bengal. Female, fixed. Not sure on her age at this moment but mature (probably close to my boys) has lived with another cat (they had another hybrid) but had a tendency to pick on her. but she slept with the other cat (Kara, has since passed away of an auto immune disease). But her social skills don't seem to great. my BF says she doesn't know how to cat. A bit neurotic and anxious. definitely hates the dog. (note she is super picky and not food motivated and ignores treats).
The backround:
My two boys are pretty much best buds, sleep together, mutually groom, all the normal play (they can play a tad rough, they are both males. but its always very mutual with roles swapping and no hissing or growling and breaks and all of the above). We kept everyone in separate rooms and did scent swapping, slow intros, all that Jazz. I don't believe either of my cats has hissed at her once. They have always shown her pleasant and welcoming body language from everything I can tell. But her body language is odd. For example, she will run up to Lancelot, all happy and meowing and no hair up and go right to sniff noses. Then, with her nose basically still touching his, just start hissing in his face. She doesn't move, or go puffy, just... hiss. Luckily Lancelot is a good boy and basically just freezes, waits for her to finish, and then she walks off. and he looks around a bit like, "what just happened?"
The problem:
We waited until she didn't do the above hissing thing on meeting, and then slowly let them spend more time out together. And she has taken to chasing the boys, especially Figaro. with Lancelot he just runs off and has no issue coming right back around her later. although I don't see full on play chase with swapping roles. He hasn't chased her back that I have seen. Figaro, however, seems scared of her. Not hugely like he's cowering under a couch, but it definitely seems to shake him. When she does it, generally there is no puffy tail, and no hissing involved. But once in while there is. Usually when something startles/surprises her (such as figaro running up the stairs ahead of the BF, he ran into the upstairs landing, somewhat startling her, and she gave chase, with a hiss and a few swats and apparently a tuft of hair or two, but no physical wounds on figaro, and he was sleeping on the couch a few minutes later). Whats happening that worries me is Figaro is looking for her coming and slinking about or trying to run past the bedroom door. So I'm not sure if him being nervous and running is just triggering prey drive type chase, or she is bullying a bit, or she just doesn't signal play well from a body language perspective. If he wasn't showing the fear signs I wouldn't worry about this at all. I mention the dog partially to give you a complete picture, but partially because Kaia definitely thinks we moved a monster into the house. And I wonder if that stress may be contributing to her chasing the other cats.
The setup:
Cat tree and litterbox for my boys in my room. Cat tree and litterbox for Kaia in BF's room. Additional cat tree (huge thing too) downstairs. Eventually there will be another litterbox downstairs once we are fully unpacked. no one is out together when we are not home. All cats are indoor only.
I was very happy to find an active forum with some knowledgeable people to run this by!
I recently moved in with my boyfriend and need a little help from an outside eye in blending our households and pets. We have one cranky girl who is struggling. I will try and give you as much info as possible without writing a novel!
My critters:
Lancelot - fixed male, main coon mix, ex feral roughly 8 years old. Has at least one litter of kittens in the world from his time as a feral Tom. Pretty impeccable social skills having grown up in a cat colony. Vocal, loves everyone (even the dog).
Figaro - fixed male, domestic shorthair mutt, also roughly 8 years old. Shelter rescue. A little goobery and always just on the edge of overweight (I work on it, promise). Generally very accepting and friendly with everyone. Tolerates and happily coexists with everyone. Can be a tad overzealous in new meetings. (wants to run right up and be best buds! Except the dog, tolerates the dog and happily coexists with her but doesn't really "like" her)
Lucy - doberman mix, 10 years old. Stray off the street rescue as a puppy. Excellent bite inhibition, great with cats, knows the command "leave kitty" and generally won't bother them. Buds with Lancelot, tries to be buds with Figaro.
His critter:
Kaia - purebred f7 bengal. Female, fixed. Not sure on her age at this moment but mature (probably close to my boys) has lived with another cat (they had another hybrid) but had a tendency to pick on her. but she slept with the other cat (Kara, has since passed away of an auto immune disease). But her social skills don't seem to great. my BF says she doesn't know how to cat. A bit neurotic and anxious. definitely hates the dog. (note she is super picky and not food motivated and ignores treats).
The backround:
My two boys are pretty much best buds, sleep together, mutually groom, all the normal play (they can play a tad rough, they are both males. but its always very mutual with roles swapping and no hissing or growling and breaks and all of the above). We kept everyone in separate rooms and did scent swapping, slow intros, all that Jazz. I don't believe either of my cats has hissed at her once. They have always shown her pleasant and welcoming body language from everything I can tell. But her body language is odd. For example, she will run up to Lancelot, all happy and meowing and no hair up and go right to sniff noses. Then, with her nose basically still touching his, just start hissing in his face. She doesn't move, or go puffy, just... hiss. Luckily Lancelot is a good boy and basically just freezes, waits for her to finish, and then she walks off. and he looks around a bit like, "what just happened?"
The problem:
We waited until she didn't do the above hissing thing on meeting, and then slowly let them spend more time out together. And she has taken to chasing the boys, especially Figaro. with Lancelot he just runs off and has no issue coming right back around her later. although I don't see full on play chase with swapping roles. He hasn't chased her back that I have seen. Figaro, however, seems scared of her. Not hugely like he's cowering under a couch, but it definitely seems to shake him. When she does it, generally there is no puffy tail, and no hissing involved. But once in while there is. Usually when something startles/surprises her (such as figaro running up the stairs ahead of the BF, he ran into the upstairs landing, somewhat startling her, and she gave chase, with a hiss and a few swats and apparently a tuft of hair or two, but no physical wounds on figaro, and he was sleeping on the couch a few minutes later). Whats happening that worries me is Figaro is looking for her coming and slinking about or trying to run past the bedroom door. So I'm not sure if him being nervous and running is just triggering prey drive type chase, or she is bullying a bit, or she just doesn't signal play well from a body language perspective. If he wasn't showing the fear signs I wouldn't worry about this at all. I mention the dog partially to give you a complete picture, but partially because Kaia definitely thinks we moved a monster into the house. And I wonder if that stress may be contributing to her chasing the other cats.
The setup:
Cat tree and litterbox for my boys in my room. Cat tree and litterbox for Kaia in BF's room. Additional cat tree (huge thing too) downstairs. Eventually there will be another litterbox downstairs once we are fully unpacked. no one is out together when we are not home. All cats are indoor only.
