Biting and teaching kids

[cuddlemum]

Hello just wanted some ideas, we bought a male cat over two weeks ago and it's been great for the most part and for the whole family.
We have a little problem though with my seven year old daughter, she is super excited about having a cat and she is the main reason we bought a cat as she loves them so much. Anyway she is in his face a lot and for the most part he tolerates it, but sometimes he bites, not hard and hasn't really drawn blood, but she can't seem to see the signs of him getting annoyed even when I have told her. She was really upset tonight as he bit her as she was trying to pick him up again after I have told her to leave him and she was in tears and he did leave a mark looks more like a scratch without blood but he did bite her.

Does anyone else have the same problem with their kids? And how do I deal with it.


I know it's more than likely just a warning bite but I don't want to keep seeing her in tears. Most of the time he does it , there isn't even a mark. The RSPCA told us he wasn't suitable as he scratches but he doesn't scratch besides when annoyed. They never said anything about biting. Taking him back isn't something we are prepared to do as I don't want to do that.
I am thinking maybe the owners had him may have had a child that hurt him around her age as he doesn't do that with my older daughter but she leaves him alone. And he isn't like that with me unless I am brushing him which he is tolerating better know and again no blood.
Any ideas would be great.

 

[di and bob]

You can start out by explaining the cat is new and scared and needs time to it's self for a while to be more comfortable around her. Her tears should be a time for you to explain that the cat is trying to tell her to leave him alone at that time, he still is her friend and may want to play in a different way, but does not want to be picked up right then. You should let your daughter learn the consequences of her actions when she chooses to ignore the warning signs of a cat that is trying to tell her to leave him alone.She has to learn to be gentle with animals and to know when they do not want to play, she is old enough to realize this and to listen to advise and instructions from adults. I'm a little concerned she continues to pick up the cat after the bites, it may be time to tell her no more picking up the cat for a while and just petting him, this is a living animal with feelings, not a toy.  I know it is very hard for a seven year old to rein  in her enthusiasm, but as she gets more used to having this new addition to the house she will lose such extreme interest and turn to other play. The cat is new and scared too, two weeks in a new house is not long at all. He is obviously giving her warning bites, and she should back off immediately before it becomes worse. Let her play with the cat with a wand or string, or gently brush him, or feed him so he associates her with good things. I know it's hard for her, but it's a good learning experience to know that good things come with patience and soft words. Time will help, the cat will become more comfortable in her presence, and she will learn the wonderful experience of having a living creature as her companion.  

 

[r-kins]

Maybe try to explain to her how the cat is feeling? Like "The kitty is new here and doesn't know you. And to him, you're big and scary. Imagine how you would feel if a giant you didn't know well was always trying to grab you. So be very gentle with him and let him come to you when he feels safe." You could make her the designated treat giver since she's the one that really wanted him. He'll probably warm up to her a little quicker if she's the one giving treats. And say the cat is a friend, not a toy. If she draws or reads a book near him, he'll get used to her presence and see her as someone he can relax around. Plus, some cats just don't like being picked up and she may never be able to do that without him getting upset.

 

[Columbine]

You might find this article helpful. [article="0"][/article]
Your daughter absolutely has to learn to respect the cat's space and boundaries. Cats are not toys! I would make it very clear to your daughter that getting overexcited, picking the cat up etc is not allowed , with consequences from you if she oversteps the mark - regardless of whether or not the cat has provided her own form of 'punishment'. Clear, enforced boundaries are the way to go, especially with such a new cat.

Let your daughter be part of the cat's day by helping to feed her and teaching her how to play with her. This will build positive associations from the cat's perspective, and allow your daughter to feel involved and learn to enjoy the cat in the right way.[article="0"][/article][article="0"][/article]
The first cat I ever had as a child (I was 3 when we got her) was VERY touchy, and would 'turn' with virtually no warning when stroked (purr, purr, purr, hiss & hit ). Even being so young, I very quickly learned to respect her space and keep my distance. I'm sure your daughter will learn this too

 

[ohws]

...

Does anyone else have the same problem with their kids? And how do I deal with it.


I know it's more than likely just a warning bite but I don't want to keep seeing her in tears. Most of the time he does it , there isn't even a mark. The RSPCA told us he wasn't suitable as he scratches but he doesn't scratch besides when annoyed. They never said anything about biting. Taking him back isn't something we are prepared to do as I don't want to do that.
 

It seems to be that he is far from a bad cat - in some ways quite good. It seems that his claws come out less than the RSPCA said and when they do, they come out for a reason. Plus when he bites, he does it only enough to make a point, not in order to draw blood. From the point of view of your daughter learning to respect animals, he may be something of a star, because he is teaching her where his boundaries are, without going completely over the top.

Don't grieve too much over your daughter crying, it is the sound of lessons being learned - as long as you don't undo the lesson by letting her think that the cat did anything wrong.