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- Jun 13, 2023
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I looked back on the trials and tribulations me and my puss went through. I had forgotten that I'd taken him to the last but one vet to remove his blocked with feces colon, as shown to me on an x-ray. I'd then remembered the vet saying 'they would keep him in overnight on IV'. The IV, unbeknownst to me, was the dreadful Aceta, otherwise known as battery fluid, which is why he'd growled (never growled) all the way home and refused to get out of his basket. I'd then called in my local clinician who felt his throat and said he had 'a sore throat' which is why he wasn't eating. This was so obviously the previous vet's administration of Aceta. I'd asked if there was something she could give him. She was very reluctant to give him pain medicine, but I was otherwise at a loss as to know what else to do with my lovely CKD cat whom I'd fought to feed for almost a year.
An appointment was made to bring him in to her clinic around the corner from me the next morning. She gave him a pill (don't know what it was) and told me to immediately take him home and administer Lactate. Straight away he jumped from the table with a loud yowl and convulsed at the doors. There was no life in his eyes, I called the vet and she told me to take him straight back. It was obvious when a friend and I lifted him into his basket he was already gone.
I'm writing this out of guilt that I hadn't ended his suffering earlier. It was obvious he was miserable. I also feel guilt for dragging him around so many vets but it's Buddhist here and friend insisted no euthanazia. On the other hand, I couldn't have borne the loss of trust he'd have felt if I had had him euthanized, sitting on the vet's table with his head pressing in my belly as the shot went in.
I fell asleep but came to to spot a black cat walking between me and my computer monitor. I've seen a cat (Binx?) do that one more time. I've also had the bed thing. But after three days that's stopped now.
I'm so sorry Binx. For all of it. They keep telling me I gave this stray cat a good eight years life. But suffer terribly with guilt and grief of not having him around any more. I live in a foreign country, and loathe to get another cat, no cat could replace him. I don't know from one year to the next whether I'd still be here anyway. I love you Binxie and I'll see you again, I know that.
An appointment was made to bring him in to her clinic around the corner from me the next morning. She gave him a pill (don't know what it was) and told me to immediately take him home and administer Lactate. Straight away he jumped from the table with a loud yowl and convulsed at the doors. There was no life in his eyes, I called the vet and she told me to take him straight back. It was obvious when a friend and I lifted him into his basket he was already gone.
I'm writing this out of guilt that I hadn't ended his suffering earlier. It was obvious he was miserable. I also feel guilt for dragging him around so many vets but it's Buddhist here and friend insisted no euthanazia. On the other hand, I couldn't have borne the loss of trust he'd have felt if I had had him euthanized, sitting on the vet's table with his head pressing in my belly as the shot went in.
I fell asleep but came to to spot a black cat walking between me and my computer monitor. I've seen a cat (Binx?) do that one more time. I've also had the bed thing. But after three days that's stopped now.
I'm so sorry Binx. For all of it. They keep telling me I gave this stray cat a good eight years life. But suffer terribly with guilt and grief of not having him around any more. I live in a foreign country, and loathe to get another cat, no cat could replace him. I don't know from one year to the next whether I'd still be here anyway. I love you Binxie and I'll see you again, I know that.
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