I adopted these two cats two years ago from SPCA, they were 7 months and 1 yr old, respectively. They were not related, but were in same colony. The boy cat kept growing and now he is twice her size (I think he may be part Bengal). He will sometimes attack her, he goes right for the neck, and when she has had enough, thtime cat fight, hissing and howling begins. Often at night when I’m asleep. I will have to rescue my female cat when this happens, and he knows he is in trouble, and I will squirt him with water. We have a catio, so sometimes he will run out the pet door, or go hide under the bed in guest room ( where he usually hides, he is afraid of everything). I live in Nevada so letting them outside is a risk as we hav coyotes. But he is getting on my last nerve with this aggression. I’m thinking he is trying to assert his dominance towards her or something. Otherwise, they get along, they sleep together sometimes and lick each other. With weather colder, they don’t go out to catio as often, so I’ve been trying to play with him daily so he can burn off some energy. But tonight, that didn’t help as before I was even asleep he attacked her again and I had to squirt him. And yes, when these attacks happen, fur is flying..her fur! I worry he is going to really hurt her. Any suggestions on how to stop this? I’m about ready to throw him outside. I’m a lifelong cat Mom, but this is first time I’ve had cats that couldn’t go outside.
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Big Male Cat Attacking Smaller Female Cat
- Thread starter chewey
- Start Date
Going for the neck is a normal part of playing. She is much smaller, so she gets tired of playing sooner and it bugs her. I know you say fur is flying, and of course you are correct that isn't normally seen with play fighting, but since she is generally his friend and not displaying anxiety behaviors outside of the fights, I am not sure he is actually hurting her. Have you found scratches? Perhaps consider soft paws for the bigger kitten, which may be enough given that they are generally friends?
The nighttime fighting is a harder one, an incredible hassle for many owners of young cats. Water sometimes works for something specific, like don't go on the kitchen counter, but I don't think water is going to do anything here, since young cats are gonna be young cats. For nighttime fighting, the suggestions aren't great ones -- put the cats, or one of them, somewhere (finished basement); tire them out with a play session right before bed (probably won't work); set one of those food-timer-thingies to provide food at the time the fights usually start...I don't know any of that will work for you, you might need to wait it out.
And yeah, your observation is 100% right...indoor/outdoor makes a big difference in these situations since it is a huge outlet for the energy of the instigator. I see 10X more play fighting if I keep mine in at night because of a storm or excessive cold.
The nighttime fighting is a harder one, an incredible hassle for many owners of young cats. Water sometimes works for something specific, like don't go on the kitchen counter, but I don't think water is going to do anything here, since young cats are gonna be young cats. For nighttime fighting, the suggestions aren't great ones -- put the cats, or one of them, somewhere (finished basement); tire them out with a play session right before bed (probably won't work); set one of those food-timer-thingies to provide food at the time the fights usually start...I don't know any of that will work for you, you might need to wait it out.
And yeah, your observation is 100% right...indoor/outdoor makes a big difference in these situations since it is a huge outlet for the energy of the instigator. I see 10X more play fighting if I keep mine in at night because of a storm or excessive cold.
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- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #3
When you say wait it out... what do you mean...will it stop as they get older? Although it does happen mostly at night, it has happened during daytime and early evening as well. And yes, they sleep most of th day and are up at night. When I go to bed, they get a treat, then, I close my door, as they kept waking me up getting into my window blinds, so I at least get some sleep. And the cat fight screaming I hear, is her telling him she has had enough and to back off, she sometimes has to go shelter under something to protect herself, then she growls at him to stay away.
Play fighting gets less as they get older. However, real fighting will not usually fix itself. I'm just a little confused by your situation. Fur being ripped off is normally a sign that fights are real. But if that was the case, I wouldn't expect them to be buddies, and would expect the smaller cat to growl, hiss and run away at the bigger ones approach even before the fighting starts. It is kind of an important difference in terms of what you do, so maybe someone else will chime in with thoughts. Also, ever feel any scratches on the smaller cat? I'm guessing no? Is the smaller cat a long hair cat? I don't have a lot of experience with long hair cats, maybe patches of fur come off during play fights for long haired cats??
More experienced folks: what do you think of this one?
More experienced folks: what do you think of this one?
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #5
No, I haven’t noticed any scratches or wounds on her, just fur clumps around the spot they were fighting and it’s her fur. He is definitely a different cat, his fur is different, his play is different, the things she likes to play, he doesn’t. It’s hard to keep him entertained. He is a high anxiety cat, he’s afraid of a lot of things, if someone comes to the door, he immediately hides. My house cleaners say they have never seen him. He hides under the guest bed, and actually has pulled down the lining and hides up inside the mattress frame. He has also brought in live mice from the catio and let them loose in the house!! Thanks so much for all your feedback.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #6
I used to have an older and bigger high anxiety cat that would growl at the smaller young cat trying to play with him. At that point, a switch flipped in the playful young cat and he was like "oh you want to fight with me" and the fighting got very real all of a sudden -- including bite wounds and vet bills. It could be that -- like he wants to play with her, but then it is too much for her, so she growls and it triggers his anxiety and the fighting becomes real. I think you have to try and treat his anxiety. However, its a little hard because it sounds general, like it doesn't have one specific cause. At least one of the mods recommends some calming products, and if it gets real bad there is always cat prozac. Sorry, I think that is as helpful as I can be given that its general anxiety without a specific cause.
