Best gender?

[tabbysia]

I have two cats that get along well--a five year old female and a 1 1/2 year old male. They seem to be well bonded and constantly groom each other. I am considering getting a third cat, but I am afraid of upsetting the balance and possibly having behavioral issues with the cats that I have not had before. The female kitty is sweet (to me) but can be a little feisty at times and the male cat is very sweet but super hyper and very vocal. The female cat HATED the male when he was a kitten and seemed to want to kill him, but she loves him now. She does not seem to be phased at all by him frequently pouncing on her and just runs and jumps up on a high place if he bothers her. She only swats at him if he is very persistent. He usually takes the hint.

If I do get another cat, it will be a kitten.
My question is if I do decide to go through with it, would it be better to get another male cat or another female cat, or does it not matter?

I am afraid that I just got lucky with the female cat warming up to the male kitty. Her forever hating a new cat is my worst fear. A neighborhood cat passed by the window one day and she threw herself against the window hissing and was VERY angry that it was there. My other cat just sat there and looked puzzled.

I used the Jackson Galaxy technique for introducing my two current cats, so I am familiar with it.

 

[p3 and the king]

It is normal for cats to "hate" each other at first.  So expect hissing, growling, swatting, etc.  Cats do not like change.  And if you follow the proper introduction technique, it should go a lot smoother.  Jackson Galaxy "My Cat From Hell" has many great videos and instructions on this. 

It is thought that kittens are more easily accepted because they are viewed as less of a threat.  However, it doesn't mean the kitten will be instantly accepted, so proper intros must still be fulfilled.  On the flip side, the opposite is also true.  A kitten can  be viewed as a nuisance by older cats because of their energy and playfulness.  So you need to worry more about the personality of your current cats more than gender.  Is one more playful and outgoing?  If so, a kitten is a good match.  If they are laid back and kind of lazy, a kitten I would NOT recommend.  It will be a lot of work. 

As far as gender goes, it really doesn't make a difference as long as you spay or neuter at the appropriate time.  Many will say that females are more domineering and need to be alpha (top cat).  So if you already have a female it could be possible that she will see another female as competition for her top spot.  But, not all females need to be alpha.  It depends on personality, again. 

As a rule of thumb, it is said to give cats at least a month to fully accept each other.  Some times it's less time, other times it's more.  Each situation is different.  It is important to remember that it's THEIR timeline and not ours.  They did not asks for another cat and for things to change.  So you need to be patient and understanding during this time. 

 

[samandersen]

It does not matter if you get a female or a male cat, the important thing is how you'll get your other two cats to like the newcomer kitty. It is really normal for cats to hate each other at first, you know, trust issues. But I know that in the long run, they'll get along well.  

 

[helsic]

With kittens you never know which personality they'll develop when they mature, usually kittens are very active and playful all the time and this can upset older cats. But maybe the kitten will bond with your male cat because they're close in age and can play together.

I also agree it depends in how you introduce them, it's very important to be patient and go step by step very slow so they can tolerate each others and get along.

 

[silmarien]

sidenote: i'm not an expert, i just read exhaustively about cat behavior

Try covering the window so they cannot see out. that way they will not be terrotorially insecure. then, i'd recommend installing auto sprinklers and auto noise alarms all over the backyard.  this will increase your cats' confidence in their territory so they won;t lash out at you guys. 

then, institute play time individually with each cat.  do it until they're exhausted.  again this redirects aggressive energy into hunting behavior instead of them scratching/hissing/biting you.

as for a new cat, you'd want to find one with a laid back personality.  one willing to accept they won't be the alpha.  kittens are easier in this regard, but if you want an older gamma personslity cat, that should be okay.  Good luck!!!