attached to the wrong person

[cheylink]

Originally Posted by bean

Two border collies, a sheltie and two cats; the kitten will make three cats.

I hate to be so blunt......but you already know this isn't a good idea, you already feel responsible and guilt for other pets brought into the home understanding they would be cared for and except the situation...... you need to reevaluate the situation...... whats best for you, the kitten and other cats and dogs, and your children. You have a teen daughter who already has excepted responsibility for a Sheltie, then wants a kitten who for whatever reason clings to you more and your daughter is upset by this, or was........ Then you are encouraged to adopt another kitten who will be yours......last I recall a certain kitty has already adopted you that your daughter adopted.
Here's my point, you definitely know that when you bring a kitten or puppy into your home, you are excepting the responsibility of raising them and providing a safe, healthy environment for the next 10-20 years. Please don't create a situation that you regret. It only takes one more kitten, one more puppy, to create an irreversible situation. Just because you can't insure a happy home for them, doesn't mean someone else won't. Think of all involved, pets, you, children......

 

[bean]

Originally Posted by cheylink

I hate to be so blunt......but you already know this isn't a good idea, you already feel responsible and guilt for other pets brought into the home understanding they would be cared for and except the situation...... you need to reevaluate the situation...... whats best for you, the kitten and other cats and dogs, and your children. You have a teen daughter who already has excepted responsibility for a Sheltie, then wants a kitten who for whatever reason clings to you more and your daughter is upset by this, or was........ Then you are encouraged to adopt another kitten who will be yours......last I recall a certain kitty has already adopted you that your daughter adopted.
Here's my point, you definitely know that when you bring a kitten or puppy into your home, you are excepting the responsibility of raising them and providing a safe, healthy environment for the next 10-20 years. Please don't create a situation that you regret. It only takes one more kitten, one more puppy, to create an irreversible situation. Just because you can't insure a happy home for them, doesn't mean someone else won't. Think of all involved, pets, you, children......

Thank you, for your thoughts, there are times when it's better to be blunt so you don't have to apologize.

To alleviate fears: My kids have both worked to make sure they have money to care for their own pets and have been very faithful to do so. They pay for their own school and piano lessons and have also been very generous with other bills that have come in that they were never asked to help pay for but have taken responsibility for what they use by themselves. I'm very proud of them.

We have also been a "houseful of animals" family since the kids were small so having a crowd isn't something new to me, just cats are new to me.

The dogs aren't young either and I had planned on getting a cat when they got a little older, I just imagined a Siamese or a Bengal, not a yellow barn cat.

I'm not just taking Eyvan out of a sense of guilt although I do feel horrible - my daughters luck with animals hasn't been that good - no fault of hers. I like the cat and I'd hate to see him distressed in a few years when my daughter moves out and would want to take him. I've seen what it did to the cat who loved my brother when he and his girlfriend broke up and she took the cat.

The reason I said I'll probably wake up screaming in the night is because this is a small place and I know what certain members of my family will say - I hate enduring criticism from family members, warranted or not.

When my daughter got the cat we were living in my parents home - a mutually beneficial arrangement for the time we were there. I sold our home and my parents wanted to travel so invited us to live with them so they could go and have someone to take care of all their animals etc. Eyvan paid as much attention to my daughter there as he did to everybody. Because I slept in a room where the cats couldn't go, I never paid much attention to who liked who but after we were talking about when he was a kitten and how every time I got the camera out he was jumping in front of it and sitting down with a huge grin on and how every time I sat down he was the cat in my lap we suddenly came to the startling conclusion that he was actually my cat long before we ever moved. That's what actually prompted this last decision. I've seen dogs torn away from their owners and that's awful enough, I've heard it's much worse for cats. I really can't do that to him.

 

[foofy cat lady]

Something to consider - Some cats have the 'love the one you're with' mentality. George was always my parents' cat. He'd hang out with mom and dad all day long and wouldn't give half a damn about me. After my parents both passed away within a year of each other, George firmly planted himself on my ankles. He was 100% my best pal, following me around everywhere, etc etc. Then my roommate moved in, and ever since, George only cares about me when my roomie's sleeping with the door closed. Other than that, I'm dead to him.

So.. While some cats may wig out over losing their bestpal, some make new ones.

 

[otto]

Originally Posted by Foofy Cat Lady

Something to consider - Some cats have the 'love the one you're with' mentality. George was always my parents' cat. He'd hang out with mom and dad all day long and wouldn't give half a damn about me. After my parents both passed away within a year of each other, George firmly planted himself on my ankles. He was 100% my best pal, following me around everywhere, etc etc. Then my roommate moved in, and ever since, George only cares about me when my roomie's sleeping with the door closed. Other than that, I'm dead to him.

So.. While some cats may wig out over losing their bestpal, some make new ones.

However, judging by what the OP has said, Eyvan is not the 'love the one your with' type of cat.

Bean: I think your plan to allow yourself to be adopted by Eyvan, and let your daughter be chosen by another cat, is a terrific solution.

 

[bean]

Thanks Otto

The baby was to come home on Tuesday but she has arrived today. My daughter is like a new mother.

The kitten was sleeping and we were watching a show and she had to jump up every 5-10 minutes to check on the baby!

But so far the wee kitty seems to think she's a wonderful person and snuggles in her arms which is something she always wished Eyvan would have done. This is a good match I think and I'm going to be staying FAR away from the kitten!

Both of the other cats know she's in the bedroom but Jasmine is showing no interest; Eyvan on the other hand has set up camp outside the door and was trying to figure out how to open it earlier. We're all thankful for secure latches! Because of how he reacted to the smell of the new kitten on us, I don't think Eyvan would hurt her, but I would hate to find out I was wrong.

Poor Pipsy (the sheltie), she very gently approached the kitten to say hello and was met with a furiously hissing ball of fluff; she couldn't retreat fast enough!

The kitten is living in my daughter's bedroom and I've read an article by the SPCA about introducing new cats into an existing cat household so we're going to be doing this very slowly and trading towels they've slept on and stuff so I hope all goes very smoothly. We're guessing the baby is about eight weeks old so she's so very small yet, how long should we wait after everyone is totally comfortable with each others smells before we let them really meet?

 

[cheylink]

Originally Posted by bean

Thanks Otto

The baby was to come home on Tuesday but she has arrived today. My daughter is like a new mother.

The kitten was sleeping and we were watching a show and she had to jump up every 5-10 minutes to check on the baby!

But so far the wee kitty seems to think she's a wonderful person and snuggles in her arms which is something she always wished Eyvan would have done. This is a good match I think and I'm going to be staying FAR away from the kitten!

Both of the other cats know she's in the bedroom but Jasmine is showing no interest; Eyvan on the other hand has set up camp outside the door and was trying to figure out how to open it earlier. We're all thankful for secure latches! Because of how he reacted to the smell of the new kitten on us, I don't think Eyvan would hurt her, but I would hate to find out I was wrong.

Poor Pipsy (the sheltie), she very gently approached the kitten to say hello and was met with a furiously hissing ball of fluff; she couldn't retreat fast enough!

The kitten is living in my daughter's bedroom and I've read an article by the SPCA about introducing new cats into an existing cat household so we're going to be doing this very slowly and trading towels they've slept on and stuff so I hope all goes very smoothly. We're guessing the baby is about eight weeks old so she's so very small yet, how long should we wait after everyone is totally comfortable with each others smells before we let them really meet?

How precious she sounds! I think this kitten couldn't find more love, and you are so dedicated to providing the best for all, I applaud you

.
I would allow time for a secure relationship to develop between her and your daughter, also the kitten needs to feel completely safe and secure in her room. It is actually the best reaction on both sides you could ask for, Pipsy very cautious and respectful while approaching, and the kitten defending her space, Pipsy respecting it. This is a very young kitten, she needs extra attention and guidance. Eyvan's curiosity is expected, and I think it is best to make him wait till he is not so interested. He could be simply interested, he could be slightly jealous, he could care less, but you never know

. I would wait till he stops showing so much interest, let your daughter and her kitten bond, make sure Pipsy doesn't feel indifferent, and go from there

!