At wit's end - stuck in this phase of introduction

[twentyfour]

I brought Grover (neutered now 7 month kitten) home in October. I have a resident cat Boomer, fixed 5yo female. I have followed all of the rules for introductions and am now stuck.

As long as I am supervising, they do fine, but any time I try to let go a little bit, the two end up fighting with pilo erection and some hissing from my 5yo. Take this morning, we're all doing fine - I did a long playing session with Grover to tire him out a bit, and then I did some chores while they were both in the same area of the apartment. At some point, Grover ran by Boomer and Boomer chased. Once they get into it, they won't stop - I don't think it's playing because there's pilo erection and hissing. Both seem freaked out but keep at it. Thankfully, so far, there hasn't been any injuries or fur flying. Once they get freaked, I separate them again. 

I don't know what to do. I've been stuck at this point for about a month and I don't know what to do differently. I believe Boomer is the one who instigates the "this is not playing" attitude, and Grover basically defends himself. 

Help! How can I get over this hurdle? I don't want it to escalate into blood drawing fighting but I need something concrete to try because I am really at my wit's end. I live by myself, so keep that in mind - I don't have a second person to distract other cat, etc. 

Thank you!

 

[dianemaria]

Hi,

That's kinda where I'm at with my two (resident cat 2-1/2 yrs, kitten 5 months), but we started introductions in November. Fairly good when they're supervised. They don't mind each other's scents, eating next to each other, even sharing litter boxes, etc, but seems like when somebody walks by somebody else there might be trouble. I noticed that it seems to be in the morning more so with my two. Actually the resident cat is the one who gets bent out of shape. So, maybe the time of day has something to do with it.

I have a Feliway plug in and just added another one yesterday and just started Zylkene calming aid as prescribed by the vet. You didn't mention any calming aids, so maybe you can try that. Also, trying to keep my attitude toward them more "upbeat." Talking to them more lighthearted, not yelling, etc. That seems to be doing good too, just started that a little more so since yesterday morning.

I feel sometimes like my life is consumed with these two! What we do for our fur friends!

 

[twentyfour]

Wow! It really sounds like we're in the same boat. I have a Feliway plug in, as well and have experimented with some calming essential oils, but I couldn't be consistent on those, so I kind of gave up. I will look into the Zylkene - thanks for that. I also recently read an article about staying up-beat which really helped me out - at this point, part of the issue is me managing my anxiety around it! 

I did take Grover to the vet the other day and she counseled me a bit. Basically, she said she's not surprised it's taking so long - that is pretty common with cats, even if it seems like it's taking forever. She did nudge me to challenge them a bit more and try to let them set some of their own boundaries (but not to let it escalate to violence or injury, of course). Best of luck - I'd love to know how your situation progresses! Keep me updated.

Thanks for your response! 

 

[dianemaria]

Yep, sounds like we are at the same stage!

Will definitely keep in touch!