(Apologies in advance for this being pretty long).
Back in December, I found what I thought was the perfect cat from a local rescue: He was cute and had a great bio - he was described as smart, not particularly needy, and incredibly friendly. This all seemed confirmed when I met with him and his foster. He was sweet, not at all shy, and definitely curious. As a cat listed as 1-2 years old (his neuter paperwork had him listed as 13 months old in early December, so he'd be around 20-21 months old now), he had some zip. I'd had a cat before, so I knew to ask some questions - I wanted to make sure this would work. His foster truly seemed to enjoy her time with him and was sad to give him up for adoption.
And then...
This cute cat came home with me in late January, and it's been, quite frankly, six stressful months in the apartment. The problems started pretty much right away - he got aggressive with a friend who had come to visit. I wrote it off as stress. After all, this was a new environment. He enjoyed laying on me and purring. He enjoyed playing and exploring the new apartment.
But then the problems emerged. He howled at night outside my door (my bedroom is and has always been a pet-free zone) and cried for food early in the morning. He started to suddenly bite me when sitting on my lap. Feet were a target for attacks to the point that I, regardless of season, now where slippers pretty much always around the house.
He has a constant need to play - and by this, I mean aggressive, interactive play. I literally am sometimes out of breath, because I need to run around the apartment, shaking feather wands at ridiculous speeds and he chases, hisses, and jumps. We play 2-3 times a day, sometimes for as much as 2 hours total, and he never tires. If I miss any play time, he screams and sprints across the apartment, knocking over items wherever he goes.
He chews on everything he can find. I had to move a bunch of leather and softer material chairs into my bedroom because he started tearing them apart. He one by one killed half my plants (all non-toxic to cats) either by biting or knocking them to the floor, and even ate one, thick stem and all. The others only survived because they, like the chairs, were moved to my bedroom. He destroys all of his toys - eating the fake feathers, chewing on the rubber grip of the feather wand, ripping apart fleece balls.
We've solved nighttime wake-up cries and early morning food calls with some training (and an auto feeder for morning meals - a lifesaver!). But any time he isn't getting direct attention from me, he paces around crying, grunting, or shrieking (as he's doing right now and has been doing for much of today). Usually if he's ignored for long enough, he'll grunt-scream (a separate sound from a cry, grunt, or shriek - he's a cat of many sounds) and go into chaos mode. Or, if he's nearby and you're not looking, you might find he'll sink his claws and teeth into your arm or leg. The one spot that's mine is the bedroom, but going in there during the day usually results in him sticking his face under the door (there's a 1-inch crack) and screaming, clawing at the door, throwing his body at it, etc. That's eliminated pretty much any chance of a nap or just some quiet time (I can't relax on the couch lest my limbs become prey). And if my partner ever spends the night, all bets are off, as two people in a room he isn't also in is grounds for even more cat cries.
I feel like this isn't my home anymore - it feels more like my cat owns the place and I'm there to serve at any and all hours—and that there is punishment if I do not. It's like having the upkeep requirements of a dog with the you-must-earn-my-love/tolerance of a cat (and the atomic bomb poops he leaves unburied!).
Needless to say, it hasn't made this apartment an enjoyable place to be. It certainly leaves me less enthused to arrive home after work every day.
I've had several cats before, and I've interacted with many of my friends. Nobody has had this combination of behavioral factors. In fact, most of my friends find it really amusing to come over because he's so social. Their cats snooze and sometimes cuddle with them. My cat puts on a circus.
Now, I know that he's a young cat and that some of this behavior might fade. But I'm wondering if anyone has a similar experience? What can I expect to see naturally go away with age? What has helped people fix some of the other behaviors? I would love to keep this cat, because he can be very sweet and fun at times. But if this is what he's going to be like for the next 15-20 years, I don't think it will be a good fit and he won't be happy.
Help!
Back in December, I found what I thought was the perfect cat from a local rescue: He was cute and had a great bio - he was described as smart, not particularly needy, and incredibly friendly. This all seemed confirmed when I met with him and his foster. He was sweet, not at all shy, and definitely curious. As a cat listed as 1-2 years old (his neuter paperwork had him listed as 13 months old in early December, so he'd be around 20-21 months old now), he had some zip. I'd had a cat before, so I knew to ask some questions - I wanted to make sure this would work. His foster truly seemed to enjoy her time with him and was sad to give him up for adoption.
And then...
This cute cat came home with me in late January, and it's been, quite frankly, six stressful months in the apartment. The problems started pretty much right away - he got aggressive with a friend who had come to visit. I wrote it off as stress. After all, this was a new environment. He enjoyed laying on me and purring. He enjoyed playing and exploring the new apartment.
But then the problems emerged. He howled at night outside my door (my bedroom is and has always been a pet-free zone) and cried for food early in the morning. He started to suddenly bite me when sitting on my lap. Feet were a target for attacks to the point that I, regardless of season, now where slippers pretty much always around the house.
He has a constant need to play - and by this, I mean aggressive, interactive play. I literally am sometimes out of breath, because I need to run around the apartment, shaking feather wands at ridiculous speeds and he chases, hisses, and jumps. We play 2-3 times a day, sometimes for as much as 2 hours total, and he never tires. If I miss any play time, he screams and sprints across the apartment, knocking over items wherever he goes.
He chews on everything he can find. I had to move a bunch of leather and softer material chairs into my bedroom because he started tearing them apart. He one by one killed half my plants (all non-toxic to cats) either by biting or knocking them to the floor, and even ate one, thick stem and all. The others only survived because they, like the chairs, were moved to my bedroom. He destroys all of his toys - eating the fake feathers, chewing on the rubber grip of the feather wand, ripping apart fleece balls.
We've solved nighttime wake-up cries and early morning food calls with some training (and an auto feeder for morning meals - a lifesaver!). But any time he isn't getting direct attention from me, he paces around crying, grunting, or shrieking (as he's doing right now and has been doing for much of today). Usually if he's ignored for long enough, he'll grunt-scream (a separate sound from a cry, grunt, or shriek - he's a cat of many sounds) and go into chaos mode. Or, if he's nearby and you're not looking, you might find he'll sink his claws and teeth into your arm or leg. The one spot that's mine is the bedroom, but going in there during the day usually results in him sticking his face under the door (there's a 1-inch crack) and screaming, clawing at the door, throwing his body at it, etc. That's eliminated pretty much any chance of a nap or just some quiet time (I can't relax on the couch lest my limbs become prey). And if my partner ever spends the night, all bets are off, as two people in a room he isn't also in is grounds for even more cat cries.
I feel like this isn't my home anymore - it feels more like my cat owns the place and I'm there to serve at any and all hours—and that there is punishment if I do not. It's like having the upkeep requirements of a dog with the you-must-earn-my-love/tolerance of a cat (and the atomic bomb poops he leaves unburied!).
Needless to say, it hasn't made this apartment an enjoyable place to be. It certainly leaves me less enthused to arrive home after work every day.
I've had several cats before, and I've interacted with many of my friends. Nobody has had this combination of behavioral factors. In fact, most of my friends find it really amusing to come over because he's so social. Their cats snooze and sometimes cuddle with them. My cat puts on a circus.
Now, I know that he's a young cat and that some of this behavior might fade. But I'm wondering if anyone has a similar experience? What can I expect to see naturally go away with age? What has helped people fix some of the other behaviors? I would love to keep this cat, because he can be very sweet and fun at times. But if this is what he's going to be like for the next 15-20 years, I don't think it will be a good fit and he won't be happy.
Help!
)
