At home euthanasia vs. vet's office

[betsygee]

I'm out of town and just now catching up on this thread. I'm so sorry Roni seems to be fading. You know her best, you'll know if tomorrow is the day. I'm so sorry and my thoughts are with you both.

 

[ld0203]

I just lost my sweet 9 year old Petey today. It's a long story, but he declined suddenly while at the vet's office, so the euthanasia was done there. I had always thought that whenever the time came for either of my babies, I would have it done at home, but I really didn't have that option today. My experience, as painful as it was, went as well as could be expected. My vet explained everything to me, took me and Petey to a private room, and spread a pile of soft blankets on the floor. Petey already had an IV port in, so they were able to use that and avoid having to do the two injections in a new place. I was able to lie down with Petey and cuddle him up, and he went peacefully. My vet sat with me and gave me time, then wrapped him up gently in the blanket and took him away. (I'm having him cremated.)  When I was leaving, my wonderful vet - who by the way I only met a week ago, but has spent so much time with me over those several days - gave me a hug and consoled me in my loss, and let me know I had done the right thing. I think a lot of this depends on the true character of your vet and their staff.

I'm going to look at White Shadow's links to help Petey's brother through the grieving process. Thank you for that!

 

[wasabipea]

I just lost my sweet 9 year old Petey today. It's a long story, but he declined suddenly while at the vet's office, so the euthanasia was done there. I had always thought that whenever the time came for either of my babies, I would have it done at home, but I really didn't have that option today. My experience, as painful as it was, went as well as could be expected. My vet explained everything to me, took me and Petey to a private room, and spread a pile of soft blankets on the floor. Petey already had an IV port in, so they were able to use that and avoid having to do the two injections in a new place. I was able to lie down with Petey and cuddle him up, and he went peacefully. My vet sat with me and gave me time, then wrapped him up gently in the blanket and took him away. (I'm having him cremated.)  When I was leaving, my wonderful vet - who by the way I only met a week ago, but has spent so much time with
me over those several days - gave me a hug and consoled me in my loss, and let me know I had done the right thing. I think a lot of this depends on the true character of your vet and their staff.

I'm going to look at White Shadow's links to help Petey's brother through the grieving process. Thank you for that!

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sometimes despite our best intentions, things don't always happen the way we want to. And to have him decline so suddenly like that, likely not what you were expecting - I wish you strength and peace nd LOTS of love for his brother. Love him like mad, he'll probably be confused. I made the mistake of taking Len's blankets, etc up too early to wash them ( that was a selfish move intended for me) and I should have left them down longer to keep his scent around.

I'm still in a kerfluffle since I have an opening today to have Roni PTS at home... I told them I would call in the AM. But of course its Friday and while she was just on my lap purring and happy and the diahrreah medcince seems to be working (that symptom caused her the most angst) but I,m stuck because if there is a bad decline over the weekend, I my have to take her to the vets. I had Len done at the vets, and it was very comfortable and peaceful, but I'm very angry at my vet at the moment. She ducked and didn't return a call last night, I'm very emotional now - besides just unexpectedly losing the other cat, my mom is dying as well, as is my fish (trivial, but still a life) - and I think she thinks I'm being irrational and selfish. So I don't want her doing the euthanasia, but I don't think today is Roni's day. I hope I can book some time with the at home guy for next week sometime.I think my current vet thinks I'm irrational and can't deal with me. I'm just surrounded by death and I'm helpless to cure anyone - maybe I'm not making the "best" choices, but I'm not thinking too clearly now.

LD, again I'm so sorry for your sudden loss, and I hope Petey's brother adapts well.

And Betsygee, thank you as always - you've been so sopportive of me during this rough time.

 

[peaches08]

If today doesn't feel like the day, then don't do it today.  I'm not so sure about the saying "better a week early than a day too late" but to each his own.  I'd rather know that I gave every chance possible.  Some people don't feel that way and that's OK too.  There are worse things than death, harsh as that sounds.  Whether it be today or tomorrow, your cat knew love and that's what matters.

Geez, you do have a lot of death surrounding you.  I'm so sorry.  And no, the fish isn't trivial.  It's still a life and a friend and that affects you.

 

[red top rescue]

We would never judge you on this!  I judge myself on the one "bad" one because I left him to go on a 3-day weekend which had been planned and had a reservation etc. and told him I would take him to the vet when I got back.  But he crashed, and my friend who was cat sitting took him to the vet and it was in the days before cell phones and she could not reach me to get permission to put him to sleep and he died alone, in a cage, at the vet's office.  I have never forgiven myself for that, and have made it up to him many times by being sure everyone after him did not suffer the same fate.  So sorry, little Schmoo, I failed you at the end.  Still makes me cry to think about it, and it was at least 30 years ago!

"When we know better, we do better."  ~ Oprah Winfrey ~

 

[wasabipea]

 
We would never judge you on this!  I judge myself on the one "bad" one because I left him to go on a 3-day weekend which had been planned and had a reservation etc. and told him I would take him to the vet when I got back.  But he crashed, and my friend who was cat sitting took him to the vet and it was in the days before cell phones and she could not reach me to get permission to put him to sleep and he died alone, in a cage, at the vet's office.  I have never forgiven myself for that, and have made it up to him many times by being sure everyone after him did not suffer the same fate.  So sorry, little Schmoo, I failed you at the end.  Still makes me cry to think about it, and it was at least 30 years ago!

"When we know better, we do better."  ~ Oprah Winfrey ~

OMG, practically the same thing happened to me like 25 years ago. I had a girlkitty, she was 11, and she was getting sicker and sicker and I was taking her to this one vet and he was treating the symptoms, not the condition, so I took her to another vet.

She went from 19 lbs down to 11 in a month, and since the new vet didn't know her before - I'm not sure that he realized what bad shape she was in and wanted to run a bunch of tests and wanted her to stay overnight. I told him I wanted to do what was best for the kitty, but didn't want to leave her overninght if I was never going to see her again (because I knew how much she had deteriorated). He said "the only way you aren't going to see her again is of you get in a car accident on the way home, don't worry" and they went to whisk her off. I wanted to say goodbye and he said "trust me, it's easier this way if you don't say goodbye"... well, same thing. She died, curled up in her litter box, all alone at the vets office in a cage, scared, probably thinking that I abandoned her at the end. And 25 years later I still cry about it, thinking of how she must have felt in her last moments.

It's the worst thing to happen to a pet and their owner. The vet felt horrible and did a no-charge autopsy... turns out she was riddled with stomach/intestinal cancer and would have died anyway. But had I known, I would have put her down, and NEVER have let her die that way. I still feel terrible, so I have an understanding of how you are feeling - and I suppose that's why I want to do right by all my animals now on.

I hope I didn't make the wrong choice for wanting another weekend with Roni, I'm planning for early next week I guess for having her PTS.

I want to ask the vet if the numbers of her white cell count are indicative of how bad/advanced the cancer could be. She stil eats baby food, and some junky cat food, and cold cuts and treats. I'm hoping that will keep her going for the next few days. She'll get spoiled and hopefully accept love from me, because I want to give it - if she wants it.

Edited to add: ...And Red Top: You didn't fail Schmoo, it's just the way things fell into place - sadly, yes - but we can't control everything. I know how heartbreaking it felt and still does(been there), but you have helped so many kitties in the days since... you should consider all your rescues as a tribute to little Schmoo. The karma scale is definitely tipped in your favor, forgive yourself.

 

[datagrrl]

I guess for me I prefer the vets office, but I would have to be there for the whole thing.

Not that I do not trust my vet, but I saw that article about a dog kept alive by a vet for its blood.

I have only had dogs put to sleep. Both were so sick that the sedative probably took them. In both cases she still administered the second injection, because she said the sedative can slow their heart to almost nothing.

It is such a personal decision. I know this will sound horrible, but I have a small house and yard. Keeping ashes or burying isn't an option. My vet does a free paw-print if you want. So we have those.i have tons of pictures, and we did stepping stones with their paws and some stuff when they were younger. We will probably do one for the cat this year.

 

[wasabipea]

I have a small yard, so burying isn't an option - I have to trust that the ashes that get returned are indeed those of my beloved pet. My vet did a paw print in clay for the cat that I recently lost... I was so scared it was going to break, I put it in a "safe" place that now I can't find it. I'm not freaking yet... I couldn't have thrown it out. I have to really search someday soon, I'd be heartbroken to lose it.

It's a long story why I'm so insistent on Roni being done at home, but I'm relieved that I found a somewhat flexible vet who will do this, and he's in the next town over - so Scheduling something quick will be easier. It does help to put my mind at ease. Plus I'm annoyed at my vet right now, I don't want her doing it anyway. Its complicated

PS - I like the idea of stepping stones with paw prints, I may have to go that route with the next fur babies.

 

[goholistic]

Hearing what all of you have and are going through puts tears in my eyes. Thinking of you lots, @Wasabipea. The fish is not trivial. It's a living thing that you love. 

  I was a wreck over my hamster who died (Hambone was his name). I'm also sorry about your mom. This is a trying time for you and will test every bit of your being. You're stronger than you think. 

 

 

[wasabipea]

Hearing what all of you have and are going through puts tears in my eyes. Thinking of you lots, @Wasabipea
. The fish is not trivial. It's a living thing that you love. :heart3:   I was a wreck over my hamster who died (Hambone was his name). I'm also sorry about your mom. This is a trying time for you and will test every bit of your being. You're stronger than you think.   

RIP Hambone, you were loved... and you had the cutest name too. I love hamsters, I can understand your heartbreak. Their little pink paws, so cute.
Thanks for your thoughts on my mom too... she is in end stage renal failure - so I have a kidney mommy and a kidney kitty.
On an up note, Roni ate tonight - cat food as well as baby food, and groomed herself, which I haven't seen in a while. The betta was a little swimmy too, we'll see.
I question my decision making rationality at the moment, hence the "what to do?" post... trying to keep the loved ones, but still keep their comfort first.

Moral of the story: Love your loved ones every day whether they have skin, fur, scales or little pink paws :heart3:

 

[bonepicker]

I could not agree more. My Yorkie mix had a stroke, he is 131/2 years old. I thought that was the end he was stiff in the morning when I got up. I took him to the vet sobbing all the way. They gave him fluids and clot buster shot. 4 days later he is back home. I will cherish everyday we are together.

image.jpg

• bonepicker
• Jun 29, 2014

 

[wasabipea]

So glad your little yorkie is still with us. He does look like a happy little cutie, cherished and loved.
I love pics of animals at our feet, looking up at us - they always make me smile

 

[feralvr]

hence the "what to do?" post... trying to keep the loved ones, but still keep their comfort first.

Moral of the story: Love your loved ones every day whether they have skin, fur, scales or little pink paws :heart3:

I will second this too. :heart3: I am managing an elderly dog, whom we love dearly, right now, and am in your shoes with the ups/downs. It is inevitable for all of us who love these little creatures and care for them for their entire life that we will come to this very difficult and emotional stage of their life. Can't be avoided.....

You will know when it is that time, Roni will help you know too. My thoughts are with both of you during this difficult journey.

 

[wasabipea]

Oh Feralvir, I didn't know you were managing a similar situation - I'm so sorry and I can empathize. Roni is still among the living, she is doing fairly well considering. I'm trying to decide when is too much - as you said, I do hope she will let me know, as does your doggy.

to you and yours too. Keep us posted on how things are holding up for you and the brood.

I have to say Roni is getting quite spoiled these days, but as pinkdagger once said in a thread regarding older pets that "every day should be cake" for them. I loved that line

Take good care of yourself too, thinking of you.

 

[betsygee]

Oh Feralvir, I didn't know you were managing a similar situation - I'm so sorry and I can empathize. Roni is still among the living, she is doing fairly well considering. I'm trying to decide when is too much - as you said, I do hope she will let me know, as does your doggy.

to you and yours too. Keep us posted on how things are holding up for you and the brood.

I have to say Roni is getting quite spoiled these days, but as pinkdagger once said in a thread regarding older pets that "every day should be cake" for them. I loved that line

Take good care of yourself too, thinking of you.

I just got back from my trip--Roni's still hanging in there?  How's she doing?  And how are you doing?

 

[wasabipea]

Welcome home, betsygee! Yea, she is still hanging tough - but I don't think it's going to be much longer.

I'm not sure if I mentioned in this post - but I bought this kitty condo (thinking it might be good for her to have a spot that she didn't associate with Len). She snubbed it for about a week until she discovered the sleeping hidey hole. She wont come out if it, if so - it's to eat a little or go to the box - so it's really hard for me to assess her condition and keep an eye on any changes. I think the novelty might be wearing off a bit, since she was out and about visiting me in bed during the night and this AM she was on her window perch and upstairs following me around.

But her interest in food is waning, as is her personality - but I really don't think she is in pain at this time. Not sure if you were around, but I did find a very local vet (next town) who will come to my house for the dreaded PTS, and their office is very understanding with my day-to-day assessing, so I feel better having that not to worry about any more. Now it's just deciding the "when" - and sticking to it. I just wish that cancer diagnosis was 100% accurate, and not just a guess. All the diagnostics are too invasive at this stage, so I'm going by my vets word and she claimed that she consulted with an "internal workings" vet specialist.

I'm okay, thanks for asking. Stress level is making me a bit irrational - but this soon shall pass, hopefully.

Hope you had a great trip!

 

[betsygee]

How are you two doing?

 

[wasabipea]

Hi betsygee - thanks for asking.

Day by day, really. Considering her condition, if it really is the cancer that they say it is (it's a guessing game with bloodwork numbers) - she really is doing pretty well. The big "game" in the house is "what will she eat today"? I'm not fond of the game, but I still play it.

She seems to be getting less fussy with food, which I'm taking as a good sign, and most days eats the majority of her food. A few days here and ther I have to warm up baby food and spoon feed her, but they aren't very often. She's been jumping on my lap, hanging out and purring and accepting affection more these days and actively seeking me out when I'm not around. She was pretty reclusive and didn't want to be touched not too long ago, so I'm taking that as a good sign. She still likes to go out and lay in the sun, so... it could be a lot worse.

I don't sense that she's in pain, and call me old school but I think a big barometer of determining how they are feeling is the "cold, wet nose" test, and more often than not - she passes the test.

So... here we are. I'm treasuring the time together that we have and just resigning myself to the fact that her litter box holds little interest for her, so I covered the sofa in thick plastic for now. That's the downside, but... no more scoldings.

In a nutshell, she's getting spolied rotten in her final charge!

How's your brood? Is Travis getting to find his new niche since Molly's passing?

 

[betsygee]

I'm so glad you're getting some relatively good time to spend with your baby.  Such good news that she's eating better and hanging out with you more.  I know you are enjoying every minute you can with her.  What happened with the subq fluids--did you start doing it at home or are you taking her in for it?  

Travis is calming down.  He still yowls during the night sometimes which he never did before.  I think he wakes up and wonders where Molly is.  Even though there are plenty of cat beds to use, those two always shared one.  But the other day I spied him and Hannah (Molly's sister) curled up sleeping next to each other.  Not snuggled up together like Travis and Molly used to do, but Hannah's always been very stand offish so to see her sleeping that close to him at all was a minor miracle and looked very sweet--maybe they're keeping each other company.  

 

[goholistic]

I, too, am glad to hear you are having some good days together.  

I can certainly relate to making adjustments for a sick cat as you have done with the sofa. There comes a point when the best thing we can do is let it go, continue to show our love, and tell them it'll be okay.