At A Loss

[ReggieKat]

I'm new to cat ownership. I couldn't have even told you what the word feral meant 7 months ago. However, I wanted a pet because I'm a single person who lives alone. Even though I've loved dogs my whole life, I know what kind of work they take and my job is so demanding it wouldn't be fair to have a dog.

So I'm convinced by a few friends and co-workers that cat ownership is for me. Cats are easy I'm told. I did my research as best I could, I bought everything I'd need and went to a local shelter. I asked to be put in a room with the two 14 week old kittens they had available and play with them. Originally I thought I wanted the other sister but Reggie just immediately warmed up to me and was so social and playful. I thought wow yeah I can do this despite never being around cats or kittens. The shelter let me take her home the same day.

I know very little about her background except that when she was brought in at around 12 weeks she was extremely feral. The vet tech told me she was very hissy and wouldn't let anyone touch her. I've read now that 12 weeks is sort of a turning point for feral kittens as to whether or not they'll be good pets.

Reggie although she started out very sweet and has been given all kinds of love, is fed the best food (been trying to get her off dry free feeding and once it's gone, I won't be getting anymore and she'll get only wet at mealtimes), is so spoiled with every toy, and has had visitors of every kind come through my apartment and socialize with her.

She's not anti social, per say. Yes she hides when someone's at the door but eventually comes out to greet people. She doesn't like anyone loud or really to be picked up by anyone except me. But she's certainly not a super social cat. Despite her being an OK companion by all accounts... I wouldn't call her particularly loving, I think she purposely ruins things like curtains and attempts to ruin dresses etc bc she thrives on negative attention which I can't help but sometimes give... I've worried about her mental and physical health as an indoor cat who hates the outdoors, really has packed on the pounds despite being fed the best diet and with what appears to be extreme food anxiety.

As far as the anxiety she exhibits and agreessiveness surrounding food, if dry food is not out all day she becomes particularly grouchy. She will beg for food all the time and if I go near the kitchen will run ahead and try to steer me to the shelves to get her food. She also chomps down as quickly as she can at whatever's placed in front of her.

And i had no idea what size kittens should be at what ages but it seems as though she was severely underweight and malnourished. Though she was allowed in the same pen with other cats at the shelter, she hissed at them and seemed touchy. Looking back, it all seems accurate she'd turn out the way she is but at the time I had no idea. I'm the only home she's ever had and her start to life was incredibly rough it appears.

Fast forward, and she's about 9 months old now, and seemed to be getting somewhat better with food issues but I could tell had just an enormous amount of pent up energy. I would play with her. Even if I were tired we had a nightly routine of laser tag to wear her out as much as I could. However I knew that wasn't enough. She's probably in the overweight category now and again, I've tried taking away the dry food it it only makes her more crazy.

I don't exactly know why but I thought it would be a good idea to adopt a kitten. Reggie is still a kitten herself and I understand now why people say to adopt in pairs. Of course Reggie wasn't exactly thrilled to begin with. However, New kitten has been slowly introduced after being in a separate room and Reggie stopped hissing at her and seemed to calm down. She does still chase the kitten, pin her down and bite her neck which scares me. I am worried that pattern of behavior will continue forever.

I know if you're reading this post you're going to think I've done all the wrong things but I tried at every point to do the right thing. Tonight, I realized she's just gotten more and more aggressive. I tried putting her in another room to eat and calm down. She yelled at first but then was quiet so I let her out. She returned to extremely aggressive behavior. I put her outside where she sometimes likes to go in the backyard and chase things. I tried playing with her. Nothing worked. so then I took her in my arms and forced her to be in my arms for a bit and she promptly FELL ASLEEP.

I couldn't believe it. She's never fallen asleep in my arms before. It dawned on me she's so stressed out since kitten arrived I bet she has not slept much at all. I placed her in my bedroom where she likes to sleep, let my dinner get cold and laid with her where I am now writing this post. She's curled up next to me now. I don't want to get rid of kitten I think in the end it will be better for Reggie to have a playmate, she's still young I think she will adapt to being her friend or so I hold out hope. Plus, I'm already in love with kitten who admittedly got a much better start to life (with the exception of being terrorized by her new adopted sister) and is a much more outgoing kitten with very little fears of anything.

I'm looking for solutions. I'm going to try feliway of course but I've read it's sort of a waste of money and doesn't work on everyone. I am also hoping I can get Reggie on Xanax. Does anyone have experience with a borderline feral cat who may have been out in the wild just a tad too long? If so, was anyone out there ridiculous enough to think she'd like a friend?

 

[Kieka]

Don't beat yourself up. It doesn't sounds like you did everything all wrong and you are doing better than many do.

Food agression and obsession is common in ferals because of the uncertainty of their next meal. It takes a while to overcome. But it sounds like your real worry is the new kitten.

Reggie hasn't been around other cats much so she might be a little out of sync with the kitten. How long have you had the kitten? Shes probably still adjust to having a fur sibling and just like in humans it can be a little rough sometimes. I have a little one got feral at 4 months. When she first joined us I had many times of thinking they were too aggressive with her. But they were establishing where everyone fit together.

Some agression is okay. As long as they aren't drawing blood you can let it go a little so Reggie can feel dominate to the kitten and less threatened. Give her some time and space. I am sure she will get there and end up loving her new sibling. With mine our oldest was not particularly happy with Rockets (my feral) addition. He was a bottle baby and very human centric. Rocket got hissed, growled at and bopped for weeks by him whenever she tried to approach. Then after about 3 months she slowly aporoached him and he let her. Over the next few months he let her get closer and closer. Now he is her cuddle buddy and preferred grooming buddy. He still hisses when she annoys him and pushes her away at times. But he also brings her lizards and grasshoppers. So he loves his fuzzy little sister. Hold onto hope and give them time.

One thought.... Can you put the kitten in a carrier or the bathroom or a kennel for a few nights (with a litter box of course) so Reggie can rest undisturbed while adjusting? If Reggie prefers your bedroom, maybe just shut your door at night so it is hers. Or if you don't have a tree or shelves get some; those would give her a way to get some distance on something that is hers (my boy has a dryer that only he can reach the top of that he retreats to for a break).

Here are Rocket and Fury now....

IMG_0264.JPG

• Kieka
• Nov 30, 2016

 

[orange&white]

The kitten I adopted in February was feral. She was 4 months old. She's still a little shy and skittish and probably always will be. She does like my senior cat (more than he likes her). He's laid back and sort of nonchalant no matter what happens.

A few weeks ago I trapped a 5.5 week old kitten and introduced him to my Farrell after a couple of weeks. She really did want to play with him (bap, bap, bap in the head with no claws out), but he just rolled over and played dead, hoping she would leave him alone. If you aren't used to cats, it looks like one of the cats is being too rough, but like Kieka said, they are just establishing territory and the play can look like fighting.

Give them some more time together, separate them if things get too rough, but otherwise let them work things out under your supervision. They'll either end up really liking each other, or worst case, they may end up just being merely content to live under the same roof in separate areas they claim as their territory.

 

[kittens mom]

Aside from not needing to be let out to go to the bathroom or walked cats require every bit as much care as dogs. You say you were/are a dog person. You really have to change how you approach cat behavior it's totally different than dogs.
Cats hate change and it is nearly obligatory for the resident cat to hate the new cat until they don't. Sounds like you're doing things right.

 

[ReggieKat]

Don't beat yourself up. It doesn't sounds like you did everything all wrong and you are doing better than many do.

Food agression and obsession is common in ferals because of the uncertainty of their next meal. It takes a while to overcome. But it sounds like your real worry is the new kitten.

Reggie hasn't been around other cats much so she might be a little out of sync with the kitten. How long have you had the kitten? Shes probably still adjust to having a fur sibling and just like in humans it can be a little rough sometimes. I have a little one got feral at 4 months. When she first joined us I had many times of thinking they were too aggressive with her. But they were establishing where everyone fit together.

Some agression is okay. As long as they aren't drawing blood you can let it go a little so Reggie can feel dominate to the kitten and less threatened. Give her some time and space. I am sure she will get there and end up loving her new sibling. With mine our oldest was not particularly happy with Rockets (my feral) addition. He was a bottle baby and very human centric. Rocket got hissed, growled at and bopped for weeks by him whenever she tried to approach. Then after about 3 months she slowly aporoached him and he let her. Over the next few months he let her get closer and closer. Now he is her cuddle buddy and preferred grooming buddy. He still hisses when she annoys him and pushes her away at times. But he also brings her lizards and grasshoppers. So he loves his fuzzy little sister. Hold onto hope and give them time.

One thought.... Can you put the kitten in a carrier or the bathroom or a kennel for a few nights (with a litter box of course) so Reggie can rest undisturbed while adjusting? If Reggie prefers your bedroom, maybe just shut your door at night so it is hers. Or if you don't have a tree or shelves get some; those would give her a way to get some distance on something that is hers (my boy has a dryer that only he can reach the top of that he retreats to for a break).

Here are Rocket and Fury now....

IMG_0264.JPG

• Kieka
• Nov 30, 2016

Thank you so much for your reply. I was sure I'd only get lots of hate how I was doing everything wrong. I think shelters should be more up front about the particular needs of Ferals or at least give more information. I'm glad to hear yours got better. No one has been drawing blood and kitten is pretty decent at standing up for herself--she'll likely be the dominant one once she's got the size. I've seen all 2 lbs of her chase Reggie away from her food bowl. That only happened once because I figured kitten wouldn't challenge Reggie for food but she did! I've been feeding kitten separately in a closed room.

They get on better and better and yes kitten only sleeps in her own room. Last night I did let Reggie have free reign of my bedroom which I haven't in the past because she'd wake me up at 3am. I have no idea if she slept better but I can say kitten has not once slept outside her room with closed door and Reggie has had the freedom to sleep where she's always slept--in the living room.

I did order Reggie a collar that is supposed to keep her calm, will see if it helps!

 

[arouetta]

One thing I've found when it comes to cat aggression is the noise and the speed. If the cats are dancing and swatting each other slow enough you can see the paws moving or rolling around in a ball biting each other fairly quietly, it's not serious no matter how serious it looks. If they are screaming and you pretty much see a blur and there's fur flying all around, it's serious and they need to be separated right then; preferably by an object, not your hand, because of the very high danger of teeth or claws accidentally clamping down on you.

I'd still leave dry food out because of the feral background. The mental reassurance that there will always be plenty of food is far more important than an extra couple of pounds. I normally measure out dry food so that they can munch all day but not go crazy like cats can do if fed upon demand; with the feral background I'd measure out a lot at first and very, very slowly reduce it to a weight neutral amount.

 

[katherynek]

I'm new to cat ownership. I couldn't have even told you what the word feral meant 7 months ago. However, I wanted a pet because I'm a single person who lives alone. Even though I've loved dogs my whole life, I know what kind of work they take and my job is so demanding it wouldn't be fair to have a dog.

So I'm convinced by a few friends and co-workers that cat ownership is for me. Cats are easy I'm told. I did my research as best I could, I bought everything I'd need and went to a local shelter. I asked to be put in a room with the two 14 week old kittens they had available and play with them. Originally I thought I wanted the other sister but Reggie just immediately warmed up to me and was so social and playful. I thought wow yeah I can do this despite never being around cats or kittens. The shelter let me take her home the same day.

I know very little about her background except that when she was brought in at around 12 weeks she was extremely feral. The vet tech told me she was very hissy and wouldn't let anyone touch her. I've read now that 12 weeks is sort of a turning point for feral kittens as to whether or not they'll be good pets.

Reggie although she started out very sweet and has been given all kinds of love, is fed the best food (been trying to get her off dry free feeding and once it's gone, I won't be getting anymore and she'll get only wet at mealtimes), is so spoiled with every toy, and has had visitors of every kind come through my apartment and socialize with her.

She's not anti social, per say. Yes she hides when someone's at the door but eventually comes out to greet people. She doesn't like anyone loud or really to be picked up by anyone except me. But she's certainly not a super social cat. Despite her being an OK companion by all accounts... I wouldn't call her particularly loving, I think she purposely ruins things like curtains and attempts to ruin dresses etc bc she thrives on negative attention which I can't help but sometimes give... I've worried about her mental and physical health as an indoor cat who hates the outdoors, really has packed on the pounds despite being fed the best diet and with what appears to be extreme food anxiety.

As far as the anxiety she exhibits and agreessiveness surrounding food, if dry food is not out all day she becomes particularly grouchy. She will beg for food all the time and if I go near the kitchen will run ahead and try to steer me to the shelves to get her food. She also chomps down as quickly as she can at whatever's placed in front of her.

And i had no idea what size kittens should be at what ages but it seems as though she was severely underweight and malnourished. Though she was allowed in the same pen with other cats at the shelter, she hissed at them and seemed touchy. Looking back, it all seems accurate she'd turn out the way she is but at the time I had no idea. I'm the only home she's ever had and her start to life was incredibly rough it appears.

Fast forward, and she's about 9 months old now, and seemed to be getting somewhat better with food issues but I could tell had just an enormous amount of pent up energy. I would play with her. Even if I were tired we had a nightly routine of laser tag to wear her out as much as I could. However I knew that wasn't enough. She's probably in the overweight category now and again, I've tried taking away the dry food it it only makes her more crazy.

I don't exactly know why but I thought it would be a good idea to adopt a kitten. Reggie is still a kitten herself and I understand now why people say to adopt in pairs. Of course Reggie wasn't exactly thrilled to begin with. However, New kitten has been slowly introduced after being in a separate room and Reggie stopped hissing at her and seemed to calm down. She does still chase the kitten, pin her down and bite her neck which scares me. I am worried that pattern of behavior will continue forever.

I know if you're reading this post you're going to think I've done all the wrong things but I tried at every point to do the right thing. Tonight, I realized she's just gotten more and more aggressive. I tried putting her in another room to eat and calm down. She yelled at first but then was quiet so I let her out. She returned to extremely aggressive behavior. I put her outside where she sometimes likes to go in the backyard and chase things. I tried playing with her. Nothing worked. so then I took her in my arms and forced her to be in my arms for a bit and she promptly FELL ASLEEP.

I couldn't believe it. She's never fallen asleep in my arms before. It dawned on me she's so stressed out since kitten arrived I bet she has not slept much at all. I placed her in my bedroom where she likes to sleep, let my dinner get cold and laid with her where I am now writing this post. She's curled up next to me now. I don't want to get rid of kitten I think in the end it will be better for Reggie to have a playmate, she's still young I think she will adapt to being her friend or so I hold out hope. Plus, I'm already in love with kitten who admittedly got a much better start to life (with the exception of being terrorized by her new adopted sister) and is a much more outgoing kitten with very little fears of anything.

I'm looking for solutions. I'm going to try feliway of course but I've read it's sort of a waste of money and doesn't work on everyone. I am also hoping I can get Reggie on Xanax. Does anyone have experience with a borderline feral cat who may have been out in the wild just a tad too long? If so, was anyone out there ridiculous enough to think she'd like a friend?

I'm new to cat ownership. I couldn't have even told you what the word feral meant 7 months ago. However, I wanted a pet because I'm a single person who lives alone. Even though I've loved dogs my whole life, I know what kind of work they take and my job is so demanding it wouldn't be fair to have a dog.

So I'm convinced by a few friends and co-workers that cat ownership is for me. Cats are easy I'm told. I did my research as best I could, I bought everything I'd need and went to a local shelter. I asked to be put in a room with the two 14 week old kittens they had available and play with them. Originally I thought I wanted the other sister but Reggie just immediately warmed up to me and was so social and playful. I thought wow yeah I can do this despite never being around cats or kittens. The shelter let me take her home the same day.

I know very little about her background except that when she was brought in at around 12 weeks she was extremely feral. The vet tech told me she was very hissy and wouldn't let anyone touch her. I've read now that 12 weeks is sort of a turning point for feral kittens as to whether or not they'll be good pets.

Reggie although she started out very sweet and has been given all kinds of love, is fed the best food (been trying to get her off dry free feeding and once it's gone, I won't be getting anymore and she'll get only wet at mealtimes), is so spoiled with every toy, and has had visitors of every kind come through my apartment and socialize with her.

She's not anti social, per say. Yes she hides when someone's at the door but eventually comes out to greet people. She doesn't like anyone loud or really to be picked up by anyone except me. But she's certainly not a super social cat. Despite her being an OK companion by all accounts... I wouldn't call her particularly loving, I think she purposely ruins things like curtains and attempts to ruin dresses etc bc she thrives on negative attention which I can't help but sometimes give... I've worried about her mental and physical health as an indoor cat who hates the outdoors, really has packed on the pounds despite being fed the best diet and with what appears to be extreme food anxiety.

As far as the anxiety she exhibits and agreessiveness surrounding food, if dry food is not out all day she becomes particularly grouchy. She will beg for food all the time and if I go near the kitchen will run ahead and try to steer me to the shelves to get her food. She also chomps down as quickly as she can at whatever's placed in front of her.

And i had no idea what size kittens should be at what ages but it seems as though she was severely underweight and malnourished. Though she was allowed in the same pen with other cats at the shelter, she hissed at them and seemed touchy. Looking back, it all seems accurate she'd turn out the way she is but at the time I had no idea. I'm the only home she's ever had and her start to life was incredibly rough it appears.

Fast forward, and she's about 9 months old now, and seemed to be getting somewhat better with food issues but I could tell had just an enormous amount of pent up energy. I would play with her. Even if I were tired we had a nightly routine of laser tag to wear her out as much as I could. However I knew that wasn't enough. She's probably in the overweight category now and again, I've tried taking away the dry food it it only makes her more crazy.

I don't exactly know why but I thought it would be a good idea to adopt a kitten. Reggie is still a kitten herself and I understand now why people say to adopt in pairs. Of course Reggie wasn't exactly thrilled to begin with. However, New kitten has been slowly introduced after being in a separate room and Reggie stopped hissing at her and seemed to calm down. She does still chase the kitten, pin her down and bite her neck which scares me. I am worried that pattern of behavior will continue forever.

I know if you're reading this post you're going to think I've done all the wrong things but I tried at every point to do the right thing. Tonight, I realized she's just gotten more and more aggressive. I tried putting her in another room to eat and calm down. She yelled at first but then was quiet so I let her out. She returned to extremely aggressive behavior. I put her outside where she sometimes likes to go in the backyard and chase things. I tried playing with her. Nothing worked. so then I took her in my arms and forced her to be in my arms for a bit and she promptly FELL ASLEEP.

I couldn't believe it. She's never fallen asleep in my arms before. It dawned on me she's so stressed out since kitten arrived I bet she has not slept much at all. I placed her in my bedroom where she likes to sleep, let my dinner get cold and laid with her where I am now writing this post. She's curled up next to me now. I don't want to get rid of kitten I think in the end it will be better for Reggie to have a playmate, she's still young I think she will adapt to being her friend or so I hold out hope. Plus, I'm already in love with kitten who admittedly got a much better start to life (with the exception of being terrorized by her new adopted sister) and is a much more outgoing kitten with very little fears of anything.

I'm looking for solutions. I'm going to try feliway of course but I've read it's sort of a waste of money and doesn't work on everyone. I am also hoping I can get Reggie on Xanax. Does anyone have experience with a borderline feral cat who may have been out in the wild just a tad too long? If so, was anyone out there ridiculous enough to think she'd like a friend?

You're doing GREAT! My perspective here is that perhaps since you've not been around cats you haven't had the opportunity to realize they are super finicky. Dogs on the other hand are people pleasers. Your cat may be seeming aggressive but it's probably also her nature especially because she was feral. Cats technically are not domesticated like dogs are. I would suggest going onto Netflix and watching "The Lion in Your Living Room".

In terms of food, I've always free fed my young kittens dry food and give them an once or two in the morning and at night of wet food. Maybe by giving her the amount she's suppose to have throughout the day and letting her moderate her own consumption will lead her to be less frustrated. Eventually she may learn not to over eat because it will be gone by the end of the day?

Also, I don't think cats are destructive to upset you personally. It's just a symptom of a larger problem or just part of cat nature.

Overall I think adopting her and giving her a great home is an amazing accomplishment even if she rarely shows gratefulness ha! My 2 year old cat who I've had since he was 8 weeks typically bites me when I go to pet him but then randomly comes up to me and purrs. licks, and cuddles me. Everything is on his terms, total cat behavior. Keep us updated!