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- Sep 17, 2014
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I am at a loss and I don't know what to do next. Honestly, I have even been entertaining the idea of returning our new cat to the shelter where we got her, even though that goes against my principles.
Background
My husband and I adopted a mellow two year old female cat from a shelter a little over two months ago. We have a ten year old female cat at home, and as the years go by, she seems increasingly lonely, so we thought it would be nice for her to have a companion (my husband and I work long hours and are often away from the home). I grew up in a multi-cat household, and didn't think we would have any problems. Additionally, the shelter assured us that Luna (our newly adopted cat) would do well with other cats.
We do our research about introducing cats, and came home with our new bundle of joy feeling prepared. We put Luna (new cat) into a bedroom suite in our house (a very large room with attached bathroom). That night, we leave to go pick up some dinner, and come home to the sounds of cats fighting. I drop our dinner on the floor and sprint to the back room, where I see that Sushi (resident cat) has somehow (!) opened the locked bedroom door, and has Luna cornered in the closet. Sushi is in full aggressor mode, but my husband quickly whisks her away. I tend to Luna, who is terrified and trembling, with a small little knick on her nose! I instantly start crying, over guilt and shame for letting this happen to this new little life that was just learning to trust us.
At this point, I realize that their first impressions of one another were awful, and therefore, we should take the introduction process slower than usual. As such, they ate on either side of the bedroom door (twice per day) for over a week. They then ate on either side of the door with it cracked about an inch for another week. And so on, and so forth, until the door was wide open. Miraculously, they seemed okay! My husband and I thought that the crisis had been averted, and maybe there was some chance they would be friends afterall. During this time period, I would also do the whole "scent swap" with towels maneuver, and twice we let Luna out into the main house while Sushi was locked in a different bedroom (accompanied by my husband the entire time). Things were going good.
Then, one morning, the cats are eating in their usual spots, about two feet away from one another, with the door to the bedroom wide open. We are about two days out from my planned "official introduction" sans food in the living room. I am standing there supervising, as usual, but perhaps not as attentive as I needed to be (by this point, we had been doing this thing for over a month! I admit, I may have gotten a bit complacent), and didn't notice that both cats had stopped eating, and that Sushi was walking toward Luna - and more importantly, about to cross the territory line into Luna's room. As soon as I could react and bend down to push Sushi back, Luna lunged forward and swiped Sushi pretty hard across the face, and then bolted to go hide in the closet.
I was devastated. I knew what this meant.. that we needed to start over. So, start over we did. But first, we waited a few days and did not have the cats react at all. They ate separately, no scent swapping, etc. We wanted to start from scratch. We also went and bought some new toys so that we could invest 10-15 minutes of play therapy with each cat each day, to help burn off energy and build confidence. We also bought some Feliway diffusers and placed them all over the house. If we were going to do this again, we were going to do it right!
Well...
It has been about 3 weeks, and they can barely tolerate the door being opened a crack while they eat. Every few seconds they will stop eating and growl or hiss at one another. I will offer some pets and reassurance, but if they don't stop, I then just shut the door and let them eat on either side of a closed door (they don't seem to have a problem with this). In the last few days, it has gotten worse, and they will both tense up and hiss at even the slightest hint of one another. If I go cuddle with Luna, Sushi will have nothing to do with me, and will very clearly communicate her displeasure via body language.
So, problem one is that these cats just do not seem to be getting along, at all. I have read countless articles, lurked on a dozen forums, I have read up on cat body language and signs of stress, I spend one on one time with each cat every day giving love and affection as well as play, I have watched nearly every episode of "My Cat From Hell" and I have consulted with other people that have gone through rough introductions. And yet, nothing seems to be working. I have been patient, and I have only moved to the next step when both cats seems calm and okay. But it seems like they just keep regressing.
It has been over two months, and we still have Luna locked in a bedroom. I feel like this is beginning to border on abuse. My husband and I work long hours, and we are only home for a few hours each day. Of those few hours, we can't spend the entire time in the spare bedroom. We do make time for Luna, but I am afraid it is not what she needs. At night, while we sleep, I can hear her crying from her room. I know that she is lonely. I know that she wants us to be with her. Every time the door opens, she eagerly looks outside, as if she is just itching to go exploring and to get out of the damn bedroom.
I am also exhausted. I feel like this is taking over my life. And the guilt of feeling like Luna is being abused and neglected, and that Sushi is upset that she is not an only child any longer, or that a stranger is in her home.
I am at a loss.
Any help would be appreciated.
Thank you.
Background
My husband and I adopted a mellow two year old female cat from a shelter a little over two months ago. We have a ten year old female cat at home, and as the years go by, she seems increasingly lonely, so we thought it would be nice for her to have a companion (my husband and I work long hours and are often away from the home). I grew up in a multi-cat household, and didn't think we would have any problems. Additionally, the shelter assured us that Luna (our newly adopted cat) would do well with other cats.
We do our research about introducing cats, and came home with our new bundle of joy feeling prepared. We put Luna (new cat) into a bedroom suite in our house (a very large room with attached bathroom). That night, we leave to go pick up some dinner, and come home to the sounds of cats fighting. I drop our dinner on the floor and sprint to the back room, where I see that Sushi (resident cat) has somehow (!) opened the locked bedroom door, and has Luna cornered in the closet. Sushi is in full aggressor mode, but my husband quickly whisks her away. I tend to Luna, who is terrified and trembling, with a small little knick on her nose! I instantly start crying, over guilt and shame for letting this happen to this new little life that was just learning to trust us.
At this point, I realize that their first impressions of one another were awful, and therefore, we should take the introduction process slower than usual. As such, they ate on either side of the bedroom door (twice per day) for over a week. They then ate on either side of the door with it cracked about an inch for another week. And so on, and so forth, until the door was wide open. Miraculously, they seemed okay! My husband and I thought that the crisis had been averted, and maybe there was some chance they would be friends afterall. During this time period, I would also do the whole "scent swap" with towels maneuver, and twice we let Luna out into the main house while Sushi was locked in a different bedroom (accompanied by my husband the entire time). Things were going good.
Then, one morning, the cats are eating in their usual spots, about two feet away from one another, with the door to the bedroom wide open. We are about two days out from my planned "official introduction" sans food in the living room. I am standing there supervising, as usual, but perhaps not as attentive as I needed to be (by this point, we had been doing this thing for over a month! I admit, I may have gotten a bit complacent), and didn't notice that both cats had stopped eating, and that Sushi was walking toward Luna - and more importantly, about to cross the territory line into Luna's room. As soon as I could react and bend down to push Sushi back, Luna lunged forward and swiped Sushi pretty hard across the face, and then bolted to go hide in the closet.
I was devastated. I knew what this meant.. that we needed to start over. So, start over we did. But first, we waited a few days and did not have the cats react at all. They ate separately, no scent swapping, etc. We wanted to start from scratch. We also went and bought some new toys so that we could invest 10-15 minutes of play therapy with each cat each day, to help burn off energy and build confidence. We also bought some Feliway diffusers and placed them all over the house. If we were going to do this again, we were going to do it right!
Well...
It has been about 3 weeks, and they can barely tolerate the door being opened a crack while they eat. Every few seconds they will stop eating and growl or hiss at one another. I will offer some pets and reassurance, but if they don't stop, I then just shut the door and let them eat on either side of a closed door (they don't seem to have a problem with this). In the last few days, it has gotten worse, and they will both tense up and hiss at even the slightest hint of one another. If I go cuddle with Luna, Sushi will have nothing to do with me, and will very clearly communicate her displeasure via body language.
So, problem one is that these cats just do not seem to be getting along, at all. I have read countless articles, lurked on a dozen forums, I have read up on cat body language and signs of stress, I spend one on one time with each cat every day giving love and affection as well as play, I have watched nearly every episode of "My Cat From Hell" and I have consulted with other people that have gone through rough introductions. And yet, nothing seems to be working. I have been patient, and I have only moved to the next step when both cats seems calm and okay. But it seems like they just keep regressing.
It has been over two months, and we still have Luna locked in a bedroom. I feel like this is beginning to border on abuse. My husband and I work long hours, and we are only home for a few hours each day. Of those few hours, we can't spend the entire time in the spare bedroom. We do make time for Luna, but I am afraid it is not what she needs. At night, while we sleep, I can hear her crying from her room. I know that she is lonely. I know that she wants us to be with her. Every time the door opens, she eagerly looks outside, as if she is just itching to go exploring and to get out of the damn bedroom.
I am also exhausted. I feel like this is taking over my life. And the guilt of feeling like Luna is being abused and neglected, and that Sushi is upset that she is not an only child any longer, or that a stranger is in her home.
I am at a loss.
Any help would be appreciated.
Thank you.