I'll try and bold major questions, so they don't get missed amongst my ranting.
I have been having continuing problems with my health this year. It started with a number of sinus infections - not that bad.
Then, around the beginning of June, I started experiencing tachycardia (fast heart rate) and palpitations. No particular timing to them, nor were there any other symptoms of panic, just the heart rate. I ignored it for awhile, thinking it might just go away, and after a month, I brought it up to one of my doctor's, just to get his opinion on it. He said it should probably be checked out, and I ended up with a cardiologist appointment and several tests. Other than having a very fast heart rate (up to 160 at some points), there was nothing else wrong. So she put me on another drug, and that seems to be keeping the worst at bay.
They tried me on an anti-depressant for a little while to see if that would help my stress levels, because that's what everyone is pointing to this as. Fair enough, there's a lot of stress in my life right now, but I think mentally I'm dealing with it okay. I'll elaborate on that later. But the anti-depressant made me miserable - very sick, noticeable tremors in my hands, and later I realized that they were actually making me very depressed, something I only noticed once I had gotten off it.
Now, over a month later, I still have very noticeable tremors in both hands, and sometimes in my legs. I mentioned this to my doctor again today, and he still thinks its stress related. I'm trying to get off of a drug (different than the one I was on when the tremors started) that I'm on whose side effects may include tremors, but I've been on this since February without this problem. I had very slight, fine tremors since my second sinus infection, but they were only noticeable under my microscope. Now you can see my hands shaking with the naked eye, and I sometimes have a little trouble eating because food shakes off my fork.
He off-handedly asked if I had considered seeing a psychiatrist....While I'm not necessarily opposed to it, I'm just not sure what kind of help a psychiatrist is going to be able to give me other than more pills, which I'm not really that eager about. I'm already on six a day, and I'm only 26!!
I admit, there's a lot of stuff going on. Last year, I in essence "failed" out of grad school when I failed my preliminary exams, now I'm going to be leaving with a Masters instead of a PhD. Overall, I'm okay with that, its going to make me happier in both the long and short term, but I will admit its kind of hard to let go of that dream (which is silly because I don't really want to be a PhD).
Being a grad student at a predominately undergrad university, I don't have a whole lot of friends that I can talk to - hang out with, sure, but most of them are 5-8 years younger than I am, and see me as "big sis/superwoman/mommy". Forget romantic interests around here. If they're anywhere near my age and still in a college town...well, there's a reason they're still in a college town. I had started to make some really good friends online at another forum I visit, and a possible romantic interest. This guy is great, and was well on the way to being at least a best friend, maybe something more. And then he told me that he was diagnosed with a brain tumor in March, and the news has gone downhill since then. I'm doing my best to be supportive, but its long distance, and there's only so much I can do.
So yeah, I'll admit, there are a lot of things going on. But mentally, I don't feel the least bit stressed most of the time. I have bad days, sure, but who wouldn't with stuff like that? Things are what they are, and I can't change any of it, and only time is going to make any of it go away. I have friends to talk to, and my faith to help me, and I'm not really sure what a psychiatrist is going to be able to help me with.
I'm willing to consider seeing a psychiatrist if someone really thinks one could help me, but if I'm not feeling stress, are there really coping strategies that can help me out? I work long hours, but I try to take breaks, and me time, and I talk things out with friends if its getting too much. I can't do less work if I want to get out of here in a year - there are just things that need doing. I'm working on eating better, and getting more sleep.
My hematologist is at least taking the tremors somewhat seriously, and says that maybe I should get a brain MRI to check for something like multiple sclerosis. It could explain the tremors and the tachycardia, but knowing me the test will come out clean. And really, I think all these clean bills of health when something is still wrong are causing me more stress.
Argh, I'm just so frustrated with it all. I've been on the verge of tears all morning since my appointment just because I'm tired of feeling sick, but then feeling like a hypochondriac when nothing turns out abnormal in my tests!!!
Thanks for leting me vent...It drives the "want to fix things" part of me crazy to have to sit and wait for everything!
I have been having continuing problems with my health this year. It started with a number of sinus infections - not that bad.
Then, around the beginning of June, I started experiencing tachycardia (fast heart rate) and palpitations. No particular timing to them, nor were there any other symptoms of panic, just the heart rate. I ignored it for awhile, thinking it might just go away, and after a month, I brought it up to one of my doctor's, just to get his opinion on it. He said it should probably be checked out, and I ended up with a cardiologist appointment and several tests. Other than having a very fast heart rate (up to 160 at some points), there was nothing else wrong. So she put me on another drug, and that seems to be keeping the worst at bay.
They tried me on an anti-depressant for a little while to see if that would help my stress levels, because that's what everyone is pointing to this as. Fair enough, there's a lot of stress in my life right now, but I think mentally I'm dealing with it okay. I'll elaborate on that later. But the anti-depressant made me miserable - very sick, noticeable tremors in my hands, and later I realized that they were actually making me very depressed, something I only noticed once I had gotten off it.
Now, over a month later, I still have very noticeable tremors in both hands, and sometimes in my legs. I mentioned this to my doctor again today, and he still thinks its stress related. I'm trying to get off of a drug (different than the one I was on when the tremors started) that I'm on whose side effects may include tremors, but I've been on this since February without this problem. I had very slight, fine tremors since my second sinus infection, but they were only noticeable under my microscope. Now you can see my hands shaking with the naked eye, and I sometimes have a little trouble eating because food shakes off my fork.
He off-handedly asked if I had considered seeing a psychiatrist....While I'm not necessarily opposed to it, I'm just not sure what kind of help a psychiatrist is going to be able to give me other than more pills, which I'm not really that eager about. I'm already on six a day, and I'm only 26!!
I admit, there's a lot of stuff going on. Last year, I in essence "failed" out of grad school when I failed my preliminary exams, now I'm going to be leaving with a Masters instead of a PhD. Overall, I'm okay with that, its going to make me happier in both the long and short term, but I will admit its kind of hard to let go of that dream (which is silly because I don't really want to be a PhD).
Being a grad student at a predominately undergrad university, I don't have a whole lot of friends that I can talk to - hang out with, sure, but most of them are 5-8 years younger than I am, and see me as "big sis/superwoman/mommy". Forget romantic interests around here. If they're anywhere near my age and still in a college town...well, there's a reason they're still in a college town. I had started to make some really good friends online at another forum I visit, and a possible romantic interest. This guy is great, and was well on the way to being at least a best friend, maybe something more. And then he told me that he was diagnosed with a brain tumor in March, and the news has gone downhill since then. I'm doing my best to be supportive, but its long distance, and there's only so much I can do.
So yeah, I'll admit, there are a lot of things going on. But mentally, I don't feel the least bit stressed most of the time. I have bad days, sure, but who wouldn't with stuff like that? Things are what they are, and I can't change any of it, and only time is going to make any of it go away. I have friends to talk to, and my faith to help me, and I'm not really sure what a psychiatrist is going to be able to help me with.
I'm willing to consider seeing a psychiatrist if someone really thinks one could help me, but if I'm not feeling stress, are there really coping strategies that can help me out? I work long hours, but I try to take breaks, and me time, and I talk things out with friends if its getting too much. I can't do less work if I want to get out of here in a year - there are just things that need doing. I'm working on eating better, and getting more sleep.
My hematologist is at least taking the tremors somewhat seriously, and says that maybe I should get a brain MRI to check for something like multiple sclerosis. It could explain the tremors and the tachycardia, but knowing me the test will come out clean. And really, I think all these clean bills of health when something is still wrong are causing me more stress.
Argh, I'm just so frustrated with it all. I've been on the verge of tears all morning since my appointment just because I'm tired of feeling sick, but then feeling like a hypochondriac when nothing turns out abnormal in my tests!!!
Thanks for leting me vent...It drives the "want to fix things" part of me crazy to have to sit and wait for everything!