Are My Newly Adopted Cats Still Friends, Or?

[Linderin]

Hi everybody,

Little over a month ago I adopted two female cats who were best friends according to the shelter. They'd been there for almost 6 months (brought in separately) and it got to the point where they'd eat from the same bowl and sit together. Over the past month, since they've been adopted, I began to notice little things that make me wonder if they're still such good friends now that they live under my roof...

- They're spending more and more time apart and in the morning I always find them in separate rooms. One of them has been withdrawing from company altogether this week.
- They've begun chasing each other in the hallway and occasionally slapping each other when one of them gets too close to the other. No hissing or blood though.
- They don't groom each other, not sure if they ever did.
- One of them regularly tries to make contact with the other (presenting her nose, sniffing the other's tail, following her into the room, making tiny noises like prrri -neither of them meows- when she sees the other) but most of her attempts at contact are denied. They do touch noses several times a day however and this usually looks friendly enough.
- They have a favourite spot next to a big chair in my living room, but they don't share this spot... one of them will lay there, walk away for some reason and then the other takes her place. The first cat sees this, is a little bummed but doesn't attempt to lay there as well.
- They still share a large toilet (they did so in the shelter too) and this seems to work fine, as far as I can tell. They're pretty regular and their stool looks okay.
- They still share a feeding and drinking bowl (kibble only, I give them wet food once a day with a spoon or on plates), and this seems to go okay as well.
- They appear to share toys.

I can think of several reasons for their reduced contact:
- They're finally settling down and their behaviour is normalizing in the sense that they're returning to the "persons" they were before the shelter and before their friendship (they were both found in the streets and are still half feral)
- One of them might be sick. If this is true, it would most likely be the cat who withdraws, but she's still extremely feisty during play and she eats normal. She also uses the toilet exactly like before. She does have a clogged nose, but doesn't sneeze or anything. And her nose is not runny.
- My neighbour's cats (male) sit in front of the windows several times a day and my girls (especially the withdrawn one) are very displeased with their visits. They are inside cats for now so all they can do is stare, hiss and flee the room. They could be projecting their frustrations on each other.
- One of them likes to eat wet food from the other's plate. Maybe this annoys the other cat to the point where she avoids contact.

I have not tried substances like Feliway yet, but am definitely willing to try. I'm also considering blinding the lower parts of the windows to avoid further contact with my neighbour's cats, but this will also take away their view of the outside world... and they really seem to enjoy looking out the windows. I have a tiny terrace of sorts that borders on a park and there's no option to put up a fence here to keep the other cats out. If the withdrawn cat shows any signs of sickness I will go to the vet immediately. They have plenty of hiding places, both high and low, and I'm going to install a proper runway for them in the hallway soon.

So, any thoughts on the situation? Do I need to worry about my cats and their friendship? Anybody here who experienced the same? What can I do to improve their contact?

 

[susanm9006]

I certainly wouldn't worry about them, there is still some stress from the adoption going on as well as those outside cat visits that might be putting one or both of the cats on edge. Or it may be that they stuck together at the shelter out of fear and now that they have space and security their relationship with one another is changing. I don't know how old they are but maybe some joint play sessions or a some catnip might get them relaxed and playing with one another.

 

[5starcathotel]

Oh I'd say they are certainly still friends, and their behavior is mostly 1 (getting comfortable), with a bit of 3. Though the withdrawn one might be feeling a bit stressed, and might need some more play time or structure.

- Not hanging out in the same room all the time - seems normal to me. They are getting comfortable in their space and their new life, and don't need to cling to each other for emotional support as much.

- Chasing each other in the hallway is probably the strongest indicator they are friends. As long as they are not hissing/growling/screaming at each other, and the chasing goes both ways at least partially, this is a great indicator of a healthy relationship between them. They are engaged in play with each other, taking turns at being prey vs predator. Even slapping each other (without claws) is simply a way of saying "thanks but I don't wanna play". As long as the other cat respects that signal and finds something else to entertain themselves with...all is good in your house.

- Grooming each other - IME it takes an incredibly strong bond for cats to do this. Of my 4 cats, only the "family unit" (mom and her two siblings) engage in grooming...though one of the cats does try to groom me occasionally! It isn't something that cats who are "just good friends" do usually.

- As far as the food and plates go, again, completely normal for cats that are friendly with each other to swap and share plates. Sharing ones meal with another, without objection, is one of those rituals that signals "we are friends".

As far as the neighbors' cats go, there are motion-activated deterrents (i.e., sprinklers) that should be very effective, and still let your cats see outside.

 

[red top rescue]

Female cats are not often closely bonded unless they are mother and daughter or siblings, although they can be friends. In my experience, most of them prefer their own territory -- their own eating place, their own preferred litter box, even their own sleeping place. In the shelter situation, your two became friends and companions, but in a home situation now, they are each finding and defining their own territory. I have two females who are friends, unrelated, but one acts like she is the kitten of the other. She is the one who comes up and lowers her head so the other female will lick it. She makes affectionate body bumps against the other female. Mostly it's fine, but from time to time the other cat will have had enough and will swat her, just like a mom swats a kitten when she's tired of it bothering her. It sounds like your two may be forming this kind of relationship, one trying to make the other act as her substitute mom, and mom walking away and saying don't bother me. Nothing to worry about, they seem fine. Although I WOULD get the stuffy nose checked by a vet. It may be left over from a past upper respiratory infection and sometimes just adding lactoferrin powder to the food is enough to control it. Other times

Nothing to do with behavior, but I would suggest feeding more wet food (i.e. giving them all the wet food they will eat at a sitting, then picking up the dishes) and they will eat less dry food. Check out our Nutrition Forum to learn more about what is the latest thinking about good cat nutrition.

The visiting male is definitely a stressor for both of them, so his visits need to stop. There are great outside deterrants that are not too expensive where a motion detector sets off a sprinkler, for instance and you could position that in front of the window this cat visits. You could also hang a curtain and block their view of him, but the sprinkler system will let them keep their window view while removing the male from it. There are many versions of this at varying prices, and here is just one sample: ScareCrow Sprinkler Motion Activated Animal Deterrent

 

[Linderin]

I certainly wouldn't worry about them, there is still some stress from the adoption going on as well as those outside cat visits that might be putting one or both of the cats on edge. Or it may be that they stuck together at the shelter out of fear and now that they have space and security their relationship with one another is changing. I don't know how old they are but maybe some joint play sessions or a some catnip might get them relaxed and playing with one another.

Thanks for the advice! They're 3.5 and 1.5 y/o. I've tried catnip but they don't seem interested yet, although they have begun licking their Kong toy occasionally which I think is filled with valerian or catnip. Last night they seemed to bond again and this morning they've been following each other around again, so I guess you're right and I shouldn't worry too much. First time cat owner

 

[Linderin]

Oh I'd say they are certainly still friends, and their behavior is mostly 1 (getting comfortable), with a bit of 3. Though the withdrawn one might be feeling a bit stressed, and might need some more play time or structure.

- Not hanging out in the same room all the time - seems normal to me. They are getting comfortable in their space and their new life, and don't need to cling to each other for emotional support as much.

- Chasing each other in the hallway is probably the strongest indicator they are friends. As long as they are not hissing/growling/screaming at each other, and the chasing goes both ways at least partially, this is a great indicator of a healthy relationship between them. They are engaged in play with each other, taking turns at being prey vs predator. Even slapping each other (without claws) is simply a way of saying "thanks but I don't wanna play". As long as the other cat respects that signal and finds something else to entertain themselves with...all is good in your house.

- Grooming each other - IME it takes an incredibly strong bond for cats to do this. Of my 4 cats, only the "family unit" (mom and her two siblings) engage in grooming...though one of the cats does try to groom me occasionally! It isn't something that cats who are "just good friends" do usually.

- As far as the food and plates go, again, completely normal for cats that are friendly with each other to swap and share plates. Sharing ones meal with another, without objection, is one of those rituals that signals "we are friends".

As far as the neighbors' cats go, there are motion-activated deterrents (i.e., sprinklers) that should be very effective, and still let your cats see outside.

Thanks for your advice! It helps so much to hear from other cat owners. I've noticed they've been more relaxed in each other's company again since last night, and I'm so relieved. I've never been owned by cats before :-) I'll look into those motion-activated deterrents, sounds like the best solution!

 

[Linderin]

Female cats are not often closely bonded unless they are mother and daughter or siblings, although they can be friends. In my experience, most of them prefer their own territory -- their own eating place, their own preferred litter box, even their own sleeping place. In the shelter situation, your two became friends and companions, but in a home situation now, they are each finding and defining their own territory. I have two females who are friends, unrelated, but one acts like she is the kitten of the other. She is the one who comes up and lowers her head so the other female will lick it. She makes affectionate body bumps against the other female. Mostly it's fine, but from time to time the other cat will have had enough and will swat her, just like a mom swats a kitten when she's tired of it bothering her. It sounds like your two may be forming this kind of relationship, one trying to make the other act as her substitute mom, and mom walking away and saying don't bother me. Nothing to worry about, they seem fine. Although I WOULD get the stuffy nose checked by a vet. It may be left over from a past upper respiratory infection and sometimes just adding lactoferrin powder to the food is enough to control it. Other times

Nothing to do with behavior, but I would suggest feeding more wet food (i.e. giving them all the wet food they will eat at a sitting, then picking up the dishes) and they will eat less dry food. Check out our Nutrition Forum to learn more about what is the latest thinking about good cat nutrition.

The visiting male is definitely a stressor for both of them, so his visits need to stop. There are great outside deterrants that are not too expensive where a motion detector sets off a sprinkler, for instance and you could position that in front of the window this cat visits. You could also hang a curtain and block their view of him, but the sprinkler system will let them keep their window view while removing the male from it. There are many versions of this at varying prices, and here is just one sample: ScareCrow Sprinkler Motion Activated Animal Deterrent

Thank you! I'll be looking into outside deterrants, didn't even know they existed. You could be right about the mother-kitten relationship thing... the younger cat really seems to become more and more 'dependent' on the older (following her everywhere, looking for contact, making those cute noises as if to say 'where are you, I need you'). I'll also look into the wet food vs dry food discussion. I was told at the shelter the older cat was getting a bit too fat (she has a floppy belly) so I decided not to spoil them too much, but there might be health benefits to wet food that I'm not aware of yet. And I'll contact the vet.. that should become quite the spectacle because my cat kills anything human that comes near her :-)

 

[maggie101]

I live with 4 adult females! It is tough. Spirit of essence peacemaker or space saver should work. Also play especially with the one that bothers the other. Older the more territorial

 

[Linderin]

Wow. I'm watching them as we speak and I've never seen them like this before. They stalk each other and start small fights, ears flat and nails out. No sound (they never make any sound), no rolling on floor, no wounds or anything, but it does not look like friendly games to me. Can anyone tell me if this is still normal play between cats?

As far as I know they didn't see the neighbour cat tonight, but I have been playing with them separately, they never play together... could they be jealous or something?
I'm making haste with that outside deterrent and extra litter box, also ordered a dose of feliway.
Not what I was expecting when I got them.

 

[susanm9006]

Would love to see it, take a pic if you can, but it sounds like a "keep your distance" interaction. I think they will work it out eventually.

 

[maggie101]

My cats do not play together because they like different toys and hunt differently. When they were younger they would chase each other around and play. Now Peaches is the owner of my apt. She plays when she wants to play but my other cat does not understand that. I have carriers lying around for Peaches to hide whenever Maggie bothers her. I have tested the Spirit of Essence many times. It does work. I can now sleep peacefully. Peaches does not growl on my bed for half the night unless I run out of the bottle and they don't have it for a week+.