Thanks for the update! You are on the right track with Patience. They do easily get the idea that humans are there only for providing food.
If Ginger Tom is mom's friend, you'll be doing them both a big favor by neutering him as well. That way, there is no chance some other Tom will try to fight him and he won't be tempted to spray and mark his territory.
Plus if he's neutered, the kittens won't seem to be a challenge to him if they encounter him before they are neutered. When they're small, the Toms often seem to understand that they're babies. But once the boys begin to develop, I wouldn't want to take the chance that Ginger Tom (or any other Tom) would see him as competition.
If Ginger Tom is mom's friend, you'll be doing them both a big favor by neutering him as well. That way, there is no chance some other Tom will try to fight him and he won't be tempted to spray and mark his territory.
Plus if he's neutered, the kittens won't seem to be a challenge to him if they encounter him before they are neutered. When they're small, the Toms often seem to understand that they're babies. But once the boys begin to develop, I wouldn't want to take the chance that Ginger Tom (or any other Tom) would see him as competition.