Anyone Else have Family Issues

[butterflydream]

Ohh I have plenty of pictures. No worries there. Plus the DSS actually did show up at my house yesterday evening and as she was leaving she said two things.
1. She had no concerns.
2. That my children were incredibly happy. Which we get alot. My children are always smiling.

 

[shengmei]

You can't fight with idiots. They'll drag you down to their level, and they'll beat you through experience.

That being said, your daughter is beautiful!!!!!

I am somewhat concerned about the amount of heartache the situation will bring you. If you tell somebody that your mother wants her gradchildren to be taken by CPS she would not believe you. That would only add to the heartache.

Calling the CPS is the worst thing an evil person can do to you. The CPS is required to investigate every allegation, and witnesses can be brought easily.

Some of those allergations are ridicuous. So what if your kids are eating McDonalds (which I do not believe to be true). Even if your kids eat McDonalds occasionally nowadays their chicken nuggets are made with all-white breast meat. They have yogurts, milk, juice, sausage McGriddles, and salads. They are much healthier than they used to be.

 

[butterflydream]

Well like I said, the allegations the social worker could tell were false. Occassionally yeah, I take my kids to Micky D's it's a special treat for them...big deal right?

Thank you for the compliment on my daughter.

But the generally speaking, my daughter is in public schools, the schools would USUALLY be the first people to raise abuse allegations (my school did when I was in school....my folks told us to lie and we did--cause they said we'd be taken and put in a home where we'd be beaten bloody and molested).

Yeah lovely folks huh?

Anywho...we are moving in a week anyways...we had planned to get out of dodge before this....and we told the social worker that and she had no objections. In fact the sheets she gave us....she marked she found the home situation to be "Safe" and marked no to all the potential abuse situations.

**I've got a ton more pictures of my children that I never grow tired of sharing**

 

[meowsas]

Oh families! Don’t start me!
My mother and I are currently not speaking although if she would but pick up the phone and be decent to talk to I would.
We have always had a difficult abusive relationship be it physical or emotional abuse. We have had various fallings out as I was in my twenties with years at a time not speaking and it in that time that I hardened to her and cried my tears. Our relationship since then has only been on the surface anyway. Recently we discovered a sister my folks had adopted out when she was a baby. Never said a word. 42 years later we find her. The last phone call I had with my mum she was ranting saying I would have aborted her if I could! My sister is a lovely 42-year-old married woman with 2 adorable boys thinking of aborting a foetus is one thing but going on about it once she is alive and walking about the planet sickened me.
I tried so hard to get on with my in laws in fact I gave it 10 years and it was so clear they hated me. The final straw was when my little brother died at 22 years. 3 months later the granddad on that side of the family passed on at 93. I was very sympathetic having suffered a recent loss I knew their pain. They said to me. What do you know? Jon was only 22 you hardly knew him losing a man of 93 is so much worse as we knew him longer.
I simply couldn't cope with them a moment longer. In the midst the agony of grieving the baby of our family.
I have not seen then or spoken to them for 3 years and it’s the best thing I ever did. I used to feel ill after seeing them before.
What I am trying to say is what I do is surround myself with upbeat positive people who love me and want the very best for me.
Your shrink is right. The kids report thing was unforgivable.
I am so happy for you your marriage is good.
Look after yourself its our hubby and kids that make up our true family. The one we can do something about to shape it and to have the lives we want.
Good luck on the job money thing too. A door will open for you soon x

 

[butterflydream]

Thank you hun. Your words are really appreciated.

 

[meowsas]

Just reading back up the thread. My daughter is 7 too.
Its a sensitive age! she too cries if we fall out and I look at her frowning not smiling.
We have to make up before she is ok again.

 

[zissou'smom]

Butterfly Dreame-

Don't give your family your new address or telephone number, get a new email address and don't tell them. They do not deserve having any contact with you whatsoever, at all. If they keep harrassing you (and that's what it is- your mother is continuing to abuse you even now) file a restraiing order. Driving past your house all the time (assuming there is no legitimate reason) is stalking, sending absurd and malicious emails to everyone you know is just plain emotional assault, and filing false claims with family services is probably illegal. You don't owe them a thing. I know how very frustrating and hard it can be, but you deserve to finally be free from their crap and so do your children and your new husband. You are doing a beuatiful job of raising your children and managing your own life, and just cause your mother won;t grow up already doesn't mean you need to be responsible for her. Cut her off totally and never think about her again except as dead wieght you lugged around for too long. I know that sounds terribly harsh to people who haven't had the sort of issues some of us have had with family members but at some point certain people (mothers and fathers included) lose the right and privilege of being called family. Best of luck, your kids are adorable.

 

[silvermoonmyst]

Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom

Butterfly Dreame-

Don't give your family your new address or telephone number, get a new email address and don't tell them. They do not deserve having any contact with you whatsoever, at all. If they keep harrassing you (and that's what it is- your mother is continuing to abuse you even now) file a restraiing order. Driving past your house all the time (assuming there is no legitimate reason) is stalking, sending absurd and malicious emails to everyone you know is just plain emotional assault, and filing false claims with family services is probably illegal. You don't owe them a thing. I know how very frustrating and hard it can be, but you deserve to finally be free from their crap and so do your children and your new husband. You are doing a beuatiful job of raising your children and managing your own life, and just cause your mother won;t grow up already doesn't mean you need to be responsible for her. Cut her off totally and never think about her again except as dead wieght you lugged around for too long. I know that sounds terribly harsh to people who haven't had the sort of issues some of us have had with family members but at some point certain people (mothers and fathers included) lose the right and privilege of being called family. Best of luck, your kids are adorable.

What they said.
Hugs Rache.

 

[abymummy]

Butterfly,

I feel for you...here's an even sadder story to make you feel a little bit better in your situation and mind you this is a current and ongoing true story:

A son files a police report ON HIS OWN MOTHER (!) stating that she had stolen ALL the pedigreed breeding cats in her home from him!!! He then texted all his relatives (on both sides) stating that if you see this woman, don't do anything but send her straight to the police station as she is a thief!!! It didn't matter to him that all the ownership and payments made are in the mother's name!!!

The mother has heart problem and you can just imagine how she feels...

My heart aches whenever I hear a story of family discordance and it worries me that this may be a trend in the future...

I'm sending you lots of positive energy...

 

[meowsas]

Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom

Butterfly Dreame-

Don't give your family your new address or telephone number, get a new email address and don't tell them. They do not deserve having any contact with you whatsoever, at all. If they keep harrassing you (and that's what it is- your mother is continuing to abuse you even now) file a restraiing order. Driving past your house all the time (assuming there is no legitimate reason) is stalking, sending absurd and malicious emails to everyone you know is just plain emotional assault, and filing false claims with family services is probably illegal. You don't owe them a thing. I know how very frustrating and hard it can be, but you deserve to finally be free from their crap and so do your children and your new husband. You are doing a beuatiful job of raising your children and managing your own life, and just cause your mother won;t grow up already doesn't mean you need to be responsible for her. Cut her off totally and never think about her again except as dead wieght you lugged around for too long. I know that sounds terribly harsh to people who haven't had the sort of issues some of us have had with family members but at some point certain people (mothers and fathers included) lose the right and privilege of being called family. Best of luck, your kids are adorable.

Here here. exactly.
get out and don't look back.
hugs to you.

 

[butterflydream]

Originally Posted by Meowsas

Here here. exactly.
get out and don't look back.
hugs to you.

That's the plan.

We are playing that plan out well I should say it is in progress right now. We go to my ILs this weekend and they'll watch the kids (thank God it is summer vacation for school kids and that's why we waited so long cause we didn't want to pull our daughter from school). Come back and pack up and ship the hell out.

We intend on getting a PO Box. I've already changed my IMs (yahoo and AIM) and I'll have my FIL change my email addy that I used to use.

I am prolly going to have to change the cell too. Which sucks cause that's the number alot of my online friends have. I can call and tell them though I guess.

 

[meowsas]

its worth changing everything. goodluckx

 

[butterflydream]

Originally Posted by Meowsas

its worth changing everything. goodluckx

Yeah I know. It sucks cause I hate to run away....which is what it essentially feels like but obviously we aren't safe here. I should have known better (love kicking my self in the tush) than to trust that they had changed. But That's me the ever optimistic one.

Lessons Learned....I suppose.

 

[meowsas]

Hope springs eternal when its your mum. I still hope...

 

[butterflydream]

Originally Posted by Meowsas

Hope springs eternal when its your mum. I still hope...

HUH????

 

[neetanddave]

Glad to hear you are taking the first steps to moving on with your husband and kids. They are all you need.

 

[meowsas]

"I should have known better (love kicking my self in the tush) than to trust that they had changed. But That's me the ever optimistic one. "


Hope springs eternal when its you mum. ie I too always hope my mum will change and all will be good this time. only just stopped doing that. like you trusting your mum again to no luck..

 

[butterflydream]

Thanks for clarifying with all the stress going on, I've been just a smidge brain dead lately.

My usually very analytical brain is pretty much on overload.

 

[sanctie]

My heart goes out to those with families like this. I know these problems very well, and that is an understatement, lol. I hope your move brings you peace, you deserve it.

 

[butterflydream]

Thank you Sanctie and everyone! Y'all have been so wonderful.