anti social kittens

[hollyl]

On April 4th my cat had a litter of six kittens. I have found homes for three of them. Three are still with me. Two of the kittens are very sweet, playful, curious, loving and very welcoming to human contact and affection. One of the kittens though, not so much. With her brothers she is a normal cute as can be kitten. But as soon as anyone gets near her she runs away. When I manage to catch her she squirms until I let her go. She is not aggressive at all, just scared it seems. She never scratches or bites, just runs and hides. I can't figure it out. None of the other kittens are like this. I know that this can be normal for some cats and that some just have an antisocial personality. I can accept that. But I really need to find a home for her and that is proving quite difficult when she darts underneath the couch anytime someone walks in to the room with her.  Is there anything I can do to help her be more trusting? I'm really at a loss. Thanks.

PS.. Just a few things. Momma cat, while not a lap cat is not like this at all. Also, the kitten who I have started calling little sister is the only female out of the litter and was also the smallest. She was the third born. I don't know if any of these things would matter, but there they are none the less.

 

[tulosai]

How old is she? How much did you handle her when she was younger? Do you try to tempt her with interactive toys?

Also, is there a reason your cat is not spayed?

 

[hollyl]

The kitten was born on april 4th. I think that is 11 weeks if I'm counting right. I've handled her since the beginning, as soon as momma cat was ok with it.  About two or three weeks old. And I have tried various toys, but she doesn't take the bait.

Momma cat is being spayed this Friday.

Thanks.

 

[tulosai]

I guess I'd try a totally new approach then- get her in a small room where she doesn't have many places to hide, shut the door, and just sit there, talking to her or reading (aloud or silently) but making no move toward her. I would give up trying to catch her, it's clear she doesn't like it and it might be stressing her out and making her more antisocial.  If you sort of ignore her and just sit there for long enough she might eventually come explore you and you can go from there.

It is a rough situation because it does sound like this might just be her personality and you are right that it is gonna make it really really hard to place her  Is there a chance you could try to get someone to take her with one of the friendly kittens, and let that person see her play with them?

I am glad you are getting your kitty spayed

 

[hollyl]

That is actually a good idea, getting her in a small room.  I'll try to lure her in with some food or something. I really try not to chase her. Most of the time when I handle her it is because I found her sleeping. She always sleeps in the same place.  You would think she would sleep in a hidden place, but no, it is always on the same ottoman. Most of the time she senses me coming though and then she is off.  Her stealth is nothing short of amazing, really. Very ninja like.  lol

And yeah, I know her being spayed is something that has to be done, but the closer Friday gets the more nervous I get for her. I know she will be fine, but still. eeep..

 

[ondine]

Think of it this way. If you don't get mommy spayed, every three or four months, you'll be finding homes for more kittens. Plus spaying is good for her health - less chance of her getting cancer or other diseases associated with mating. It really is the best thing for everyone. Can't blame you for being nervous but she will be fine.

The "safe" room for the kitten is an excellent idea, as is the idea of adopting her with one of her brothers.

 

[msbedelia]

I also find that cats really like to explore you if/when you're peacefully napping on the floor of their safe room!!!

From there, it's easier to get them to explore you awake, though its still best to let them come to you and do the other things suggested.

Sometimes shy cats that won't chase after an interactive toy still like watching it with their eyes. As they become more trusting f the person wielding it, they may start to engage.

 

[physicsgal981]

I end up with a lot of semi-feral kittens from the shelter.  For kittens that are more shy, rather than I safe room (which is what I do with most of my foster kittens) I set them up in a dog crate in my living room.  This makes sure they are exposed to the ins and outs of daily living while have a small place to call their own. I put a small cat carrier with the door removed in the crate so they have a place to hide and give them toys and all the necessities.  This makes it easy to work with them plus they are always being exposed even when you aren't actually working with them directly.  For most of the kittens I've used this with I see a major change in personality.  Good luck! 

 

[hollyl]

Thanks everyone for your replies and advice. I tried the safe room yesterday. She hid under the chair in there for quite some time. When she finally came out she sniffed around the door and hung out in the window. She never came to me, and when I tried to pet her it was back under the chair. This morning though, when I tried to pet her she didn't run away. She even rolled over and let me scratch her tummy for a few seconds before she took off up the stairs. She has let me pet her one more time since then. Small progress is still progress. I think I'll keep at it with the safe room.  Thanks!

 

[tulosai]

Thanks everyone for your replies and advice. I tried the safe room yesterday. She hid under the chair in there for quite some time. When she finally came out she sniffed around the door and hung out in the window. She never came to me, and when I tried to pet her it was back under the chair. This morning though, when I tried to pet her she didn't run away. She even rolled over and let me scratch her tummy for a few seconds before she took off up the stairs. She has let me pet her one more time since then. Small progress is still progress. I think I'll keep at it with the safe room.  Thanks!

Yaaay!!  That actually sounds like big progress to me! Congrats!  Keep it up

 

[msbedelia]

That sounds like big progress to me too! How wonderful!

Do be careful not to get overexcited and move too fast though, which is what I do.

 

[hollyl]

I'll admit it's been hard not to get too excited. I'm trying not to push. She has let me pet her on several occasions today. She still wont let me pick her up but I'm just glad she is starting to trust me, She let one of my sons pet her today too, which is a first. Right now she has joined me on the couch. Way on the other end of the couch, but hey, before she would have been under it.

Now I am having more kitten drama. I mentioned before Cersei was being spayed today. Well this evening I brought her home and now one of the boy kittens is acting really strange. He has the arched back, puffed up tail thing going on every time he goes near her. The other two aren't doing this.  My scaredy cat has actually been pretty attentive. Staying close by and even giving her kisses on the head earlier. I moved Cersei upstairs where the kittens rarely go. It just seemed weird to me, him acting like that. 
 

 

[franksmom]

I'll admit it's been hard not to get too excited. I'm trying not to push. She has let me pet her on several occasions today. She still wont let me pick her up but I'm just glad she is starting to trust me, She let one of my sons pet her today too, which is a first. Right now she has joined me on the couch. Way on the other end of the couch, but hey, before she would have been under it.

Now I am having more kitten drama. I mentioned before Cersei was being spayed today. Well this evening I brought her home and now one of the boy kittens is acting really strange. He has the arched back, puffed up tail thing going on every time he goes near her. The other two aren't doing this.  My scaredy cat has actually been pretty attentive. Staying close by and even giving her kisses on the head earlier. I moved Cersei upstairs where the kittens rarely go. It just seemed weird to me, him acting like that. 

 

Yeah cats are often bothered with the "vet smell" you can try rubbing a towel on each cat to mix the smells. You can also put vanilla on cersei to get rid if the vet smell.

Just wanted to add Frank was the runt as well and was pretty antisocial as a kitten. He is now very friendly with me and my family and gets even more cuddly and friendly as he gets older.

 

[tulosai]

Yeah cats are often bothered with the "vet smell" you can try rubbing a towel on each cat to mix the smells. You can also put vanilla on cersei to get rid if the vet smell.
 

This.  Cats recognize one another primarily by scent, so they are just confused.  Give it some time (and mix smells if you can as suggested) they will get over it.