Another My Cats Hate Each Other Thread....

[Tillybug]

1 year ago I rescued a little black senior cat. He came from a hoarding situation and was a bonded pair but his lady buddy didn’t survive. He is declawed. Once he was in my care, I immediately noticed he had dental issues and he had all of his teeth removed due to stomatitis.

I was toying with getting him a buddy so he wasn’t alone and figured since he had been a bonded cat the transition would be easier. Plus, this cat is an extreme bully to my senior small dog. My dog is extremely passive and doesn’t bother with the cat at all.

Mid October I adopted a 4yr old female cat. The 2 week trial went well. We did the room swapping etc but both cats seemed to ignore each other and coexist well. New cat had lived with other cats and dogs with no issues.

There was an altercation one day and the old cat has been in my boxspring for about a month. He only comes out to eat and use his box. The new cat is totally comfortable in the house and goes everywhere. Old cat won’t leave my room.

I’ve been home this week so observing what’s going on. Appears new cat is stocking old cat in the boxspring. She also waits for him to come out and will attack him. I find her sitting in his litter box. I do correct her and shoo her away.

I do close my door to give old cat some space. Old cat sleeps on my bed at night and yells and hisses when new cat comes in the room. The good news is his aggression towards my dog is completely gone. My dog can now sleep on my bed. New cat and my dog are besties.

I have 3 litter boxes and new cat uses 2 of them. Old cat only uses his. I do fear she is blocking him from using his box and I worry he is holding his business too long. I’m only scooping 1 very large pee a day and a poop every other. He is eating and drinking as normal.

As a side note- new rescue kitty went to the vet and she doesn’t have any teeth either..anyone else have 2 toothless cats? Lol

Any suggestions? On the plus side, one day this week I did wake up and old cat was by my head and new cat was by my feet. Do I just keep doing what I’m doing? I’ve thought about locking new cat in my room and leaving old cat out but old cat is extremely stubborn and has shown his feelings with bodily functions....

 

[Columbine]

Hi, and welcome to TCS

I'm so sorry you've not had any replies before now. This is a huge site and, occasionally, threads get missed

Cat to cat introductions are rarely straightforward, so it's not too surprising that you're having issues. It sounds like your boy is pretty nervous of/intimidated by your girl, which is why he's hiding out so much. Just because a cat has enjoyed living with/been bonded to a cat previously, it doesn't mean that they'll quickly accept or appreciate a new friend being introduced (as I found out myself this summer...my girl still isn't thrilled with the new guys ). I think this will just take a lot of time and even more patience on your part to get everybody fully comfortable with each other...and you'll need to accept that the cat may never do more than tolerate each other.

This new girl sounds like a bit of a bully right now. I would focus on giving her plenty of interactive playtime every day, to give her a positive outlet for the energy she's currently putting into stalking your boy. Part of the problem may simply be that she's bored, so giving her other things to focus on could really help. Definitely continue redirecting or removing her when she starts stalking your boy - she needs to learn that it is not acceptable behaviour.

As far as your boy is concerned, first of all make sure that everything is ok physically. Cats can hide when they're in pain, and it certainly isn't normal for him to be using the box only every other day. You also need to give him some one on one time to help rebuild his confidence and re-establish more of your home as his territory. Play is a wonderful tool for this too, as well as being a great stress-buster. Do NOT under any circumstances try and force him out of his (your) room before he's ready. Encouraging and enticing him (with food, play etc) is one thing, but straight up forcing the situation could well make him more scared and nervous, not less. You have to move at his pace. Having said that, blocking off the boxspring itself could be helpful, as it will encourage him to come up take refuge in higher places instead. Hiding under things, where he essentially traps himself, could eat away at his confidence more, whereas having a higher vantage point will in itself help to rebuild his confidence.

If possible, try and open up as much vertical space as you can for the cats, by using cat trees, wall furniture, tops of bookcases etc. This will effectively increase your home size as far as the cats are concerned. Done thoughtfully, it can also turn dead ends into escape routes, reducing the chances of your girl being able to corner your boy. This in itself can be a huge confidence boost. As far as your girl is concerned, more vertical space means more places to climb and explore, again meaning she'll be less inclined to go after your boy. It's a win-win

I'd consider introducing a couple of extra litterboxes, too. The more boxes you have, the fewer your girl can block at one time, particularly if they're well spaced around the house. I know it's a pain, but it's a small price to pay if it helps your boy feel more secure about doing his business.

Ultimately, it's a case of time and patience, and lots of both. Most likely, the improvements will be very gradual, but with persistence they will come.

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[Mamanyt1953]

I have to apologize for not seeing your thread before now! I am so, so sorry! I would never want someone seeking help with their cats to feel as if no one cared! Luckily, Columbine spotted this, and gave you every bit of information I could have given you, plus some!

I find the fact that you woke to both cats in your bed to be incredibly heartening! They can overcome this set back, and become tolerant of and comfortable with each other, if never "besties."

 

[Tillybug]

Thanks everyone- no worries on the late reply. Seems it’s a common problem and there are plenty of threads to read!

This morning I woke up and had old cat by my head, new cat at my feet and dog to the left! New cat was also rolling and showing her belly.

While I agree she is a bit of a bully, she also really wants to be his friend. My vet describes them as the social butterfly and the grumpy old man.

I have 4 (yes 4) cat trees in my house. Old cat has his own in my room. He will sit on it and he does eat and drink on it. The other one is in th3 basement and the other 2 are in the main sitting area. New cat is a Bengal so she loves her 7ft one!

Old cat was never really social or snuggly. Poor dude had an awful life before he came to me. He was almost overly confident before the new cat came and attacked my dog multiple times a day. He does get his time with me in the evenings. He purrs, tail straight up, licks my face, tries to eat my hair, head butts anything he can. I go in my room multiple times a day and talk to him. Sometimes he comes out, sometimes he ignores me. He isn’t one that plays. He’s more of a hang out kinda guy.....

The Bengal gets plenty of play time. She loves her toys and climbing her trees like a maniac. She also jumps straight up from the floor to the top of the fridge.

I do think they will coexist ok together. I just don’t want the old cat to never leave my room.

 

[Columbine]

As soon as you said your girl was a Bengal, her behaviour made so much more sense. They're crazily intelligent, active, high energy cats, so I can understand her behaviour a lot better. My guess is that her stalking your boy is simply a game to her, and is likely intended as playful rather than dominance. Lower energy, less intelligent cats can really struggle when learning to 'read' and live with these super-smart exotics (and in this case the age difference won't be helping matters either).

That's exactly the position I'm in - my girl is a rescue from a local farm (she was living as feral there for some months before I found her, and is around 3 years old. My boys are 9 month old Russian Blues, and are incredibly bright and full of energy. They try the stalking game with Asha, but she doesn't understand and reads it as a threat. It took a lot of time, work and perseverance to get her confident around them (including a LOT of physically removing the boys when they stalked her). They even tried to dominate her fairly early on (they're just ultra confident and had that youthful cockiness too), and it took time and many interventions to teach them that this was NOT acceptable. We're now around 5 months in, and all three cats (and the dog) are equally confident throughout the whole house. Asha still isn't best pleased about the boys (and they get growled and hissed at, and even hit a little if they push Asha too far), but we have peace around 95% of the time and Asha will even choose to be in the same room as the boys sometimes.

Just keep working with them both, and redirecting your girl as much as is necessary. With patience and perseverance, they should learn to coexist

 

[RufusGizmo]

this site is the only thing that gets me through. when I read that it takes this long to get cats integrated, I feel sometimes like I will actually make it. I have two older male cats (about 11) and brought home two kittens, and moved at the same time. (they have been together since september, little guys still sleep in basement though) I feel like there are really good days where progress is made, and then boom, the big ones are hissing and swatting the little guys. they will all hang out during the day and sleep in the same room, its when I get home, or am trying to get ready for work in the morning that they all swarm me and the fighting begins. Is this normal? it stresses me out so much, i'm sure that does not help. I sometimes feel I cannot do this.

 

[Tillybug]

I knew that getting another cat wasn’t going to be easy because Panther is so dominant. He is also quite stubborn. I did so much research and reading about how to pick personalities etc...

The Bengal (Luna) was a rehome from a family and is exactly what I wanted. She isn’t high strung or hyper and she is so snuggly(I know, not typical Bengal!). Everyone that meets her just thinks she is the coolest cat. I honestly don’t think she is trying to be aggressive to him. Everything starts when Panther starts yelling and hissing and growling. I would bet money that if he didn’t act aggressive they would be buddies. I know this is my thinking process and not the cats!

I thought that Panther would be in charge but he is not. It’s been almost 3 months and I guess I thought they would coexist by now. Good days and bad days like anything I suppose.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Three months isn't actually that long. I know of one success story that took just a week or so short of a year! Crossing my fingers for a Christmas Miracle for your kittehs!