I have a dilemma and would like your opinion on this.
A friend of mine invited me to her house for Thanksgiving and recently, I contacted her to ask how many people would be going (so I'd know how much food to make) and who would be there. To my HORROR, I found out that a guy I totally DISLIKE was invited AND it'd be a very small group- only the host/hostess, the JERK, me and host's neice plus their kids.
I have a VERY BAD history with this JERK- I actually kicked him out of my apt one Thanksgiving (A friend originally made me invite him over for Thanksgiving) He was sooo LAZY- didn't help with cleaning up, I actually had to ask him to take the turkey platter out to the trashbin, he WHINED about it then had the NERVE to ask if he could borrow my slippers cuz he didn't want to put HIS shoes on to go outside, I told him HECK NO (he couldn't fit into my slippers and I wouldn't want HIM wearing them- EW), to shut up and do it THEN later on that night I found out he was criticizing my home decor behind my back so I stormed into the room and told him if he had a problem with my home decor that he could get out! He tried to apologize but I told him to leave anyway) THEN about a year ago, he tried to dump a cat on me, actually threatened to throw the poor cat outside if I refused to take her in, eventually I had to take her in BUT I REFUSED to let him into my apt and REFUSED to talk with him. (more info available at this link- http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=47357). Even now, whenever I see him at church, it's REAL HARD for me to be POLITE- if he comes up to me and asks a question, I ALWAYS am ABRUPT in my answers and am VERY COLD toward him..... I KNOW it's wrong but I just can't be two faced...
ANYWAY, the hostess knows of my KIND feelings
for this man but unfortunately her hubby found out that the JERK had no place to go for Thanksgiving (GEE I WONDER WHY)
and invited him. The host didn't know of our history.. When the hostess found out he had been invited, she got a bit worried but then thought it'd be okay cuz they had invited a lot of other people meaning hopefully I wouldn't have to interact with him much since others would be there. Unfortunately, a lot of these people backed out (dunno if it's because of the JERK or for other reasons).
When I found out about him being invited, I told the hostess that I was not sure if I'd be coming to her house because I am not sure if I can enjoy Thanksgiving if I'm there with him. I also don't want to make it a "tense and awkward" Thanksgiving for my friends and have them worry about protecting HIM from me
. I want them to have a GOOD Thanksgiving and enjoy themselves..
OPTIONS: stay home on Thanksgiving ALONE with my cats (all of my good friends already have plans or will be out of town and I don't want to invite myself over- that's TACKY IMO) OR go to this friend's and HOPE I don't have
with him again...If there were a lot of other people there, I THINK it'd be okay cuz I'd be able to avoid him and spend time with other people but since it'd just be me, JERK and a neice, it'd be IMPOSSIBLE to avoid him.. I told the hostess I'd let her know by Sunday my decision - she understood but I feel soo guilty and rude..
I KNOW I should be christian and try to forgive him but HONESTLY, every time I see him (we're in the same church), I just get sooooo
.... But on the other hand, I feel sorry for the hostess cuz if I don't go, she'd just have the kids, her hubby, the neice (who doesn't know sign language) and the JERK to visit with..
What's your ADVICE???? HELP... BE HONEST.. Tell me if I am being wrong about this....
A friend of mine invited me to her house for Thanksgiving and recently, I contacted her to ask how many people would be going (so I'd know how much food to make) and who would be there. To my HORROR, I found out that a guy I totally DISLIKE was invited AND it'd be a very small group- only the host/hostess, the JERK, me and host's neice plus their kids.
I have a VERY BAD history with this JERK- I actually kicked him out of my apt one Thanksgiving (A friend originally made me invite him over for Thanksgiving) He was sooo LAZY- didn't help with cleaning up, I actually had to ask him to take the turkey platter out to the trashbin, he WHINED about it then had the NERVE to ask if he could borrow my slippers cuz he didn't want to put HIS shoes on to go outside, I told him HECK NO (he couldn't fit into my slippers and I wouldn't want HIM wearing them- EW), to shut up and do it THEN later on that night I found out he was criticizing my home decor behind my back so I stormed into the room and told him if he had a problem with my home decor that he could get out! He tried to apologize but I told him to leave anyway) THEN about a year ago, he tried to dump a cat on me, actually threatened to throw the poor cat outside if I refused to take her in, eventually I had to take her in BUT I REFUSED to let him into my apt and REFUSED to talk with him. (more info available at this link- http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=47357). Even now, whenever I see him at church, it's REAL HARD for me to be POLITE- if he comes up to me and asks a question, I ALWAYS am ABRUPT in my answers and am VERY COLD toward him..... I KNOW it's wrong but I just can't be two faced...
ANYWAY, the hostess knows of my KIND feelings
When I found out about him being invited, I told the hostess that I was not sure if I'd be coming to her house because I am not sure if I can enjoy Thanksgiving if I'm there with him. I also don't want to make it a "tense and awkward" Thanksgiving for my friends and have them worry about protecting HIM from me
OPTIONS: stay home on Thanksgiving ALONE with my cats (all of my good friends already have plans or will be out of town and I don't want to invite myself over- that's TACKY IMO) OR go to this friend's and HOPE I don't have
I KNOW I should be christian and try to forgive him but HONESTLY, every time I see him (we're in the same church), I just get sooooo
What's your ADVICE???? HELP... BE HONEST.. Tell me if I am being wrong about this....