Am I Being Unreasonable w/ My Daughter? (long & sordid)

[kerry'n'ben]

i have been in a similar situation not too long ago. the bloke i was seeing used to hit when he was angry too. my mum told me over and over not to go near him but that made me more determined. when i eventually wised up and broke it off he got really weird and aggressive, he punched a tree and told me i broke his heart. then he started following me around, i had to change my whole routine several times. It was really scary and i realised i should have listened to my mum from the beginning. your daughter will wise up eventually. you have done right by limiting her contact with him and hopefully she will see you have her best interests at heart

 

[tierre0]

No you are not being Unreasonable. She is your child and as a parent it is your job to try and protect her.

Whether in this case she will follow your advice, or understand your reasoning well time will tell, at 18 how many of us thought our parents had the answer.

However, place your faith in the fact your daughter is an intelligent young women who noticed that a problem existed before. Is obviously confident enough in herself not to allow someone to bully her and has strong enough self-worth to know no one has the right to verbally abuse her.
She may take a detour or two along the way but in the end she will do the right thing.

 

[libby74]

You all are giving me so much good advice! I feel better about my position, but it's sooooo hard.

I gave dd a check today to pick up her formal from the alteration shop. She looked like a whipped puppy when she realized I wasn't going with her. I told her to remind 'the prince' that he's to pick her up at the front door, and not to let his Mom stop by to take pics (she did that last year, before the prince turned stupid). DD told me his Mom knows he's not welcome in the house, and that the guy had told his Mom why dd had broken up with hiim--for calling me a name. His version is "My Mom said that was rude, but I don't see why she(meaning me) won't forgive you." I told dd that apparently the guy's Mom hadn't received the full account. I said, "If you think he told her the truth I'll give you $50. Do you think he told her that he'd had a tantrum, repeatedly called me a nasty name in a crowd of several 1000 people, hit a trash-can, thought it was funny that you were upset about his behaviour, and told you that he called his own Mom that name all the time" I will give you the money."
She decided he probably hadn't told his Mom the whole truth, and I kept my $50.