My baby boy, Sme passed away probably 2 years ago...but it honestly feels like it was just yesterday considering how much pain I'm still in. I've been having a particularly hard time lately and I'm not completely sure why its happening now. Maybe what I thought would be the difficult times aren't over and I haven't even begun to feel the real aching in heart for him. All I can say is that I'm just as much a wreck lately as the day he left me. I miss him so much it makes my chest hurt when I think about him. I try to hide my crying from my boyfriend cuz I don't want to feel ridiculous, like I'm still in mourning after 2 years...but I am still mourning. And despite the fact that he would FULLY understand my pain and console me...I'd rather just cry into my hands while he's sleeping or leave the room. Sme was the kind of cat that always knows when I'm upset and would come up to me and look me in the eyes as if he's asking, "are u ok mum?" Which makes it even more difficult when I'm suffering so severely and he's not here to make me feel better. The reason I'm posting is cuz I'll be moving out of my home where he's buried and it makes me sick to my stomach to think of leaving him here. But I know I cant dig him up myself and rebury him at the new place. I could never ever handle seeing his lil body like that after 2 years. My boyfriend said he'd do all the work of digging him up, taking him to the new place and burying him again, but I'm afraid I'm being selfish dragging his body with me when I leave. I know that his body was just a capsule and that he's gone, and I know it sounds irrational but what if his spirit is still here with me...and if I leave he'll be alone and scared and not know to follow me cuz he thinks I'm coming right back as usual. I just love and miss him so much...I'd literally give my right arm if I could just see him and kiss him on the head one last time...he was, and still is my baby...my child...my best friend. I just don't know if taking him with me when I move will either help or hinder my already difficult mourning over him still after 2 years. I know i'll feel so guilty and terrible if I leave him here...I'll never forgive myself...but I don't know if digging him up and reburying him there will just open old wounds that I thought just started to heal. Has anyone else been conflicted with this...and what did u do? I'd like to hear what anyone thinks about my topic though.