Aggressive cat, want to keep him but afraid of him

[spookysmom234]

I just adopted a 7 month old long haired black cat and he was really fine at first. My boyfriend got him for me and he stayed with him for a week. I took him home a week later. It took him a while to adjust but ultimately he came around and started walking around, talking and being a great addition to the family. He showed me signs of trust by rolling around on his belly, letting me pet him, following me around. I thought I was doing great and he was happy.
One day I had to go get my hair done so i was away for a pretty long time and he was alone. I came back and I gave him some attention but I was pretty tired. He got on the bed with me and was falling asleep and ever so often would wake up and inch closer to me. When I fell asleep he graced me with his paw. I found that I wasn't getting any sleep so I decided to go upstairs to my room (I keep him downstairs) when I tried to leave he repeatedly meowed, so I was guessing that he didn't want me to leave. When I got back on the bed he jumped up and my feet were in the air and he started biting them. It startled and scared me. I got down and poured him some kitty food and that seemed to calm him but he upset me and I left.

The second time, he was playing on a ladder in my basement and it looked like he was stuck so I tried to get him down and he bit me. I walked away and sat on the ground in my basement and he got down, sat next to me and bit my leg. I attributed this to being hungry and I fed him, but it increased my fear of him.
Another day, he kept going up and down the steps and I'd follow him, then it appeared as though he was going to attack me, he put himself in between the banister and swatted like he was going to scratch and bit the stair handle. It scared me.

The next time my boyfriend was over and we were on the bed, he jumped up on the bed and looked at me and started to bite me. He bit my arm and I climbed away from him. Then he scratched me I fed him as I thought he was hungry

The last time, my boyfriend sat him on my lap and he digged his claws into my leg, reached down and bit it.

I'm really getting discouraged can anyone tell me why he's doing this? Just the day before he was following me around, letting me pet him and talking purring rubbing against me. What am I doing wrong? This cat does have a history of abuse suffered from another cat, could that be it? Could it be that I'm away too much? Any suggestions would be extremely helpful, thank you

 

[spookysmom234]

I also would like to add that he never does anu of this to my boyfriend, he is in fact very affectionate with him which also upsets me :/

 

[Willowy]

Does he hiss, growl, etc. when he bites or scratches you? Also, has he been neutered? When he bites, does it draw blood?

Some of it sounds like he may be playing or giving "love bites", and some of it sounds like typical unneutered cat behavior.

 

[spookysmom234]

He dosent hiss or growl, and he hasn't been neutered. Could that be the reason why?

It does seem like at times he wants to attack, he stares at me intently and looks on the offense which is something he didn't used to do either :/

 

[Primula]

He absolutely needs to be neutered. Get that done ASAP and then see how things progress. That is the very first thing to be done in an effort to find out why he is doing this.

 

[Willowy]

Yeah I'd say he's probably feeling his oats :lol3:. He's at that age. Better have him neutered soon. That may be one reason he's rough with you and not your boyfriend---you're his special lady .

 

[spookysmom234]

Okay, thank you so much. I'm taking him to the vet tomorrow so hopefully I can get the problem fixed soon, and hopefully his behavior changes

 

[spookysmom234]

Update:
Spooky seems to be doing better now. He attacked my feet when I was going up the stairs so I figured maybe I'm not playing with him enough. He's been following me around this morning since I came home from work and meowing a lot. He didn't eat until I got there. He stood in front of me and started meowing, and I gave him a little pet and he didn't bite and wasn't aggressive. He also rubbed his cheek onto my stoarage container (what does this mean?)

I think I wore him out now as he went downstairs to his little haven.
I have another question, he's been scratching up my sofa a lot lately, could that be because he's marking territory? It's kind of irritating my father

 

[kim23]

Rubbing his cheek on anything is great. He is leaving his scent and making your place 'our place'. Cats mix their scent in with their environment and it becomes home for them. I am dealing with inappropriate scratching too. I have bought several scratching posts and placed them around the house. Then when my little guy scratches where I don't want him to, like my couch, I try to catch him and move him to one the scratching posts. Also, I give him treats when he uses one. You did get him fixed right? That should help a lot.

 

[hbunny]

He really, REALLY needs to be neutered or he is going to start marking in more unpleasant ways!  It does sound as if you are his "special lady"...and he definitely needs to see you as momma instead of his woman.  I really believe, as others have said, once neutered you will see a definite change in his personality.

Even if you believe his behavior is improving, he definitely needs to be neutered! 

 

[spookysmom234]

Update: I took him to the vet Tuesday. Turns out he is NOT neautered and strangely, the vet thinks he's older than 7 months.

He did such s great job at the vet, didn't give them any problems. I could tell before we went he didn't want to go, we had to force him into the cage and he cried all the way there. I think he thought we were sending him off to a new home.

The vet said his behavior towards me is mainly because he hasn't been neutered and probably sees me as a mate more than a mother, and she gave me some info so I could have a better relationship with him. When we got home he was following me around being very affectionate. They said he was an extremely good cat and I had nothing to worry about. Thank you guys for all your advice

 

[talkingpeanut]

Update: I took him to the vet Tuesday. Turns out he is NOT neautered and strangely, the vet thinks he's older than 7 months.

He did such s great job at the vet, didn't give them any problems. I could tell before we went he didn't want to go, we had to force him into the cage and he cried all the way there. I think he thought we were sending him off to a new home.

The vet said his behavior towards me is mainly because he hasn't been neutered and probably sees me as a mate more than a mother, and she gave me some info so I could have a better relationship with him. When we got home he was following me around being very affectionate. They said he was an extremely good cat and I had nothing to worry about. Thank you guys for all your advice

I'm glad you got some more information! Can you have him neutered soon?

 

[spookysmom234]

I'm glad you got some more information! Can you have him neutered soon?

Not sure if I can the vet I went to said it would cost about 300 dollars which I'm not sure I can afford right now. I understand it's an urgent matter so I'm gonna see if i can work something out with my parents

Also, does getting him neutered mean he won't be able to mate with another cat and make kittens?

 

[Willowy]

Yes, neutering means he won't be able to make kittens.

There may be a low-cost spay/neuter clinic nearby. If you post your general area, somebody might be able to help with that. Or call all the animal welfare agencies within driving range and ask if they know of anything.

Young intact males can get pretty obnoxious :/.

 

[spookysmom234]

Yes, neutering means he won't be able to make kittens.

There may be a low-cost spay/neuter clinic nearby. If you post your general area, somebody might be able to help with that. Or call all the animal welfare agencies within driving range and ask if they know of anything.

Young intact males can get pretty obnoxious :/.

I live in oxon hill Maryland. I'll definitely look into that thank you

 

[talkingpeanut]

Not sure if I can the vet I went to said it would cost about 300 dollars which I'm not sure I can afford right now. I understand it's an urgent matter so I'm gonna see if i can work something out with my parents

Also, does getting him neutered mean he won't be able to mate with another cat and make kittens?

Did you want him to mate and have kittens or are you just clarifying?

 

[spookysmom234]

Did you want him to mate and have kittens or are you just clarifying?

I'm moving with my boyfriend soon and we were thinking about getting another cat for him to mate with to have kittens, we'd keep one of them and sell the others. Now I'm not so sure if his behavior problems will persist if it's not done immediately

 

[Willowy]

It's a bad idea to deliberately allow non-purebred cats to have kittens anyway. It's VERY hard to find good homes for them---the thought of selling them for any particular amount of money is almost laughable! It's hard enough to get someone to pay $20 to cover their vaccinations. It costs a lot to raise kittens, there's no way you'd recover the expenses. Plus the shelters are already killing millions of kitties for lack of homes. Cats are very efficient procreators.

And, yeah, you don't want this behavior to continue. The longer he goes on acting like that, the more of a habit it will become. Most breeders keep separate quarters for their breeding studs, because most toms don't make very agreeable housepets.

 

[talkingpeanut]

I'm moving with my boyfriend soon and we were thinking about getting another cat for him to mate with to have kittens, we'd keep one of them and sell the others. Now I'm not so sure if his behavior problems will persist if it's not done immediately

Yeah, that's really not a great idea. Living with two intact cats is nearly impossible. They have to be separated and you'd need to deal with all sorts of marking and aggressive sexual behavior. It's also not a happy life for your cats - they are out of control with hormones and mating is quite painful for the female. It should only be done to further a breed.

In addition, breeding is very expensive. You would need money for emergencies, as you are risking the health of your female, but also food, litter, vaccines for a whole little family. It's MUCH more than a neuter.

It sounds like neutering asap would be the best choice.

 

[hbunny]

This may sound awful, but unless you are a professional breeder you really don't need to be bringing more cats into the world.  There are too many homeless and uncared for as it is.  The cats aren't missing out on a "life experience" in any way by not mating and having kittens, it is a miserable experience all around for them (and for you) if  you aren't experienced and have the funds ready to dish out.  Much more if there is an emergency during labor and delivery, or ill or malformed kitten you must take to an emergency vet off-hours.  And if you are unable to afford the $300, breeding and caring for a litter of kittens would be impossible.  And it's just wrong to bring them into the world with no ability to provide healthcare or guaranteed good homes.  Most people are not going to pay for a kitten unless it is registered from a good line and comes from a respected, reputable breeder.  I wouldn't bet on making money off of them.

Please neuter, don't breed.  I don't mean to sound harsh, but it is the absolute truth.

And...if he hasn't already, he is going to start spraying in your house, your clothes, furniture...if you've never experienced the spray smell from a tomcat, get ready!