Aggression or pecking order?

[ddpb2112]

You may remember my earlier posts. I am now 2 weeks into a kitten/cat introduction. I went through the whole scent introduction, site swapping, eating by door etc. Things kept getting better: they sniff each others noses, i feed them next to each others, they sleep on separate tiers of the cat tower and overall just seem to coexist. However, the adult is low-energy and clearly is still annoyed by the kitten and would prefer not to have him around. When the kitten is in a playful mood, he will stalk and rush her, but then always stop at the last minute in front of her face and usually get a couple whacks. There hasn't been any hissing or growling at all except for one isolated incident last night when the adult hissed once.

So my issue is that over the last day, the adult is pushing back more. They are both active before bed. We do a lot to work energy out of both of them for a while before bed. A few times last night the adult ran up to the kitten and just started whacking him in the face and chase him out of the room. My wife scruffed the adult and put her on the cat tower and it sorta diffused the situation. It seems like the difference in energy level is the only problem, for 90% of the day there are no problems its just if the kitten gets really amped up without us distracting him.

We have a runt adult. She is only 6.5 lbs. The 13 week kitten is basically 60-70% her size already and noticeably growing each week. I suspect he will be her size by 6 months.

I don't expect they'll become best friends. My hope is that they'll coexist long enough that the kitten begins to calm down. Does this situation seem okay? Is she establishing dominance still?

 

[ritz]

I'm kind of experiencing the same situation, although Ritz hisses and swats when Dahalia runs up to her, and vice versa. Both female, Ritz is around six years old, Dahalia eight months old. I've had Ritz for around six years [she had a rough start in life] and Dahalia for about five months [I rescued her from under a car]. Very different personalities.
They can eat on the opposite sides of the kitchen, they share litter boxes, and when Ritz is snoozing on my lap will allow Dahalia to snooze on my chest. And they will sniff each others noses, butts, and walk very close to one another.
YET: I believe the hissing, chasing (like your cats) is largely deciding who is the alpha/beta--which can change week to week, month to month. And Dahalia is full of energy, just wants to play--Ritz never liked to play even as a kitten.
So the situation seems okay (better than mine!). An expert in this field (runs a cat sanctuary, no cats are in cages) said: as long as they are not rolling on the ground with teeth and claws barred, you should not interfere. They have to figure out their own relationship. I do try to divert any potential nasty interactions--stepping in between the two when Dahalia is getting ready to pounce, chase Ritz. And it can be common for two cats to sleep together one day and the next day they are fighting. They're cats!
And definitely play with them as much as they want and as much as you can; my goal is to play with Dahalia so much she is too tired to bother Ritz.
Good luck. Worth it in the end. And, the kitten will eventually grow up
ps: not sure why some of the text is in italics.

 

[shadowsrescue]

Since you are only 2 weeks into the intro process all of the behavior is to be expected.  Cat to cat intros can take weeks to months to many many months.  I would back up and keep working.  It is just too much too soon.  A very common mistake that most of us make.

 

[ddpb2112]

"back up" meaning separate them completely?

Their safe/isolation rooms are pretty small cause I'm in a studio. I know I've repeatedly gotten "advise" that this isn't ideal and they need this and that, but I'm in a situation where I need to try and make it work with what I've got. I can use these small rooms as essentially time-out rooms if they aren't getting along, but I can't keep one of them in there for a week and just start over. Our kitten grew less and less tolerant to being in the bathroom. It's basically only tense with them between 6-8am and 6-10 pm.

 

[shadowsrescue]

 
"back up" meaning separate them completely?

Their safe/isolation rooms are pretty small cause I'm in a studio. I know I've repeatedly gotten "advise" that this isn't ideal and they need this and that, but I'm in a situation where I need to try and make it work with what I've got. I can use these small rooms as essentially time-out rooms if they aren't getting along, but I can't keep one of them in there for a week and just start over. Our kitten grew less and less tolerant to being in the bathroom. It's basically only tense with them between 6-8am and 6-10 pm.

Just be sure to watch them very closely during the bad hours.  You can do time outs, but remember that if the new kitten comes on strong to the resident cat and the resident cat gives a warning ( hiss, growl, posture) and the kitten doesn't stop, don't punish the resident cat.  The kitten needs a time out for not stopping. 

Do you have any Feliway plugs in? 

You also could try the screen door trick.  You can get a cheap wooden screen door ($20) and attach it to an existing door frame with tension rods.  This allows the cats to still feel a part of the household.  It works better than baby gates. 

Also during these critical hours, be sure to play with each cat separately.  Really get the cat moving.  Try the Hunt, Catch, Kill, Eat, Groom, Sleep technique.  You want to really play with the cat with a da bird or other wand toy or laser pointer.  The play session should last as long as possible.  After hunting, catching and killing the toy, offer a small meal or special snack to satisfy the Eat.  You want it to be something extra special.  A small amount of plain cooked chicken, a bit of canned tuna or extra special wet food.  Next, the cat should groom himself/herself and take a nap.  It might take more to tire out the kitten, but a small meal after a play session might do the trick.  You can do this exercise many times each day.

They will get there and I bet they will learn to enjoy each other.  It just takes time.  I thought my two would never ever even learn to coexist.  Now they love each other.  They play, groom each other and sleep together.  So it can be done, it just takes time.

Another tip I learned was to try and stay as calm as possible.  When you get upset ( which is hard not to do when the cats are upsetting the household), the cats get upset.  This causes a no win situation.  When there is an issue try to calming remove one of the cats for a short time out.  You can start with just a few minutes.  If it happens again, the time out is longer.  Usually by the 3rd time, the cat gets it!

 

[ddpb2112]

Thanks ShadowsRescue this is good advise. Giving them a treat to satisfy the eat is a good idea.

Training a kitten is hard...one thing I wonder is positive reinforcement -vs- negative feedback. I have a tin can with coins that I'll shake if the kitten bites cords or does other such things. They share water and dry food bowls but I am trying to get the kitten to understand that they have separate wet food dishes so I'll use the can if he goes to hers.

 

[ddpb2112]

Ok, 17 days in. Things still getting better each day. Despite the adult getting used to the kitten and, at times, almost seeming to enjoy his company; she is a cranky tired old cat who really doesn't want to play. The kitten goes after her tail and will chase her around, but is very gentle. I usually try to distract him and get more energy out of him but it's inevitable in this small space that they are going to have their little skirmishes here and there. He's a bit over 13 weeks now. Do they start to calm down after 6 months? I'm thinking this is just going to be exhausting and tricky until he begins to grow out of kittenhood.