My older sister and I are 11 years apart and we really close when I was younger and are still close now
-
Too many ads? Join our community of cat lovers now to reduce ads by 90%! Click here to join for free!
Age gap....
- Thread starter ilovesiamese
- Start Date
My kids are 23, 17, 10, and 6. The oldest is living out of state, and I wouldn't say she is "friends" with the 6 y/o, but they certainly love her. When she visited last, she was like a grandma-type, spoiling the little kids rotten!
I think adoption or fostering is a great idea, if you have the strength to do it. I never thought I could, and now that I have fostered kittens I am sure I couldn't foster kids! LOL!
I went to church with a family that fostered many children, and ended up adopting several. One boy that they got when he was very tiny, and the adoption wasn't finalized until he was almost 3 years old. I could not live knowing "my" child could be returned to the birth parents who did not even know the baby. (And I am certain that within about an hour of holding the baby, it would be "mine".)
Of course, as a teenager I babysat for a family for a week while the parents went on vacation, and I cried on the way home because I knew I would miss the 2 year old! I do know several people who successfully fostered kids, and others who successfully adopted kids. It really is a great thing to do...just far far beyond my capabilities!
I think adoption or fostering is a great idea, if you have the strength to do it. I never thought I could, and now that I have fostered kittens I am sure I couldn't foster kids! LOL!
I went to church with a family that fostered many children, and ended up adopting several. One boy that they got when he was very tiny, and the adoption wasn't finalized until he was almost 3 years old. I could not live knowing "my" child could be returned to the birth parents who did not even know the baby. (And I am certain that within about an hour of holding the baby, it would be "mine".)
Of course, as a teenager I babysat for a family for a week while the parents went on vacation, and I cried on the way home because I knew I would miss the 2 year old! I do know several people who successfully fostered kids, and others who successfully adopted kids. It really is a great thing to do...just far far beyond my capabilities!
I have several friends who have siblings who are 8+ years younger, and they have really fantastic relationships. There is too much of an age difference for there to be any real rivalry, so they really grow up as the best of friends. It's all the good things about being siblings but few of the negatives. I think the 1-4 year spread sets you up for the most rivalry in the long run.
I agree that age doesn't really matter. I'm 26, my brothers are 18 and 12. I'm sorry that I'm missing out on so much of my youngest brother's life, but at the same time, we have our own lives to lead. He has his, and I have mine. My middle brother and I are good friends, after many years of ugly rivalry.
There's really no ideal, because every child is going to be different. Follow your heart on this one.
There's really no ideal, because every child is going to be different. Follow your heart on this one.
There's a great book called "The Birth Order Book" by Dr. Kevin Leman that talks about the dynamics of the order of kids in a family and the effects of age gaps on that dynamic. You could probably find it at your library and it is out in paperback.
