After 6 mos, our original resident girl still always hostile & mean to new boy

[chat2008]

It was around 6 mos. ago that we adopted a friendly, playful 2 y.o, male Russian Blue as foster-brother for our lone 4 y.o. Female tabby. We did all the textbook things to acclimitize them to one another, and though now most of the time they coexist, they generally retreat into their own separate areas apart- and the only times they get together really is to fight. The boy just wants to play flight, and rarely if ever uses his claws and never tries to bite; our girl is perpetually mean to him- will try and scratch or bite him even though the poor guy still tries to go up to her to groom her or headbutt from time to time, in vain. He is laid back and doesn't care if she is the alpha, but I think because he is twice her size and more muscular, she views him as a perpetual threat. No matter what, we adore them both and I think life is still more fun and interesting for her than it was all alone- but it's such a shame the boy has to have his new sister be such a beeatch to him all the time.

Is there any hope- or methods- to get them- in particular to get our girl (since he is friendly) to be friendly to him or is that just something we have to accept due to her anti-social personality? To us she is as sweet as ever. Are psychotropic drugs an option i.e. is it possible she has some sort of OCD that can be treated to allow her to finally realize he is not a threat? (That approach has been mentioned from time to time on NPR's "Animal House").

 

[annamariesmomma]

Definitely will resolve itself over time. My female is still hostile sometimes to my male and its been over 2 years, but she also taught him how to use the little box. after he got stung by a wasp, she helped nurse his wound, and reintroduce him to our household critters slowly, spiders and such. then retaught him how to hunt, as he seemed to have lost his knack to skittishness. So, don't worry too much, protect him when she's particularly vicious, but leave them alone when she's just getting him a little. He'll learn to protect himself, and she'll learn he isn't going anywhere, get used to him, and become friends with him.

 

[rad65]

You can try masking their smells from each other. It's what I do when I bring one of my cats home from the vet, but it can also help when two cats just plain don't get along. Rub them both with a dab of vanilla extract or some talcum powder, behind the head and just in front of the tail. This will make them both smell identical, and if you've ever seen your cats rub against walls, you, everything, etc, you know that smell is the sense that cats use the most. If you pet your sleeping cat even once, chances are that the cat will wake up enough to lick the area that you pet so it smells like them again. Resetting their smells might reset their entire relationship. It worked when my roommate's girlfriend's cat was visiting. When he started fighting my cat, we did the same thing and the two started getting along almost instantly.

 

[gibbly]

some cats never do get along, friend of mine has 3 cats two of them (ages 3 and 7) adore one another, hit it off right off the bat and were actually playing the same night he brought the 3 year old cat (who at the time was 10 weeks) home, but his third cat, who is just a mean cat in general is 6 years old, and refuses to get along with the youngest, and it's been three years.
 

 

[leslie65]

It's been 3 years since this was posted. I'm just wondering how things worked out between your cats. It sounds almost exactly what we're going through. Our 5 1/2 year old resident girl cat (an 8 lb.alpha cat) and our new 12 lb. very friendly and playful 2-4 year old boy cat. We've had him for 3 weeks and are trying to do everything "by the book".  She's not happy (hisses and attacks) and he is oblivious. Is there any hope Chat2008?