Advice Please! Cat Biting My Kids

[jillhydra]

Hi, all! A little background first...I hope you can help a stumped cat mom out here We have a sweet, sweet gal named "Pancakes" and we rescued her from a shelter about six months ago. She is about 1.5-2 years old. She was not a lap cat at first but then became one about two months post adoption. Yay! She doesn't like to hide or retreat, is social and very vocal (talks to us) with a bit of sass to her. She rarely hisses (maybe with being surprised or caught on furniture with her nail). Very affectionate at times! She loves small treats on occasion of chicken, turkey, tuna or a sliver of cheese. She is clean with her litter box and generally, responds to being redirected to a scratch post (seems like she catches on quickly). Great cat, overall!

Here's the dilemma. My boys (4.5 and 6) adore Pancakes as a house pet and husband and I are still working on their manners with the cat. It's a constant educational process with teaching and reminding them how to live with a live animal and I SO want this to be successful and fair for all! Our Pancakes bites my 4.5 year old in the same spot (upper shoulder). One time we had to take him to the Dr. since she broke a bit of skin open. Luckily, no infection had resulted. Yesterday was bite number three in the same location. When this happens, she appears like she is trying to "attack" him with wide eyes/ears flat. Happened once when sitting on the floor with her, once when he rounded the corner and another when sitting by her ball that goes around a scratching post. She will try to do this with my oldest son but maybe because he's taller she doesn't reach his shoulder? She's never attempted this "attack" with my husband or I. We have tried time outs for both kids and the cat, re-direction, adding more interesting toys, a shaker to ward off her thinking of going for the shoulder, I am running out of ideas but I cannot tolerate this so something has to change. I called up a behavioral specialist but do not have $450 for a two hour consult at this time. She is fixed and had a litter prior to being adopted into our family. I was told she was likely an indoor/outdoor cat prior and we have her indoors only now. What else am I not thinking to do? I don't believe she was a feral cat as she can be rather social? No health issues to report and up to date on shots/vet care.

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• jillhydra
• Jun 18, 2016

 

[margd]

This is a tough one, which might be why you haven't gotten an answer yet.   It sounds like your kitty is biting as a warning - usually in this case, one of the best things to do is to learn the warning body signal signs that appear right before the warning bite.   Your kitty's ears will flatten, her eyes get dilated and her muscles will tense up a few seconds before she lashes out.  Older children and adults can often recognize these signals and learn to instantly back off, with time, it becomes almost instinctual.  With a young child of 4.5, that's not going to work.   It's especially tricky because it sounds like neither your son nor your kitty are actually doing anything that wrong.  He's an enthusiastic 4 plus year old and she's a cat watching out for her safety. 

It seems to me the best thing to do is to keep them separate until your son is a little bit older.  Is this an option at all?  

 

[kittens mom]

Not contact cat toys. Teach your children how to play with Pancakes in a safe way.

Vertical spaces where your children cannot access Pancakes. And strict rules that they are not allowed to play with her when she retreats to those spots.

 

[cuddlemum]

I have had the same problem with my seven year old daughter, but our cat wasn't breaking the skin and was the only other warning he give was the tail swishing. My daughter likes to cuddle him and he really not a cuddler. Our cat bites and licks sometimes but not hard never broken skin. Like nibbling. My daughter was a bit scared at first when he did it to her but know she used to him doing it. As for the most part it's slow not quick when he does and or he wants to play. I have told her to leave him but she doesn't always listen she keeping picking him up and he gets annoyed and does a slow bite.

Are the kids stareing at the cat? We watch my cat from hell and we do this slow blink with out cat and it has helped. If they are stareing the cat see it as a threat. We were told our cat when they had him at the shelter he wasn't good for small children cos, he scratches, but he hasn't. Only time he scratches is either the couch or carpet or trying to get away from my youngest holding him, Never has he drawn blood with his nails or teeth and is a very sweet cat. He bites me when it's meal time if I don't listen to his miaows, but slow bites and no broken skin. It's just his telling me to hurry up.
I understand it is a learning process with kids and it will take time for the whole house to adjust. I have to keep telling my daughter to leave him alone.
Maybe give your son something new like a toy or a movie and might redirect his attention away from the cat? Or play a game with him or watch or read some books about cat behaviour from the library. That is what we did there is charts on the net about a cats tail and so on and what to look for when they happy or sad, I found them helpful.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I have a 4 year old son; I understand the constant educational process. 

Do you have a cat tree or cat shelves that Pancake can get up and away from the kids on?  The cat tree has been a haven for my girls when my kids were both smaller.  I also still have baby-gates up to separate my kitchen/dining/office area from the rest of the house.  One of our girls is pretty cranky.  She needs her space to go where the kids can't reach her or even just run around her.  She has to smell our hand before we can pet her and sometimes she bops us just for walking by her cat tree. 

  She can be a lovebug too.  It's all on her terms. She's always been this way and I've had my 2 since they were about 11 weeks old.

Recently my older child (6) learned that Noodles really enjoys playing with a drawstring that she will dangle and shake for her.  This has been a game changer for us!  She finally tolerates DD and doesn't get grumpy with her nearly as much!  She's more friendly and confident around the kids and will let DD pet her.  It's still hard for DS; but he is also playing with her from time to time with the drawstring.  I try to talk to my kids about how to act, explain cat behavior/body language/etc, demonstrate things.  DD is old enough that its sinking in but DS is learning both from what I say and watching DD and I.  I can see that he sees things; but its just going to take time

I think our boys need time to mature to understand cats and be able to control themselves around cats of different temperaments.  (DS has no issues with my mother's 3 cats; who tolerate boy-noises and motion and all that.)  For now I think it will help if Pancake has a high place or two to retreat to where your kiddos can't bother her.  Somewhere to survey her territory.  Some cats really benefit from multiple shelves placed so they can move around a room or area without touching the floor at all.  I haven't had to take it that far yet. 

 

[jillhydra]

Thanks, all for taking your time to offer some really great suggestions! Truly appreciate it! I "grounded" both of my boys from interacting with Pancakes until we came up with some alternative ideas on how to proceed. This gave everyone some space for a few days to hopefully think and today, I went over some additional cat rules. For example, what to look for (flattened ears, big, wide eyes, etc.) I really liked the idea of a visual chart for cat body language.

Unfortunately, it won't be realistic to keep my 4.5 year old completely away from the cat (it's a small house) but I am putting a lot more space between them. Pancakes likes to perch on the couch facing out the window and sit on window sills. She likes to watch neighboring outdoor cats. However, she doesn't appear to like to retreat when going into protection mode. She appears to claim her space under the coffee table or by her horizontal scratching pad/ball game toy.

Generally, she enjoys having the boys play with her with dangler wands and laser pointer but will switch to actively defending mode in a moment's notice. She likes the boys petting her and she'll go give them kitty hugs and responds affectionately to them about 90% percent of the time.

Do you think she'll retreat to another perch-like structure if she so far appears to like to maintain her space and not go away when feeling unsure/protecting herself? The reason I ask is the one cat perch shelves/tree I'm thinking of would be a pretty expensive investment and she has ignored perching on the medium sized vertical scratching posts/perches I had purchased then returned. Any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated?

 

[kittens mom]

I think you are making some great decisions. One thing you should definitely keep up on is claws clipped , on Pancakes and the continuing reinforcement of cat rules. Her sudden attacks during play may be overstimulation.

Cat trees are expensive. Often arranging furniture can allow a cat to access some higher vertical space. You can encourage her to use that option by placing a bed up high and using treats and clicker training.

As always Jackson Galaxy has some excellent shows from My Cat From Hell dealing with children, biting, over stimulation and catification.  In fact your children are old enough to watch them with you.

 

[catpack]

I find that *most* cats do like their cat trees (even the seniors in our rescue that didn't have them growing up!) The idea is to place the tree(s) strategically.

You do mention that the "attacks" are occurring around specific objects. Are these toys/scratchers in a certain room? Have you tried moving these to different locations? Are the "attacks" occurring in other places?

Also, if you don't already know, Wayfair.com is a great place to purchase trees from. Chewy.com also has good prices. My personal favorite cat tree brands are Kitty Mansions and Armarkat. They seem to hold up the best out of all the brands I have tried (I have a cat rescue and we go thru A LOT of cat trees!)