Advice Needed-A Stray has taken up residence on my deck

[Jbrookat]

I need some advice on dealing with a very friendly, obviously socialized stray who has taken up residence on my deck.

We first noticed kitty about 5 days ago wandering around our backyard. The first couple of times, he bolted away into the woods. (I say he because I *think* I see boy bits, but I am far from positive). Two days ago he suddenly appeared on our deck and has been there ever since. He has literally left the deck twice in two days, and both times he reappeared within an hour. He sleeps on a chair on the deck, if we go out there he rubs up on our ankles and "talks" to us. My husband went out there to grill one evening and kitty just laid there, mellow and watching, not the least bit afraid. Kitty has tried to enter our house several times, but we have managed to keep him outside so far. This is definitely not a true feral cat because he is quite comfortable with people.

I have given him some dry food and water because he is quite skinny, and I have posted pictures up on various social media sites and spoken to neighbors. Nobody has stepped forward to claim this cat, so I don't think he is anyone's beloved lost pet.

We do have a TNR program in our community and I have reached out to them, because I am clueless. He *might* be a TNR cat because part of his ear is missing, but it does not look neat at all-it looks ragged and possibly infected. And there are also the potential boy bits that may still be present. I do plan to take him today to be scanned for a microchip and hopefully the vet will have some insights, but I am pretty sure that he will not have owners who are looking for him.

Here is my problem/dilemma: I love cats and so do my kids and husband, and obviously this cat has "chosen" us in some way, but I am not sure our home is the right place for him. For one thing, we have 2 female (spayed) indoor kitties now who are not pleased by his presence on the deck. Both of them are high-strung and I think bringing in a new cat would be hard on them. I am also unsure about this deck cat and my kids. He is friendly, but he does nip at me occasionally and has scratched my 8 year old because she stopped petting him, and now my 8 yr old won't go near him. For another, I grew up with a neutered boy-cat who regularly marked his scent on EVERYTHING and it drove my parents insane. (I do know not all boy cats do this, BTW). A spraying boy cat would be a deal-breaker for my husband, and we would end up having to surrender him, which would break my kids hearts and mine too. Keeping him as an outside cat is also not a good option because he chases my neighbor's indoor/outdoor cat (who my kids adore) and I am afraid they would end up hurting each other.

There is a no-kill shelter here, but it is always at capacity so IDK if that is even a good option. I have another neighbor who has expressed interest, but she also has young kids (even younger than mine) and with this cat's behavior toward kids, I don't know if that would work out either.

I guess I am just needing some insights. Will a cat who is unsure about kids have a good outcome in a shelter? What would you do in this situation? And again, he is very friendly to me (adult female). Would his occasional nipping/scratching settle down if he were in a loving home?

I'm attaching a picture. He's a handsome boy. Please advise!

 

[shadowsrescue]

Thank you for wanting to help this sweet one. Here are a few thoughts:

1. Kitty is definitely a stray and most likely has been outside for long enough to be a bit wary of humans. Yet since he rubs up against you and seems friendly, it would not take long at all to resocialize him.

2. He needs to get to the vet. He can be scanned for microchip as well as getting some care for his ear. They also would be able to tell you if he is neutered or not. Some ear tips are not straight so he could very well be neutered. He also should be tested for FIV and FELV before having any contact with other cats.

3. Most cats when brought inside can learn to adjust to living together. It takes some time and patience as well as plenty of vertical space ( cat trees or wall shelving for cats to get up high and away). If you have a spare room or bathroom where he could live during the socialization and introduction to your girls that would be great. I have brought 6 feral/stray cats into my home throughout the years. Four of them were very feral and had never been inside a house. They have all adjusted and learned to live together.

4. Living outside is very very very hard. Cats constantly have to be on the watch for predators. One of the reasons so many are living inside my house is because of the coyotes. Please consider trying to give him a home.

5. You could always work on socializing him and then look for a home. Since you are a cat person it does make it easier.

6. Here on TCS we have lots and lots of tips and tricks for bringing stray cats inside to live. Yet step one is a vet.

I really hope you can find a way to further help him. Being cared for outside with shelter and food/water is better than nothing. Yet if you can find a way to give him a try inside, you might be surprised!

 

[Jbrookat]

Well, now things are even more complicated.

I took kitty to be scanned for a microchip, and he had one! The vet also confirmed that he is neutered and that his ear was clipped as part of a TNR program, but the microchip meant he had been adopted out, so the kids and I were super excited. We took him off to the shelter, hoping to help him reunite with his people.

Unfortunately, he has no people. The shelter told us he was TNR'd and chipped as part of their "community outdoor cat" program, and now I am supposed to release him back into my yard. Which, according to them, is his "territory".

Y'all, I really don't want an outside cat. The man at the shelter recognized the cat and essentially told me to either keep him as an outdoor cat or stop putting out food and he will move on. He said they just TNR'd him a couple of weeks ago, which is why his ear tip looks so raw and awful, and reassured me that he'd be ok, but this just makes me so sad. I had no idea "community outdoor cats" were a thing.

I have a neighbor who wants to come and meet him today. But they would want him as an indoor cat I am sure, so IDK if that would even work out.

If you have insights, please share them.

 

[shadowsrescue]

Just because he was TNR'd doesn't mean he has to stay an outside cat. I did TNR on all of my former strays/ferals and they all now live inside. This boy is way too friendly and is not a feral cat. I would still try to make him a home with you or the neighbor. Yet she must realize that he may never be a sit on your lap, playful cat. He may be fearful of kids, noises, etc... I would only allow the neighbor to have the cat if she is willing to do the work necessary. He can't just be brought inside and you hope for the best. He will need a room of his own for awhile and time to be socialized. Also are the kids old enough to help with the cat and realize he is not just a cute cuddly kitten.

Stopping putting food out for him is just plain cruel. Community cats that are part of a TNR program usually have a caregiver. He may have moved on because he was bullied, pushed out my older stronger cats or the food supply had run out.

 

[Jbrookat]

Thank you, I thought stopping feeding was cruel also.

Neighbor's kids are 6 and 8, so old enough to be gentle (not toddlers) but I know she definitely wants a cat that will cuddle up and be affectionate. I think this boy would do that given time, but perhaps not right away. My kids are older (8 and 11) but I think there would be serious territory issues with my cats if we brought him into our home. They are a bonded sister pair and super shy. My calico especially would struggle.

Another neighbor brought up taking him to her parents for them to keep as a barn cat because they have a large property. So I guess that's a possibility, too.

 

[shadowsrescue]

Does your neighbor have any other cats or has she been around cats before? He may very well develop into a cuddly boy, but there is also the chance he won't. Out of all the cats I have brought inside, only one likes to cuddle and it took him 5 years. He is still scared of any visitors and loud noises.

I would have your neighbor come over to meet him and see how she does with him. If he can be picked up that is definitely a plus. He will just need a quiet place of his own. Ideally the space would be cat proofed too. You wouldn't want him in a spare room where he can hide under a bed. Yet if the bed can be picked up off the floor or put flat on the floor, bedrooms can work. Also watch for large furniture where cats can squeeze behind.

Another issue is being sure that he doesn't get back outside. If he does, he may wander away again. Sometimes when outside cats are brought inside and confined in a space, they will yowl and howl and try to get outside. Windows need to be shut or just cracked open. Also there needs to be caution that he doesn't get out of an open door.

When bringing an outside cat inside, there are many variables. Sometimes it can be quick and easy and other times it can take a lot of work.

I really hope you can find a solution! You are trying your best!

 

[Jbrookat]

Neighbor did come by to meet him. She has no other cats. Her beloved kitty escaped outside (and probably met with coyotes) about a year ago. She was impressed by how friendly he is, but I am not sure if she will take him. She said she'd think about it, but she kept commenting on how big he is. He is definitely not a petite cat. She didn't try to pick him up, but he has allowed me to pick him up and will stay on my lap briefly so I think it's possible for him to develop into a sweet cuddly cat.

 

[Jbrookat]

I finally heard back from one of the rescues in my town!! They are going to post him on Facebook! Please cross your fingers that they find him a place!

 

[Jbrookat]

Well, I just witnessed a cat interaction that may be significant. I have been feeding the deck cat (my kids have started calling him Tucker) first thing in the morning at around 6 am and then again around 4 pm. He is obsessed with food. He literally snorts while eating and gobbles up everything immediately, never leaving leftovers.

So this morning, I go out to feed him and neighbor's indoor/outdoor cat (his name is Big Boy) is on the deck. They aren't hissing at each other, they are just regarding each other warily. I put down the food for Tucker and he dives in. Big Boy comes close like he wants to eat too. I try shoo-ing Big Boy away (I know he is not hungry, he is free-fed inside at home and he hunts chipmunks and voles in my yard all the time), but he just keeps coming back. Tucker ignores him. Then Tucker takes a break from eating and HE LETS BIG BOY EAT FROM HIS BOWL. (Sorry about the yelling, but I was shocked.) Big Boy eats some, walks away, and then Tucker finishes the food.

I think this is great, because it means that Tucker can share his territory and get along with other kitties! Am I right to draw this conclusion? I really wasn't sure before.

In other news, I spoke to a rep from

cat rescue in my town (the same rescue where I adopted my indoor kitties), and they agree with all of us that this cat has no business living outside. He is definitely not feral. They are going to work with me to get this boy tested and checked out by a vet, and then they are going to find him a foster placement where he can come inside! I am so excited for him!

In the meantime, regular meals, frequent pats, and a sheltered place to sleep have agreed with Tucker. He is filling out nicely. If my husband had not said absolutely no more cats, and if we had anywhere to isolate him inside while our diva indoor cats adjusted, I'd be tempted to adopt him.